If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
Here is a narrative report from a mother who initially watched the clock more than her child:
“After months of consistent naps, my toddler’s sleep suddenly regressed around 15 months. Despite trying various strategies, including early bedtimes of 6pm and extended crib stays (“Crib 90”), naps remained short. This made for many ruined weekends involving early microwaved dinners, evening tantrums, and even canceled outings for fear of pushing her past the point of overtiredness.
Frustrated and overwhelmed, I sought advice from Dr. Weissbluth. He suggested abandoning wake window schedules and focusing on my child’s tired cues. By observing my toddler’s behavior, I realized her naptime was 45 minutes later than I initially thought. She needed 6.5 past her morning wake up time before being tired enough for her nap, well above the conventionally-recognized 5 hour wake window for toddlers aged 15-18 months. Following her cues, she began taking longer, more restful naps.
This experience highlighted the importance of individualizing sleep routines and trusting parental intuition over rigid schedules. While the one-size-fits-all approach of wake window schedules are often touted, , my personal experience showed that paying attention to my child’s sleep needs was more important and effective.”
Here is our email exchange:
Anxious mother says:
October 1
Dear Dr Weissbluth, for nearly 3 weeks now my 17 month old has been skipping her one and only nap. To make up for this sleep deficit I have been putting her to bed at 6pm, and while she sleeps for 12-12.5 hours at night she won’t sleep during the day. Is she getting insufficient sleep? What can I do to get her to sleep? I have worked hard to instill consistent sleeping habits since she was 6 months old – putting her in her crib, blackout curtains, white noise, same room temperature. I sacrifice 2-3 hours of my afternoon every day to make sure she naps at home. I experimented with various wake windows, 5 hours, 5.5 hours, 5.75 hours, yet nothing I have done has yielded any success in getting her to nap. The thought of her delayed development due to lack of a day sleep is filling me with crushing anxiety. what can I do to help her nap?
MWsays:
October 1
The ‘Nap Drill’ (pages 289-297 in my book) is a method to establish or re-establish age-appropriate naps after 3 months of age. It describes what to do when your baby is between 3-6 months of age and separately, what to do differently after 6 months of age. Also, see Blog Post 209.
Temporarily, move the falling asleep time to 5:30pm (she is bathed, fed, soothed, and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm). Let me know how it goes.
Anxious mother says:
October 1
Dear Dr Weissbluth, thank you for your response. I have been an avid follower of your book and have been using the nap drill as her 30 minute pre-bedtime and naptime routine. Still, nothing seems to have changed. 530pm- 6pm bedtimes have been her routine for at least a month now since her naps have been on and off. My concern is she may be sleeping too much at night, thereby encroaching into her day sleep. Is there any validity in this concern? Or do you think that she is incurring sleep deprivation severe enough to slow her cognitive development?
MW says:
October 1
“The thought of her delayed development due to lack of a day sleep is filling me with crushing anxiety.”
“do you think that she is incurring sleep deprivation severe enough to slow her cognitive development?”
Because of her previous great sleeping and current great night sleep, do not worry about any permanent harm.
Please describe in detail her behavior and mood when alone (no screens or parental interaction) at specific times during the middle of the day and early afternoon at the times when she previously napped.
Please describe in detail how you have approached the nap drill in your attempts to get a nap, that is exactly what you are doing in attempt to get a nap.
Anonymous says:
October 1
Thank you, I will gladly share the details requested:
Behavior and mood when alone: she is generally calm and rambunctious. after her post-naptime snack she wanders around her play area and looks for toys to play with, books to read. the only thing that sets her off is if she is denied certain objects that she gets hold of (e.g. sharpies, phones, tv remotes). at her age, she is not allowed any exposure to screens or digital devices.
Nap drill: 30 minutes prior to her putting her down at 12pm, she is brought to her room, the white noise turns on, blackout curtains close, she changes into her sleepwear, I read to her until 1155am, whereupon the lights go off. The room is pitch black thanks to the $1000 investment I made in blackout curtains. she is rocked for a few brief minutes before being put down in her crib, always while she is still wide awake, at 12pm. it takes her 5-10 minutes to put herself to sleep. at around 1225-1240pm, she generally wakes up and with the exception of a few lucky days, she has stayed awake after waking up from one sleep cycle. when she’s awake, she babbles to herself and rolls around the crib. she generally doesn’t start crying until around 145pm. I only enter the room to get her up at 2pm.
MW says:
October 1
Please review “drowsy signs”; does she show drowsy signs before 11:30am?
Your description of “Nap drill: 30 minutes prior to her putting her down at 12pm” sounds more like a bedtime routine; please read The ‘Nap Drill’ (pages 289-297 in my book) and tell me if you are exactly doing this.
Anonymous says:
October 1
She does not show drowsy signs (yawning, fussing, staring into space before 1130am). At 1130am, she has just concluded her pre-naptime lunch and is just getting ready for her nap, during which time she is happily playing with a quiet toy or two while I am setting up her blackout curtains with the white noise on ahead of her naptime routine.
My understanding of the nap drills as outlined in the book are a choice of two approaches after baby falls asleep and the nap duration is less than thirty minutes – extending the nap by engaging in some intervention (shushing, patting, or rocking), or ignore and give him another 30 minutes. Failing that, abandon all attempt get baby nap.
My approach has been to leave her in the crib, no matter the outcome, from 12pm to 2pm, which means she is left in the crib for another 1.5 hours upon waking after the first 30 minutes of her nap, or the so called “Crib 90” method.
What do you think of this approach? When I have intervened in the past I have found that it leaves her fussier and more stimulated, while leaving her in the crib at least gives her some quiet time for the scheduled nap period.
MW says:
October 1
If “She does not show drowsy signs (yawning, fussing, staring into space before 1130am).” why do you attempt to nap her then?
Depending on night sleep and individual variation, most mid-day naps start between 12-2pm with variable lengths. Is it possible that she would nap better with a later nap time?
Anonymous says:
October 1
Hi Dr Weissbluth,
That is the million dollar question! I have been going by conventional wisdom which says that toddlers at her age range (15-18 month) should be put down by 12pm for their midday nap, which is around 5-6 hours after her morning wake up. This is also what is considered the “normal” wake window for that age range. I definitely think she needs a later nap time, but how late without pushing her past the point of catching her second wind? What would you do if you were in my shoes, trying to figure out the ideal time for a midday nap?
MWsays:
October 1
As you know from reading my book, “I have been going by conventional wisdom which says that toddlers at her age range (15-18 month) should be put down by 12pm for their midday nap, which is around 5-6 hours after her morning wake up. This is also what is considered the “normal” wake window for that age range.” is absolutely contrary to everything I write.
I gently suggest that if you wish to follow other’s advice, please do; if you wish to follow the information in my book, Blog, and Instagram reels, please do. It’s your choice.
Anonymous says:
October 2
Hi Dr Weissbluth,
A quick update: I had success putting my daughter down for her nap by following her tired cues and putting her down at 1245pm, versus her usual nap of 12-1230pm (6.5 hours after morning wakeup). You are absolutely right that a 5 hour wake window does not apply to all infants/toddlers. Thank you very very much for the advice and help!
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
I want to ask if I am interpreting correctly after reading this.
It is possible to put a baby of this age range down too early for a nap which leads to the baby not napping at all or for a short interval.
Is that correct? I always see overtiredness as a huge thing to avoid and you point that out all the time here and in your book. Would you consider this situation as “undertired”?
Yes to both questions.
A common problem is not watching for drowsy signs leading to pre-sleep arousal from sleep times that are too late. In consultations and in my Blog questions, this is quite common.
I don’t know how common it is to rigidly watch bogus clock-based “wake windows” and wind up putting a baby down too early. Do you think in the social media sleep universe this happens often?
As that mother wrote,”She needed 6.5 past her morning wake up time before being tired enough for her nap, well above the conventionally-recognized 5 hour wake window for toddlers aged 15-18 months. Following her cues, she began taking longer, more restful naps. This experience highlighted the importance of individualizing sleep routines and trusting parental intuition over rigid schedules. While the one-size-fits-all approach of wake window schedules are often touted, , my personal experience showed that paying attention to my child’s sleep needs was more important and effective.”
Amen to that.
Do you agree?
Most advice I see online outside of your methods is goodhearted, but its tailored as one size fits all and does not go as deep and evidence based as your explanations. The wake window term is widely used on social media and especially in what I consider fake “sleep coaches”, so a lot of parents get hooked on these notions.
I also dont think many parents know or care much about their children’s sleep. And even if they do, they look at short videos from self proclaimed sleep experts/coaches. They’re usually wrong in what they say. Sad to say it, but to most parents short video “quick fixes” appeal more than actually reading a well planned, researched, and written book on children’s sleep.
Generally I feel like overtiredness is more of an issue for parents than “undertiredness”.
Luckily I was recommended your book before my first child was born and we have done well with your methods.