If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
The ‘Nap Drill’ (pages 289-297 in my book) is a method to establish or re-establish age-appropriate naps after 3 months of age. It describes what to do when your baby is between 3-6 months of age and separately, what to do differently after 6 months of age. Here is a mother’s report:
Dr W.: At 7 months, I suggest that on Friday, start with super-early bedtime (5:30pm), do extinction or graduated extinction for night sleep, and do the nap drill (with your husband available for week-end support). Let me know on Monday how it went.
Dr. Weissbluth!
I thought I’d give the report. My son’s sleep has SIGNIFICANTLY improved. He’s been logging an extra 3 to 4 hours of sleep in a day. Thank you! Here’s what my husband and I did:
We decided to do extinction with a 45-minute cap because our son has always been Mr. Sir Poops-A-Lot. We wanted to be able to check his diapers, and we thought that graduated extinction was too much to keep track of.
We also moved his bedtime up by 30 minutes and agreed on a nursing schedule (baby can eat every four hours at night if he chooses.) Only Dad goes in for diaper and hunger checks. Mom goes in for a feed if the baby is really hungry.
100% of the time since Friday we have put the boy down drowsy but awake and left the room for him to soothe himself to sleep.
Here’s what happened:
Day 1, Friday
Sam cries for 45 minutes. My husband goes in and does a diaper check. It’s the dreaded code brown. Husband changes the diaper and reports back to me. He’s ready to call it quits on day one because he doesn’t want our son to get a massive diaper rash. As he’s talking, Baby Sam falls asleep and proceeds to sleep for 8 hours straight for the first time in his life. Husband recommits!
I give him one feed (Baby is definitely EATING not comfort eating). I put him down awake and leave the room. He cries for 15 minutes and then sleeps another 4 hours.
Day 2, Saturday
Nap 1: Baby cries for 20 minutes then sleeps for 30 minutes. Woke up from a bowel movement. Rotten luck for the kid.
Nap 2: Baby cries for 20 minutes then sleeps for 2 hours!
Nap 3: Cries for 15 minutes then sleeps for 30 minutes
Night sleep: Baby cries for 40 minutes then sleeps until 2am. I give him one feed (Baby is definitely EATING not comfort eating). I put him down awake and left the room. Baby wakes at 4am then falls back asleep after 15 minutes of crying. Sleeps until 6:30am
Day 3, Sunday
Nap 1: Cries whole hour. No nap
Nap 2: Cries 30 minutes then falls asleep for an hour.
Nap 3: Cries 15 minutes and sleeps 45 minutes.
Night: Cries 20 minutes then falls asleep until 2 a.m. I give him one feed. I put him down awake and left the room. Baby wakes at 4 am and cries for 30 minutes and falls back asleep.
Mom gets eight hours of sleep for the first time in 7 months.
Day 4 (today) Baby Sam is napping. Peacefully. On his own.
My son is in the 96 percentile for height. His favorite way to sleep is for MOM (his short mom) to carry him around the room until he passes out. He’s now too big to carry. We needed a sleep solution. This book’s advice improved my son’s sleep and saved my back!
Hi Dr Weissbluth, I had read your book since our first child and for our second child we decided to start extinction at 5 months old.
Now, our second child is 7 months old (~6.5 months gestational age) and has been falling asleep independently at bedtime (5.30-6pm) every night, sleeping till 5am-6am the next morning with 1 feed in between, and we are really relieved with the night sleep.
We started the nap drill at 6 months old and he is able to fall asleep within 5-20 mins after being placed in the cot drowsy but awake. However, he almost always wakes up (with or without crying) at around 30 mins into the nap. We tried leaving him there to go back to sleep himself but he never manages to put himself back to sleep after the 30 mins (we have waited up to 1 hour). He requires rocking to go back to sleep, and can continue napping an additional 1-1.5 hours if being held. During the sleep training for night sleep, we had contact naps to maximise day sleep so that he would not be too overtired to fall asleep independently at bedtime. I fear he has gotten used to contact naps to consolidate his naps. He is currently on 2 naps (approx. 9am-10am and 12.30-2.30pm, then 5.30pm-6pm bedtime). How do we train him to have longer naps by himself?
Please review subtle drowsy signs (Blog Posts 83 and 115X). It is possible that child #1 is distracting you from noting subtle drowsy signs and causing the interval of wakefulness before the naps to be a little too long.
Shorten the interval of wakefulness preceding naps by 10-20 minutes to see if falls asleep then. If so, you know, after the fact that presleep arousal was the problem. But if he continues to wake up 30 minutes into the nap, repeat shortening the duration of preceding wakefulness.
Keep a written record because this might involve some trial and error.
Does this help?
Hi Dr Weissbluth, the problem is when he wakes up around 5-530am (and does not fall asleep even till 7am), he already shows drowsy signs at 730am-8am. Do we offer a nap this early? I thought we were supposed to aim for 9am as much as possible so that the rest of the day is on schedule. sometimes the earliest we try for a nap is 830am, but as he wakes up around 9am, he is usually rocked back to sleep and held to try to extend the nap towards closer to 10am.
Similarly for the midday nap, he may show drowsy signs 1 hour after waking up from the mid morning nap but that is usually around 11am, which is too early for a midday nap, correct?
Please. read carefully pages 289-292 regarding the ‘Nap Drill’ because it appears that “he is usually rocked back to sleep and held to try to extend the nap towards closer to 10am.
Similarly for the midday nap”. Holding him for a contact nap is not going to help in the long run.
Here’s a suggestion based on his age (about 6 months) and my observation that the morning nap often develops before the mid-day nap and the fact that he is most well-rested in the morning from the pervious night sleep:
When he awakens in the morning, strictly follow the nap drill but only for the first nap. Try to stretch the interval of wakefulness so that this nap occurs around 9am. But 9am is only a goal, to avoid major presleep arousal (which would interfere with this nap), in the beginning, you might only get to 8:15 or 8:30am. But stick with it for several days.
Due to the variability of this morning nap attempt, all subsequent nap opportunities will be based on short intervals of wakefulness, drowsy signs, drowsy but awake, no contact naps, and no new nap starting at or after 3pm.
The hope is that eventually, the morning nap will improve because it is more in synch with his biological nap rhythm and if so, then the next sequential step will be an attempt to do the nap drill for a mid-day nap between 12-2pm.
Please be patient because this entire process might take several weeks, not days.
How does this sound?
Hi Dr Weissbluth, okay, I will try this and report back (maybe in a few weeks). Many thanks!!
Hello! My baby is 8 weeks from due date. Nights overall going well! Since three weeks she has been putting herself back to sleep after almost all night feeds with minimal night crying/soothing. We did extinction this week as she started bedtime resistance since she is so much more social. Was not bad!
For naps, watching drowsy signs works great. She can usually fall asleep within 5-10 min on her own. Issue is not falling asleep it’s staying asleep. Naps are often 15-45 min. Which is not enough for her to be rested. If i hold her she can sleep 2-3 hours. I can feel “nap trapped”. I am reading my way through these long naps. My understanding is this is normal and she will be able to stay asleep longer for her naps as she gets older?
We are having her put her self to sleep in her crib for her midmorning nap. If its short try to help bounce her back to sleep. Then to ensure she gets good uninterrupted rest I hold her for usually two long afternoon naps. I don’t want to hold her too much but this helping her get long naps prevents overtiredness and have a happy baby! I am just not getting much for breaks.
Please describe the drowsy signs that you observe before naps.
Usually I first see her slowing down with her talking and playing and stareing off more and then yawning. From ehat I can tell, she usually seems to get tired right at about an hour after being awake most of the time, sooner is her last nap was short.
If the interval of wakefulness is shortened by 10-15 minutes, she might have a longer nap and perhaps free you from having to hold her to get long naps.
While the focus at her age is on early bedtimes, I would try to also avoid having to hold her for naps to allow for more self soothing for naps. Try to get others, such as father on week-ends to do nap duty so you are not nap trapped.
Thank you I will try that today.
Last night was her best sleep yet! 5.5 hours until her first feed then about 4. So she chose only two feeds after using extinction. She is still sleeping now, luckily has never been an early riser! I am hopeful as her night sleep consolidates and as she falls asleep much faster for bedtime (as we had a too late bedtime we now know and she was getting a second wind) that will likely help her daytime naps also this week.
Congratulations!!
Improvement in night sleep will occur first because night sleep rhythms begin to develop around 6 weeks of age and later, around 4-6 months of age more predictable nap rhythms emerge.
Please consider writing a narrative report about your sleep adventure and post it here and I would post it as a Blog Post. Mothers would be more attuned to your voice than mine.
Hi,
Is it bad to do the nap drill for a 4 month old at the same time as baby getting used to not being swaddled? Because it takes them time to get used to not being swaddled, and also the nap drill is another new thing at the same time…
Thanks
Within 2-3 days, you can determine whether or not swaddling is helpful, so do it first and continue with or without the swaddle.
Then, begin the nap drill which might take many days of trial and error to get into a good nap pattern.
How does this sound?
I plan to stop swaddling no matter what. But baby had a hard time today and barely napped at all…but I want her to get used to not being swaddled because I feel more comfortable with it at her age and with moving her to her own room soon.
In your experience, is it normal for baby to basically not nap on day 1 of being “free?” I actually tried the nap drill for the first nap, but maybe I should wait and try again in a few days
Hi Dr. Weissbluth!
I really need some help with my 8 month old’s sleep… He is on two naps but I can’t get the naps to be longer than 50 minutes.. He used to average around 13.5-13.75 hours of sleep in 24 hours, but now I can’t seem to get him to 13 hours anymore and I don’t know if it’s because his sleep needs have decreased or because he is overtired. He is completely sleep trained. His bedtime is always between 6:00-6:30, and he wakes anywhere from 5:50-6:30. Occasionally he will wake between 4-5am and cry for 30-40 minutes before falling back asleep. I’m trying to schedule his naps for 9am and 1pm but usually he’s not able to make it to 9am. He’ll sleep around 40 minutes for his first nap and if he slept good that night he will wake up very happy and energetic for the whole wake window even with a 40 minute nap. His second nap is the main problem. I’ve experimented with putting him down at different times between 12-1pm and he almost never sleeps more than 50 minutes. I’ve tried leaving him in his crib for 20 more minutes to see if he’ll sleep more but he won’t, I’ve also tried going in and rocking him back to sleep and though this used to work it rarely does anymore, and when it does work it will maybe get 10 more minutes of sleep out of him. Although he’s still mostly good natured for the rest of the day, I can see he’s clearly very tired after a short second nap and he will have some fussiness, especially close to bed time. I’ve tried putting him to bed at 5:30 to see if it’d help lengthen his naps and while he slept until 6:30 the next day his nap lengths remained the same. Is it possible that since he sleeps 11.5-12 hours at night he’s having a hard time taking longer naps because most of his sleep is used up at night (Assuming he needs 13 hours in a 24h period)?
Would so appreciate any advice and help from you! Thanks in advance!
I will help you.
Please describe in detail when and how and for how many days you tried the %:30 bedtime?
Please carefully Blog Posts 83 and 115X and tell me your thoughts on how you might have inadvertently created his sleep problem?
Thank you!
on February 24 he fell asleep at 5:50 and woke up at 9:50 crying for 20 minutes. He woke for the day at 5:40.
On February 28 he fell asleep at 5:20 and woke up at 9:10 crying for 15 minutes. He woke up crying/whining from 4:30-5:30 before falling asleep again until 6:20.
Today, March 5 he fell asleep at 5:20 and woke up at 8:50 crying and didn’t go back to sleep till 9:25. I’m not sure why every time he’s slept before 6pm he’ll wake up around the same time crying.
I read your blog posts, I’ve tried putting him down when he shows drowsy signs but it seems half of the time he’ll sleep and the other half as soon as I walk into the room he’ll start crying and when I put him in the crib he will cry a lot and stand up, seemingly
not ready to take a nap yet… The two things I can think of are either that I’ve been putting him down for his naps too late or that maybe I am just expecting too much sleep from him..
I will suggest a sleep solution, but first, tell me whether both of you can or cannot commit to a consistent 3-4 day trial of extinction or graduated extinction. Because of the data you keep, I think you would see success in just a few days.
Correction* I thought he fell asleep at 9:25 but he actually didn’t sleep until 9:45
Yes, we will commit..
Start on Friday so Dad can do nap duty on the week-end and Mom pampers herself.
Do extinction as described in my book (which includes 1 or 2 feedings at night) for 3-4 nights; keep night and day sleep data.
Temporarily,use a strict 5:30pm expected falling asleep time (he is bathed, fed, soothed and he is put down drowsy but awake and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm)
Do the nap drill as described in my book.
No new nap starts after 3pm; if he is asleep at 3pm from an earlier onset nap, do not wake him.
Do not start the day before 6am as described in my book.
Later, when naps improve, the bedtime may be shifted to a later time, based on drowsy signs.
How does this sound?
In case it’s relevant: this morning he woke at 4:15. I went in and nursed him which usually puts him right back to sleep when he’s hungry but he didn’t go back to sleep until around 5.
That sounds great. Thank you! I’ll let you know in a few days how it’s going.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, sorry I am back so soon but I had a few questions. I want to make sure I am doing this right. My husband and I started today since he works from home anyways, and we want to help our son get good naps as soon as possible 🙂
This is how today is going: Thursday:
Woke at 6:20
Nap 1: in bed 8:55, cried and didn’t sleep till 9:22, slept for 40 minutes. Left in bed until one hour mark but he cried the whole time.
During playtime he was laughing a lot and very vocal and energetic but then all of a sudden got very fussy and clingy so immediately went to his room to soothe him.
Nap 2: in bed 12:20, fell asleep in less than 2 minutes and slept for 45 minutes. Woke up calm and quietly playing. He kept rubbing his eyes and would sit up and play with the blanket, then lie back down and suck his thumb. He kept repeating this for a while but since he was calm we left him in his crib until he stood up and started crying at 1:30. Since he was rubbing his eyes should we have left him longer? Or was it correct to go get him once he started crying, since it had already passed the one hour mark?
Since his second nap ended early and he very likely won’t take a third nap before 3pm is it ok to keep him up until 5:30? Or in that case should I move the bedtime even earlier based on drowsy signs?
I’ve heard in the past that you can cap the first nap at 30 minutes to possibly allow the second one to go longer, what do you think about this method?
Understood.
The Nap Drill is not easily summarized but what you are doing now is fine.
“Since his second nap ended early and he very likely won’t take a third nap before 3pm is it ok to keep him up until 5:30?” Yes, he will require extra soothing and distraction.
“Or in that case should I move the bedtime even earlier based on drowsy signs?” No, because a way early bedtime will result in a too early wake-up time which will interfere with his ability to get to a nap around 9am.
‘Nap Caps’ might be used sometime for a second nap to get to an earlier bedtime, but not now for your son.
Is this OK?
I actually live in Brazil for half of the year and won’t be back in the US for another two weeks. I already ordered your book but won’t be able to read it until I get back to the US, so all I know has been from reading your blog posts.
Yes. Thank you so much!!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth!
Here is how the past few days/nights have gone:
Thursday:
Night sleep:
In bed 5:30, he was very sleepy but cried hard and didn’t sleep until 6:00
Woke up at midnight to feed, did not sleep again until 12:40
Friday:
Woke up around 5:40 and was calm in bed till 6:30.
1st nap:
Looked very drowsy at 7:30 , put in bed but he cried for almost half an hour so husband took him out of room he played happily for 30 more min then slept without crying but only for 40 minutes. Left for full hour but didn’t go back to sleep.
2nd nap:
Put down again at 12:10 resisted a little but fell asleep quickly. Slept for 40 min woke up whining/crying/ would lie back down and suck his thumb. Left for an hour and a half but didn’t sleep
Night sleep:
Slept at 5:30 with no crying
Woke up once to nurse
Saturday:
woke up 5:40
Nap 1:
8:10 – Slept 23 minutes for first nap
Nap 2:
11:30- slept for 35 minutes
Nap 3:
3:30-4:10 – 40 minutes
Since his first 2 naps were so short it was impossible to keep him awake until 5:30. He simply just fell asleep at 3:30.
Unfortunately due to an event out of our control that happened Saturday afternoon we were only able to put him in bed at 6:30, he cried a little and didn’t sleep until 6:50
Woke up at 11:20, 40 min to settle back down
Woke up at 4:40
Cried on and off
Started day at 6
Sunday:
First nap 8:40 – 40 min
Second nap 12:20- 1hour 40 min
In bed 5:30 cried really hard didn’t sleep till 6:10
Woke at midnight, took 40 min to fall back asleep
Woke for the day at 5 crying on and off until I went and got him at 6
How do you suggest we proceed?
“Unfortunately due to an event out of our control that happened Saturday afternoon” means that you need to restart the trial; data consistently collected over a few days is helpful to guide you.
My suggestion is to focus on the first nap:
A. Try to stretch it so it begins closer to 9am, his natural nap rhythm will be an aid to help him nap better.
B. If you keep him up too long, he might develop pre-sleep arousal and not nap well.
A. and B. are conflicting goals so some trial and error will be needed.
The reason for doing this only for the first nap is because he is most well rested then from night sleep. Other naps are based more on drowsy signs.
Is this OK for you?
Sounds good, thank you!!
Does he ever appear to be short on sleep?
To what degree to you use drowsy signs for soothing onset for naps and bedttimes?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
I didn’t reply because my son got sick 2 weeks ago, and ever since his sleep has been absolutely terrible. One night two weeks ago he was up from 9pm-1am and it took 4 hours of us trying to resettle him for him to finally sleep. Every night since then with the exception of one night, he’s woken up two times and for either one or both wakings he cries a lot and it takes anywhere from 1-3 hours to settle him back to sleep.
Last night I tried putting him
down at 5 but he resisted and didn’t sleep till 6.
Please tell me what we should do to help him catch up on his lost sleep, we are all exhausted… thanks in advance.
How old is he? What was his diagnosis? Is he well now?
Please read about a ‘Reset’ (do you have the 5th edition of my book?).
He will be 9 months on April 3. First he had a cold and then a stomach virus. He seems better but not 100%.
Yes I do, I will read that. Thank you!
Here is a general observation to be thought of as a guideline (not a rigid rule) for common mild-moderate viral infections (not severe bacterial infections):
Common viral infections cause a variety of symptoms including fever and pain. The total duration usually might last 7-10 days but the acute phase often lasts 24-72 hours when the child is most ill. During the acute phase, your child needs all the attention you can give for soothing. When the acute phase is over, your child might still have lingering symptoms that are still present but not severe. Based on specific family circumstances, a child might have frequent viral infections or even back-to-back viral infections whereby a new viral infection is acquired before a previous viral infection runs its entire course (think day-care or large families). If severe symptoms are gone and the lingering symptoms are present but mild, consider a reset to get back to healthy sleep. Discuss this with your pediatrician for your own child.
Does this help?
Yes, that helps, thank you! We tried putting him to bed at 5:30 but he cried hysterically and didn’t sleep until 6:40. We are also lost at why for the past 2 weeks he is having these night wakings that take 1-2 hours for him to settle back to sleep. For the first week or so I can understand that it could be due to the illness, but it’s still continuing. Do you think this could be because we rocked him to sleep several times while he was sick? We feel bad leaving him crying hysterically when we’re unsure if he’s still not feeling well.
For clarity on how to proceed, please consider a visit with your pediatrician to determine whether or not your child has a painful medical condition and if so, treat your child appropriately.
If not, know that cumulative sleepiness is itself a painful condition (Please read blog Posts 84 & 86) and if so, extinction might be considered to restore his sleep debt.
Please let me know your thoughts.
Ok, we will do that. Thank you Dr. Weissbluth!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth!
I commented here a couple months ago asking for help with my 8 month old’s sleep, as he was only taking two 40 minute naps a day. Well, he is now 10 months and is still taking only two 40 min naps a day – occasionally one of them will be 50 minutes.
He was sick back to back for about a month, and after that we implemented what you had advised about putting him to bed at 5:30 for a couple nights in a row. It worked in that he woke up very well rested, but the problem is that when we put him that early he wakes up so well rested that it’s almost impossible to put him down for his naps. We will take him into his room and he will just whine and lean towards the door, and if we put him down anyways he will cry/take a long time to fall asleep. Today he woke up at 6:10, took his first nap at 9:35-10:20, and now I am trying since 1:30 to get him to take his second nap but its 2:30 and he is still happily playing. We put him in bed around 1:30 and he just cried on and off for 20 minutes and didn’t seem tired enough.
I am so lost on whether he’s over or under tired because I’d say he’s pretty happy most of the day but definitely has his fussy periods too. Also, he’s been having 1-2 night wakes where he’s crying hard but after we go in and comfort him he’ll go back to sleep.
If you could please give me some advice on what I should do I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you in advance!!
Are you still in Brazil?
Have you read the section on the ‘Nap Drill’ in my 5th edition?
Are you currently doing extinction at night?
Would you like to try again to impose on him an age-appropriate sleep schedule?
How often does he have fussy periods and at what time(s) do they occur?
I forgot to add that the night wakes aren’t every night, maybe 3-4 nights a week and sometimes it’s only one wake, not two.
-We are back in the US now.
-Yes, we are trying to follow what is written but the hardest thing is knowing when to put him down for a nap as sometimes he won’t appear tired at all. 9am was working for a few weeks but now it seems way too early. If we put him any sooner than 9:30 he will cry and not fall asleep until around 9:30/9:45.
-we do extinction at night and he falls asleep on his own no problem. For his night wakes we wait 5-10 minutes depending on how hard he is crying. If we do go in we comfort him a little and put him back in the bed awake and he will go back to sleep on his own, sometimes after crying a bit more.
-Yes, I would love to get him on a more solid schedule.
-It’s hard to say, it seems like they are somewhat random. Today he got very fussy around noon for maybe 5 minutes and then was fine. And then he got very fussy again around 4pm and now is fine.
To promote self-soothing, it appears that you are unable to do the Nap Drill or extinction (“For his night wakes we wait 5-10 minutes depending on how hard he is crying. If we do go in we comfort him a little and put him back in the bed”). Please have your husband re-read these two items and let me know if you can actually commit to a 3-5 day trial and if so, I will advise you.
We re-read the sections on extinction and the nap drill and can commit to a 3-5 day trial. We really appreciate your advice!
The first step is to put him on an age-appropriate sleep schedule with a temporary super early bedtime for just 2-3 days and collect data (sleep durations, latency to fall asleep, night awakenings) and then based on your data, I will suggest adjustments to his sleep schedule.
1. Control the wake up time: If he is asleep at 6:00am, wake him to start the day.
2. Do the nap drill with a nap at 9am and 12-1pm based on what happens with the first nap; no 3rd nap.
3. He is bathed, fed, and soothed and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm.
4. Extinction (including no feeding) until 6:00am.
The intent is to continue control the wqke-up time, the nap drill, and extinction for a total of 3-5 days but perhaps change the times based on your observations.
Please don’t start this if you cannot strictly commit to a 3-5 day trial with all the elements in place.
Do you want to do this? Can you do this?
We do want to do this and can commit to the 3-5 day trial, I just have a few questions first if you don’t mind.
1. Is the long term goal for him to have a 6am wake up time or do I just need to temporarily wake him up at 6am for the next few days? He almost always wakes up between 6:30-7:00 and if possible we would like to keep that time.
2. Is there any circumstance we could go into his room if he wakes in the middle of the night? It’s hard to know if he’s in distress or not as sometimes he’ll cry very hard.
3. On point 4 when you say to perhaps change the times based on my observations, does that mean it is ok if I do a nap later than 9 if he is still very alert and happily playing, and also a bedtime later than 5:30? Or should I keep the 5:30 bedtime for at least 2 days no matter what?
1.1. Is the long term goal for him to have a 6am wake up time: No
do I just need to temporarily wake him up at 6am for the next few days? Yes
He almost always wakes up between 6:30-7:00 and if possible we would like to keep that time. This is probably unrealistic.
2. Hard crying is ignored during extinction. If you are unable to do this, then father briefly (5 seconds) checks for fever (feel the forehead) or vomiting and if absent leaves without soothing.
3. No matter what, keep this arbitrary schedule for 2-3 days. Afterwards, looking at his sleeping, mood and behavior, adjustments to the schedule might be made.
Am I correct that in the past there was not a highly predictable sleep schedule for much of his life?
Understood!
We have always tried to get him on a more solid schedule, but it has been hard as sometimes I think he might have an “irregular” temperament like described in your book. However , it could also be that we haven’t been diligent enough. With that being said his nap times and bedtime around maybe 70% of the time end up being between 9:30-10, 1:30-2:00, and 6:00-6:45 respectively.
So there hasn’t been a huge variation in his sleep times. Our biggest chllanegr has been since around 4 months he takes mostly short naps, with the occasional longer one.
Maybe the driver of sleep irregularity and short naps is a bedtime that has 70% of the time been too late.
True. We will start the trial today and I will let you know in a few days how it’s going. Thank you very much!!
Hello Dr. Weissbluth!
This is how the past few days have gone:
Sunday:
Bedtime:
In bed 5:29pm
Asleep: 5:34pm
Woke up: 9:32pm cried hard on and off
Slept again: 10:20pm
Monday:
Woke up: 4:30am cried hard
Slept again: 4:40 am
Woke up: 6:00am (we woke him up)
First nap:
In bed: 8:57am
Asleep: around 9:08am (no crying)
Woke up: 9:48am
Second nap:
In bed: 12:59pm
Asleep: 1:04pm (cried)
Woke up: 1:50pm
Bedtime:
In bed: 5:34pm
Asleep: 5:40pm
Woke up: 9:13pm cried on and off slept again around 9:35
Tuesday:
Woke up around 5:20am and played/whined a little bit until 5:55am when he started signaling. Went in and got him at 6am. I think he had trouble falling back asleep because he was hungry. As soon as I got him at 6 he wanted to nurse and was very sleepy while nursing. Around 7/7:30 he started rubbing his eyes, yawning, and getting fussy.
First nap:
In bed: 9:00
Asleep: 9:06 (no crying)
Woke up: 9:51
Second nap:
In bed: 12:50
Asleep: about 12:57 (no crying)
Woke up: 2:17
I have a few questions: how do I know if I should put him to sleep again today at 5:30, or a little later, and if so, how much later?
Also, should I wake him up again at 6am tomorrow if he’s sleeping?
Thank you!
I suggest you stick with this schedule for only 1-2 days more.
Watch closely and record times of subtle drowsy signs.
Ok we will do that. Thank you for your prompt replies!!
Please carefully read Blog Post 83 and observe and record drowsy or fatigue signs before the 2 naps and bedtimes and the time when these signs appear. This will help make adjustments to his current sleep schedule.
Ok, I will do that.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
Sorry to be back here so soon.
Last night we put my son in bed at 5:32 and he was asleep by 5:37. He woke up at 2am crying on and off, fell back asleep from 2:30-2:50, cried again for a few more minutes and then fell back asleep from 3-5:30am. He then played in bed quietly until I got him at 6. It’s hard to say when he started showing drowsy signs today because he already woke up looking very sleepy and started rubbing his eyes/getting fussy around 7. My husband put him in bed at 9 and he cried very hard for almost 20 minutes straight, fell asleep around 9:20 and woke up at 10:02. I never remember him crying so hard or long before a nap, especially the first one. These past two days that he’s woken up before 6 he seems more tired than ever and is quite fussy, especially after waking up in the morning. What do you think could be happening? What should we do?
Keep the bedtime at 5:30pm because the latency to sleep onset for the past 3 nights was 5, 6, and 5 minutes.
But because “…he already woke up looking very sleepy and started rubbing his eyes/getting fussy around 7. My husband put him in bed at 9 and he cried very hard for almost 20 minutes straight, fell asleep around 9:20 and woke up at 10:02.” and the duration of the first nap for the past 3 days was less than 60 minutes, going forward, temporarily, start the first nap at 8:30am.
Depending on the duration of the first nap and drowsy signs, temporarily start the second nap at 11:30am if needed.
Continue to monitor drowsy signs and sleep timing as you are doing.
How does this sound?
Although this trial is only a few days old, in general, have you noticed any changes in mood or behavior?
Sounds good. We will do that.
He was in a happy mood on Monday, yesterday he was fussy after waking up and until his first nap, and then was fussy again starting around 5pm. Today he’s been fussy most of the day.
Should I try to put him down for his second nap at 11:30 today? Or starting tomorrow?
Today.
Ok. Thank you!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
Yesterday I didn’t see your message in time and put him down for his second nap at 11:50. Thankfully he didn’t cry but he didn’t fall asleep until 12:18, and then slept until 1:03. I put him in bed at 5:29 and he was so tired he fell asleep in 2 minutes. However, as far as night wakes this past night was the worst.
He woke up at: 7:10pm, cried a few seconds and went back to sleep a couple minutes later
Woke up 10:37 pm, cried for a few minutes and then just whined on and off , slept 11:14 pm
Thursday:
Woke up 12:03am cried on and off
Slept 12:18am
Woke up: 4:45 am
Fell asleep 5:58-6:12am
I was going to let him sleep until 7am if he would but he only took a little 15 minute nap.
I think he is waking up before 6 hungry and has trouble falling back asleep because of that. I suspect this because as soon as we get him at 6 he wants to nurse right away and eats a lot. When I was nursing him at 6 he dozed off a couple times- something he hasn’t done since newborn days.
Isn’t it preferable for me to go in and feed him quickly and then let him sleep until 6:30/7:00, rather than leave him crying/whining for over an hour and him starting the day exhausted? I remember in your book reading that longer night wakings are worse than multiple short ones.
“Isn’t it preferable for me to go in and feed him quickly and then let him sleep until 6:30/7:00” I agree with you. Going early in the morning to feed him might allow a continuation of night sleep and if you feel comfortable with this, abandon the notion of controlling the wake up time and let him sleep in the morning as long as he wishes. This will introduce more variability regarding the start time of the morning nap but if you are now comfortable watching for drowsy signs, go for it.
The conflicting goals are:
1. Keeping him up to about 9am and 12-2pm for naps allows him to nap in synchrony with biological nap rhythms for better quality naps.
2. Keeping him up past when he is drowsy might cause pre-sleep arousal that interferes with easily falling asleep and staying asleep.
Hopefully, by watching for drowsy signs and fatigue signs and keeping a written record you will discover a sweet spot where you are able to keep him up just a little without too much pre-sleep arousal so that eventually the morning nap begins around 9-10am and the midday nap begins between 12-2pm. During this attempt, a temporary super early bedtime is usually needed. But after naps are well established around these times, the bedtime might be a bit later, based on drowsy signs.
Does this help?
Yes, that sounds good. I will do that. Thank you!
Just a question, how many more nights do you think I can put him to bed at 5:30 without locking in early morning wake ups? How will I know when to give him a later bedtime? based on drowsy signs? I’m kind of worried that his early wakes have partially been caused by the early bedtimes.
The early bedtimes allow for maximum night sleep duration and hopefully allow you to get to a 9am or so nap time. This will then make it easier to get to a 12-2pm nap time. Then, drowsy signs will appear later and the bedtime soothing will begin later.
A possible complication with this approach is the ‘5:30 rut’ as described in my book. Please read ahead to be prepared.
Ok, I just read it.
Dr Weissbluth, thank you again so much for your help and time!! I really appreciate it. God bless you
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
I’m sorry to bother you again, but I am really lost and really need some help. My son a few days ago has started waking up between 4:00-5:00, and instead of crying will just lie around and talk/maybe whine a little bit. He’ll then snooze on and off until around 6:00/6:30.
I am exhausted as I have been waking up with him at 4 every morning and not going back to sleep as I want to observe what he does in this time. I’m also totally lost as to whether he is waking up this early due to under or over tiredness.
He seems tired when I go get him in the morning but I wonder if that is just because he’s been up and hasn’t slept deeply for the past hour and a half/2 hours.
He also seems ready for sleep by 5:30 but I also wonder if that’s just because his body now got used to that time or if he still is overtired.
So, I have no idea whether I keep putting him down at 5:30 or if I try to slowly push the bedtime later to get him to wake up later like he used to. I think if he keeps waking up around 4/4:30 he’ll just stay in this cycle of wanting early naps and early night sleep. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you so much
Describe in detail the naps during the last 2-3 days and your observations of drowsy signs.
Describe in detail his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement) between 4:30-5:30pm.
You are the source of his nurturing so please stop “I am exhausted as I have been waking up with him at 4 every morning” for your son’s sake.
Going back in and feeding him to help him sleep longer worked for one night, but after that he continued to wake early but just wouldn’t cry. So I didn’t want to go in if he wasn’t even crying.
Maybe I didn’t express myself well as I think you misunderstood me. I’m not exhausted from taking care of my son. I would wake up at any time of the night to care for him for the rest of my life if I had to. I’m exhausted from constantly trying to figure out what’s best for him in regards to his sleep, as this is my first child and I have very little experience. Seeing him awake in bed and not being able to sleep deeply past 4:00/4:30 is frustrating as I have no idea whether it’s happening because he’s still over tired or if it’s because I am trying to make him sleep more than he needs.
I do appreciate your willingness to help.
Here is how his naps have been since I last posted:
First nap:
In bed: 9:01
Fell asleep: 9:13
Woke up: 10:03
Second nap:
In bed: 1:10
Fell asleep: 1:29
Woke up: 2:09
Bedtime
In bed: 5:40
Asleep: 5:53
Woke up around 4:30 and snoozed on and off/played quietly until 6. A couple minutes before I was going to go in the room he fell asleep again until 7.
Saturday
First nap: this one had to be on the go and it was 20 minutes.
Second nap:
In bed: 1:47
Asleep: 1:51
Woke up: 2:49
Bedtime
In bed: 6:07
Fell asleep: 6:16
Woke up: somewhere around 4:00, snoozed on and off/played quietly until 6:15.
Sunday:
First nap:
In bed: 8:53
Asleep: 8:55
Woke up: 9:51
Second nap:
In bed: 12:34
Asleep: 12:41
Woke up: 1:27 (he cried before sleeping for this nap)
Bedtime
In bed: 6:24
Asleep: 6:37
His mood when alone with toys between 4:30-5:30 is stable. He plays alone, walks over to us from time to time and then goes back to playing again. He’ll start to get a little fussy when he’s getting hungry for dinner.
Based on his mood and behavior near the end of the day, you should feel confident that your son is sleeping well, even though currently he is “not being able to sleep deeply past 4:00/4:30”. Your sleep timing for naps is great and my only suggestion is to put forth more effort, if possible, to bring the in bed at bedtime to 5:30pm because sometimes “He’ll start to get a little fussy when he’s getting hungry for dinner.” his fussiness then is not from hunger but is mild pre-sleep arousal. If your specific family circumstances make this slightly earlier bedtime unrealistic, don’t worry about it. Again, please do not worry about his sleep quality after 4:00-4:30am. If you are using a monitor and hear his stirring then, throw away the monitor.
In the future, if naps lengthen and you see no drowsy signs between 4:30-5:30pm, play with a slightly later bedtime, for example 5:45 or 6:00pm.
You have accomplished a lot and need not worry about his sleep.
Your thoughts?
Thank you, that is very reassuring.
I have just a few questions:
So it’s ok if he’s “awake” from around 4/4:30 if he is just quietly playing in bed?
and it’s ok for him to be up from then until his 9 am nap?
Is the indefinite 5:30 bedtime due to his short naps?
I’ve heard of a method of giving the baby a later bedtime, such as 7pm, and waking him up at 6 or 6:30 in an attempt to get longer naps, because then they have “leftover” hours of sleep that can be used during the day. What do you think about this? Is an early bedtime more important than longer naps?
Please carefully read Blog Posts 8, 62, and 112 to fully understand the answer to your question.
I will do that. Thank you!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
If you don’t mind I would like to ask your advice again. About a month ago, as per your advice we started consistently putting my son to bed at 5:30. We saw a dramatic and quick improvement in his sleep. First his night wakings stopped, then he started consistently waking up between 6:15-6:45, then he started taking longer naps (though not consistently).
Right when we were at this phase of the naps lengthening we had to go on a one week trip that completely threw him off. As much as possible we were still putting him to bed at 5:30 during the trip, but a couple nights he wouldn’t be able to sleep until 6:30/7:00. His night wakings and early morning wakes returned, and his naps were all over the place.
Now we have been back home for one week and have been putting him to bed at 5:30 every single night, with a couple nights at 5:00pm. I expected he would bounce back quickly but he is really struggling. He is waking every night between 9-10 crying hard, and sometimes will take up to 2 hours to fall back into a deep sleep. He is waking at 5 again and sometimes cries really hard before naps, especially the second one. (We are still following drowsy signs for naps).
Is this some kind of plateau? Should I keep the course or am I doing something wrong? I think he might have been much more sleep deprived than I initially thought.
What do you do after 5:30 pm and what have you done regarding naps?
Read the section on the ‘Nap Drill’ in my book, in anticipation of perhaps implementing it.
We do full extinction and have been doing the nap drill.
We have a few questions about the nap drills. At the moment, we feel that our twins are in some kind of sleep regression phase. Night sleep is still good in quality and they are sleeping through the night. However, for one child the falling-asleep phase has become extremely long, around 2 to 3 hours, accompanied by excessive crying and difficulty settling into sleep.
I assumed that this is once again due to an accumulated sleep deficit. We seem to be struggling to recognize the drowsy signs in the evening, or she may already be in the fatigue phase. We are currently aiming for a bedtime of around 4:30 p.m., between 4:30 and 5:00 p.m., and we suspect that the issue is most likely related to daytime naps. These usually consist of one nap in the morning of about 45 minutes and one nap in the afternoon of about 1 to 1.5 hours, which seems to be far too little.
We are now wondering how to rebuild naps properly. We have gone through all the blog posts and focused on the idea that drowsy signs are the most important indicator and that we should rely on those rather than the clock. However, this raises the question: if we believe we see drowsy signs and put her down, but she does not fall asleep right away—which makes us think we may have chosen the wrong timing—is it advisable to leave her in bed and hope that she eventually falls asleep, or should we abort the attempt?
And how many naps are acceptable in this process? Is it possible that she ends up taking 4–5 naps throughout the day? How should we best structure or fill the day in that case?
I will help. What is the corrected age of the twin?s
The twins are nine months old corrected age. They are currently teething and have also developed several new skills, such as army crawling through the apartment.
Read Blog Posts 36,37,146, 147, qnd 233C.
The first step is to impose an age-appropriate nap schedule for 9 months of age for 2-3 days. Keep data.
The second step is to make timing adjustments, based on the data, for each individual twin, to optimize naps. This might be done on a week-end when each parent is focused on one child.
The third step is to balance the need for optimal sleep for each twin with the need to have a reasonable synchronous nap schedule for practical family routines. This requires trial-and-error and may be more challenging for fraternal twins compared to identical twins.
Shall we proceed?
Thank you for your advice. We have read through the Blog Posts (and are now shattered that none of our assumptions have any value ^^) and are now trying to work out a two-daynap plan for both of them individually, and then fine-tune it. We will keep you updated on how it goes. Many thanks!
At 9 months of age, about 90% of infants are taking 2 naps (5% are taking 3 naps and 5% are taking 1 nap). At 12 months of age, only 1% are taking 3 naps.
Therefore, plan for only 2 naps. Your goal is to have a nap start around 9am and 12noon-2pm with no 3rd nap.
Do the nap drill as explained in my book.
The conflicting goals are to stretch the wake period towards 9am to take advantage of the naturally occurring circadian nap rhythm that starts then as an aid for a good nap with the goal of not keeping them up too long and having pre-sleep arousal develop. As you stretch them towards 9am, they will require extra soothing. You might only get to 8:15 or 8:30am. It will take some trial and error to find the sweet spot between these conflicting goals. Similarly, think of 12noon-2pm as a goal; maybe you’ll only get to 11:30.
After a few days, you will approximately know how long each twin can tolerate wakefulness and how long each twin naps.
The second step is an attempt (perhaps over a week-end) is to try to optimize naps based on their individual nap needs.
Early bedtimes and extinction at night will be needed during this trial.
How does this sound?
I have a question about the time cap for the nap drill.
Back story: My background is in Applied Behavior Analysis and I have lots of therapeutic experience using extinction with kids with developmental disabilities for behavioral issues. We would never cap extinction because of the high likelihood of reinforcing the undesired behaviour being extinguished.
So when it came to nap training my 4 older children (at between 4 and 6 months of age) I didn’t cap crying for naps. I was definitely successful but I remember it taking weeks (its been 8 years so my memory is a bit foggy).
I’m currently preparing to nap train my 5 month old.
Your nap drill strongly suggests a cap. Could you explain why you don’t think its a good idea to do extinction without a cap for naps?
Nap rhythms develop around 4-6 months of age and are well established by 6 months of age. The midmorning nap and the midday nap at this age are each about 1-2 hours long. Using the circadian rhythms for these naps as an aid to help the infant take a nap suggests to me that around 9-10am and 12-2pm a nap opportunity should be offered. The ‘Nap Drill’ suggests a one hour cap on extinction for naps because I thought that if it were open-ended, the infant might eventually take a nap but the nap would likely occur in circadian misalignment with the nap rhythm.
Does this make sense?
You mentioned that “So when it came to nap training my 4 older children (at between 4 and 6 months of age) I didn’t cap crying for naps. I was definitely successful but I remember it taking weeks (its been 8 years so my memory is a bit foggy).” The most likely possible reason it took weeks was that the bedtime was too late.
Currently, what time does your 5 month-old fall asleep and awaken in the morning? Describe the mood and behavior of your 5-month old during the hour before falling asleep when alone with toys (if needed, do this for 15-20 minutes for 2-3 nights-no sibling nor parental interaction and no screens).
Are you comfortable with this?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
You are correct that my older children probably had a bedtime that was too late. If I remember correctly it was 7-8pm. For my current baby (age 5mo) I’ve been following your advice about the early bedtime and the results are miraculous!!! He sleeps from 5pm-6:30am (+/-30 mins). He often wakes up for a feed between midnight and 2am but his weight is on the low end so I’m not eager to drop this feed (his pediatrician agrees).
Because I’m already doing the early bed time do you still need me to do the pre-bed behavioral observation?
The morning nap is usually around 8am (+/- 30 mins) and lasts 1-2 hours. I rock him to a deep sleep and put him in the crib. He goes down easily if I catch those early drowsy signs.
Naps for the rest of the day are as needed and vary based on the morning wakeup time/drowsy signs. Somedays that means a late morning nap plus mid afternoon nap, other days that means a longer afternoon nap. No matter what, I manipulate the last nap so it doesn’t disrupt the early bedtime.
Thank you for these details and the information about your husband. Because of the early bedtimes that you have already established, forget the pre-bedtime behavioral observations. Most likely, over the next several weeks, he will develop a mid-morning nap close to 9am and a regular mid-day nap between 12-2pm +/_ a third irregular/brief nap that starts before 3pm. I don’t think the nap drill is needed because he is sleeping so well at night.
My sincere goal is to raise awareness of accurate, research-based information about children’s sleep, so that more families can find their way to restful nights and calmer days. You are now on the right path. Please read Blog Posts 247A-C to understand how you are helping him build a better brain; more than a million new nerve connections are made during every second of healthy sleep!
To help encourage other parents, would you consider writing a narrative account of your sleep journey and posting it here as a comment? I would use it as a Blog Post. Parents often find it most meaningful to hear from other parents — what the problem looked like, what you tried, what worked, and how your family came through it. If you are willing, please include the role the father played, as father involvement is one of the most important and under appreciated factors in helping children sleep well.
If you feel comfortable doing so, an honest Amazon book review would also be a tremendous help to families who are searching for guidance and trying to decide whether this approach is right for them. Your insights and experience gained from APA and the power of healthy sleep put you in a unique position to explain to GenZ parents that healthy sleep habits is truly cycle breaking
I wish you and your child sweet dreams.
Thank you for the reassurance that we’re on the right path! I have 2 questions about naps.
Firstly, you mentioned that the early bedtime will most likely mean we won’t need the nap drill. I currently rock baby to a deep sleep before putting him down (for naps only, night sleep is independent). I assumed that there would be a need to use extinction for naps because of the rocking crutch and that I would either need to do the nap drill or my previous approach of uncapped extinction. Are you saying that he may just not cry because he’s so well rested in the morning from the early bedtime? If that’s the case the early bedtime is truly miraculous!
Secondly, for the month of July our family spends most days at the beach with friends and family. We arrive early in the morning and leave late afternoon so baby will most likely need to take both naps there. I put my behaviorist brain to good use and cooked up a plan to teach baby to nap in flexible locations and I am curious what you think of it.
Over the course of the month of June I had intended to teach baby to sleep for a few naps a week in a little ventilated sleep tent with white noise in our backyard while my older kids play in the distance. I’m hoping this will simulate the beach environment such that we can maintain our July plans AND have a well rested baby. We have a private enough backyard so if there is a bit of crying it won’t be an issue for neighbours.
My one concern is that right now he is 5 months and the morning and afternoon nap are not fully established and as you say, they may not be established until he’s 6 months (the end of June). Is it even possible to do this type of behavioural nap training if the circadian rhythms are not yet fully established?
First, if this comports with your values, please consider beginning a process of shortening the duration of soothing in order to allow your son to develop some self soothing skills. That is, slowly move toward attempts at putting him down drowsy but awake. This will guarantee more consolidated night sleep in the future. How do you feel about this?
Second, please read carefully the Blog Posts regarding sleep and brain development. Then, during the month of July, for one month only, you will better appreciate the possible trade-off between family fun at the beach with your baby versus protecting his sleep and neurodevelopment. I doubt that you can “train” a baby’s brain to adapt to environmental stimulation as you have suggested. For example, shift workers never biologically adapt to circadian misalignment, they always pay a price.
Does this make sense to you?
Yes that makes sense! I hadn’t thought about it that way and I appreciate the feedback!
Also, as you suggest, I’ll start stepping back on my soothing. My sense is that he could be ready to self sooth pretty easily for the first nap of the day because he has a stillness about him when I sooth him thats not yet present for other naps in the day.
“he could be ready to self sooth pretty easily for the first nap of the day because he has a stillness about him when I sooth him thats not yet present for other naps in the day” suggests that you will be more successful if you shorten the duration of wakefulness before all the other naps by 10-20 minutes to prevent pre-sleep arousal. It is likely that the older children sometimes naturally distract you from noticing drowsy signs in your baby.
How does this sound?
As you advised I started putting the baby down for his naps with minimal soothing today and the results are very encouraging!
He fell asleep right away for the morning nap. He woke after 30 mins but was in and out of sleep for the next hour. No crying though, just a bit of mild fussing and murmuring.
For the afternoon nap he went down easily and has been asleep for an hour so far!
The early bedtime is truly miraculous!