If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
Here is the mother’s narrative report:
“Establishing night sleep, early bedtimes and naps.
We did full extinction for our three and a half month old and were successful teaching her to self soothe at night. Whilst we were establishing her night sleep we chose to do what we called ‘naps by any means necessary’, i.e. place into her crib asleep or allow her to sleep on one of us for her mid afternoon nap. As Dr Weissbluth says, sleep begets sleep and night sleep develops before naps. We were soon in a rhythm of successful self-soothing at night with usually one or two wake ups a night for feeding. However bedtimes were still late, between 9 and 10, and we just couldn’t get her to go to sleep when we tried for 6-7.
It took a lot of work over a number of weeks, but we were able to gradually bring her bedtime forward in increments of about 30 minutes until she was routinely going to sleep between 6 and 7. We did this by paying meticulous attention to wake windows and nap times to get the timing right, as well as her drowsy signs. So much work! But worth it. Once an early bedtime was established we started nap drills for the midmorning and midday naps and now that she’s six months those are also well established. The reality of family life is that we aren’t always perfect at spotting her drowsy signs, or we’re a bit late and she gets a bit tired. But her routine is now so well established that she generally self-soothes without much fuss for those first two naps of the day, and reliably goes to sleep between 6 and 7.
Since about the age of 5 months she’s been waking maximum once a night to feed. We did notice that on the occasions she woke at 10pm ish and fed that she’d sleep right through until 6-7am. We now dream feed her when she’s in a deep sleep around 9:30-10, and she sleeps through about 50-75% of the time.
To all this I’d like to add that my husband’s support was key, as I was so sleep deprived at the start of our journey it was hard to formulate a plan from the book. Having someone else to help with making a plan, learning drowsy signs, timing of naps and how to modify things as we progressed was key. “Many hands” really is important!
We are so grateful to Dr Weissbluth for his expertise. Studying his book and being able to ask some questions via the blog has been instrumental and we are a happy, well rested family.
Forever grateful.”
Here is our email exchange:
Laura dN says:
July 26
Hello Dr Weissbluth,
Your book has been a godsend. My 16 week old is sleeping well at night, waking only once or twice a night to feed and she is learning self-soothing skills.
With a *lot* of effort, over the last month we’ve managed to move her bedtime from around 10pm to around 8:30. This has been hard though due to timing the ending of her last nap (we try to have her awake no longer than two hours at a time) and her anticipated bedtime. We get her up by 7am if she’s not awake on her own.
She hasn’t responded well to attempts to bring her bedtime earlier too abruptly – it’s just a fight and she ends up falling asleep at her usual time instead. Bringing it forward by 15mins a week is as good as it gets for now.
My question is does this all need to be taking as long as it is? I’d like to have her in bed by at least 7 (earlier if you advise it) is there another way to do it other than very very slowly?
MW says:
July 26
Why do you wake her at 7am if she’s not awake on her own?
Laura dN says:
July 27
I remembered your book suggested waking them up in order that they can have their mid-morning nap. Maybe I misunderstood though?
MW says:
July 27
Yes to help naps and perhaps you are doing this in conjunction with trying to move the bedtime earlier. Understood.
At 4-6 months a mid-morning and mid-day dap develops +/- a third nap. What is her current nap schedule?
At her age, it is possible that you are mistaking a bedtime of 5:30-6:30 as a nap time. How does she behave around that time?
Laura dN says:
August 4
Thank you for your response Dr Weissbluth. Her nap schedule is still developing but if she wakes at 7 she has a fairly reliable nap around 9 where she sleeps for usually an hour but sometimes more than two. We try to have a nap around 12ish but it depends on her previous nap wakeup time. The third nap is harder to achieve and often involves her sleeping on one of us (we’re stationary) and it’s start time is variable.
Based on your suggestion we’ve achieved a 7pm bedtime but she now is awake and ready to start the day at 5am (!), sometimes waking to nurse once before that. We’ve been in a heatwave which has affected her sleep so I’m going to give it some time to see if I can get her to sleep later in the morning. The couple times I’ve tried she’s just been wide awake squawking for an hour or more before I give up and start the day. For her this is unusual as she reliably falls asleep quickly after night time nursing.
She’s a lovely, easy tempered baby but she keeps me on my toes!
MWsays:
August 4
“The third nap is harder to achieve and often involves her sleeping on one of us (we’re stationary) and it’s start time is variable.”
Sometimes a “3rd nap” is actually a super early (5:30pm) biological bedtime. Perhaps giving me more information about the timing and duration of the 3rd nap might clarify what is going on. Because sleep begets sleep, often an earlier bedtime produces a later wake-up time in young babies.
Laura dN says:
August 8
Thank you again Dr. Weissbluth for your response. She tends to be a brief napper and we stick to your ‘1-2 hours is a ceiling not a floor’ rule. Naps typically last about 45 minutes (with the occasional unpredictable 2 hour nap). Usually awake between 6-7am, first nap about 9 (earlier if early wake up), second at 12, third at 3 (although sometimes earlier depending on timing and length of the first 2 naps). The third nap rarely starts past 3 unless she had some sort of epic long naps earlier in the day which set back her cycle which isn’t too common. We don’t let her sleep past 4pm as a general rule as you’ve suggested. We have an established bedtime routine (short bath/lullabies/feeding and either falls asleep feeding or put down drowsy but awake when done feeding) which starts about 6-615 which usually has her asleep around 7.
The 5am wake up is what we’re hoping to change – given the theme seems to be to aim for earlier bedtimes leads to later wake ups, I’m guessing we should keep pushing her bedtime earlier? How should that affect the timing of her wake up from the afternoon nap?
MW says:
August 8
Because her naps “typically last about 45 minutes” and “The third nap rarely starts past 3” I suggest that you read carefully Blog Posts 9, 83, and 115X. Look closely for subtle drowsy signs between 4-5pm. Due to nap variability, the bedtime may vary but earlier is better. Or, just try a strict 5:30pm lights out (she has been bathed, fed, and soothed and you are leaving the room ‘drowsy but awake at 5:30pm) for 4-5 nights to see how she responds. For more information, read Blog Posts 159, 171, 172, and 204.
How does this sound to you?
Laura dN says:
August 10
Thank you we’ll try this for several nights and see how it goes. The review on subtle early drowsy signs was definitely helpful, we’re doing better with that. As an aside, I’m so bowled over and grateful that you’d take the time to help us troubleshoot our sleep issues. It’s humbling to be able to communicate with an expert who after 40+ years in the field remains passionate and caring. Thank you.
Laura dN says:
August 15
I just wanted to give feedback how things are going after your helpful advice around moving bedtime earlier and our concerns with her early wake ups.
Bottom line, they’re going great! Bedtime has been successfully moved to around 6 for the past five nights and she’s waking 0-2 times a night to feed. She’s mostly waking up to start the day after 6 which is perfect for us.
We’re now going to work on naps more as she’s a short napper, but even with that she’s doing awesome at night.
Thank you again.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
We have 17-month old boy that is recently having some issues with early wakings of 4:30-5am. Previously, his bedtime was around 7/7:30pm and waking round 6am. We were previously based in Asia and felt that we had a good routine where we would start the day at 6 or 7am (some days he would lie in bed quietly for an hour after waking at 6), send him to daycare at 8:30am and pick him up for nap time at 12 noon (sleeping 2-3 hours). However, after traveling for 3 weeks in Asia and then moving to Canada, we had a hard time adjusting him to a new environment and new schedule. During this time of transition, he didn’t have daycare to attend, he would fall asleep in the stroller at 10am for an hour or two while we were out and about and then have another nap at 2 or 3 again the stroller. Once we arrived in Canada, he had a similar schedule as we adapted to the time difference, with bedtime between 8-9pm for the first couple of weeks.
Now we are in the second month of our arrival and we had gradually moved up his bedtime to 7pm and most recently 6:30pm in the hopes of getting him more night time sleep. However, this has caused him to wake at odd hours (1am once, 4am a couple of times) that required us to intervene. We found that if we do go pick him up anytime past 4am, he will no longer sleep and would want to start the day and ask for milk. We try not to feed him until after 5:30am. During the day, his nap starts between 10:30 and 11am but it’s been a little more difficult to put him down that before. He is clearly drowsy and almost half asleep after the naptime reading, but when we put him down and leave the room he starts protesting. But he would fall asleep quickly (within 5min) if we go back in the room and pat him to sleep. His nap sometimes lasts 45min to an hour before waking and crying, if we pick him and soothe, he could sleep another hour with us in the room. Other times he is able to nap for 2 hours.
Our goal is to work toward a morning awake time of 7am and is currently trying to experiment with even earlier bedtime than 6:30pm to see if that will help. Currently, he falls asleep right way at 6:30pm, but we noticed that if we are out and he’s in the car or stroller, he falls asleep around 4pm on the way home and we would wake him after 15min when we arrive home. These brief naps haven’t interfered with his early bed time.
A few questions I have after reading some of the blog posts with similar issues:
1) He’s been averaging 9-10 hours of night time sleep and around 2 hours of nap time; is this enough?
2) With the early bed time, he could only finish half of his milk because he would have just finished dinner at 5:30pm. Would this cause him to wake early due to hunger? He is very fussy when he wakes at 5-5:30am and only calms down after he has had his morning milk.
3) His diaper has also been getting really full at night and occasionally would leak out, but from past experience this doesn’t usually interfere with his sleep when he was younger; would he find it uncomfortable now that he is older?
4) He also relies heavily on his pacifier to self-sooth at night, but this hasn’t helped him in the early wakings. It’s even a bigger issue if he drops the pacifier outside the crib then he definitely won’t be able to continue sleeping. We want to ween him off the pacifier but unsure to do that now or after we have fixed his sleep schedule.
Your help and advice would be much appreciated!
His entire sleep schedule is off. Do you want to correct if quickly or slowly?
“Currently, he falls asleep right way at 6:30pm”. When do you start the bedtime routine?
When there is no 4pm car or stroller nap: Describe his mood and behavior during the 60 minutes before you start the bedtime routine when he is alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement)
We start the bed time routine around 6pm with bath, some brief playtime in his bedroom, milk, and then reading before putting him down at 6:30pm.
60 min prior to bed time routine is usually dinner time around 5 or 5:30. He is not interested in toys at this time and either whines for food (even though he snacked around 3) or tries to open kitchen cabinets and play with things in there. Or he would asked to be picked up, but mostly to see whats on the counter tops and ask for things that we don’t want him to play with. When he’s a bit too much of a nuisance in the kitchen, we’d take him out to the backyard to play. He would stroll around and explore a bit. Overall, I’d say his mood is calmer and more subdued leading up to dinner time and gets a bit more excited when he eats (sometimes a bit fussy if he doesn’t like the food). After dinner, he has a bit more energy and seem playful leading up to bath time.
Last night was bedtime again at 6:30pm, but this morning he woke up at 4:20am. Instead of letting him cry-it-out, which hasn’t worked for the past week during these wakings, I went in his room, picked him and put him to sleep next to me in the bed next to his crib. He was asleep again by 4:25am and was able to sleep until 5:50am. However, I noticed that he had filled his diaper and had peed out on to the bed at 5am but I did not wake him to change until he started stirring at 5:50. He was so wet already that I did not try to soothe hime back to sleep and decided to start the day.
We do want to correct his sleep schedule and are open to both quick or slow options to see what is the most suitable for us. We are currently staying at my parents’ home so it’s not the ideal setup for a toddler and we will be moving and settling into our home over the course of the next month or so. It’ll be another change of environment for him.
“Overall, I’d say his mood is calmer and more subdued leading up to dinner time and gets a bit more excited when he eats… After dinner, he has a bit more energy …” is suggestive of pre-sleep arousal. Please read Blog Post 204.
Presumably, during the day, he has some alone time with toys. To more clearly understand what’s going on, for the next 1-2 nights, for 30-45 minutes during the 60 minutes before 6pm (or if impractical) between 4-5pm, enforce some alone time with toys and compare his mood and behavior than to when he is alone with toys much earlier in the day.
Is this OK?
Ok thanks! We will observe the differences between his 9am and 4pm alone play time and report back. As for the next two nights, shall we keep the same sleep/nap schedule and try whatever it takes to help him sleep past 4:30am?
Yes.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
We observed our son’s alone time with toys between 4-5pm over the past 2 days and found that he is more easily distracted in the PM compared to earlier in the day. The first day he was playing with his favourite water toys in the yard so he was more engaged and happy. Then from dinner time to bedtime he was calm and not fussy or happy. Today, he was playing inside but was easily distracted by the other people in the house. From 4:30-5:30pm he was more fussy and hyped up.
He woke up around 5am on both days with 1:15 of nap time from 11:25am on day 1 and nearly 2h of nap time from 10:45am. We noticed that he seemed overtired by nap time on day 1 and thus moved the nap time today, which did help him get a longer nap in. However, even with more sleep today than yesterday, he seemed to exhibit more signs of pre-sleep arousal today leading up to bed time. He was asleep by 6:30pm on both nights without any fuss.
We would appreciate any advice you have on how to correct his sleep schedule to one with a later wake time around 7am. Thank you!
“We have 17-month old boy that is recently having some issues with early wakings of 4:30-5am…However, after traveling for 3 weeks in Asia and then moving to Canada, we had a hard time adjusting him to a new environment and new schedule…Once we arrived in Canada, he had a similar schedule as we adapted to the time difference, with bedtime between 8-9pm for the first couple of weeks…Now we are in the second month of our arrival and we had gradually moved up his bedtime to 7pm and most recently 6:30pm in the hopes of getting him more night time sleep.” Please carefully read Blog Posts 84-86 regarding cumulative sleepiness that may have evolved due to travelling, crossing time zones, and perhaps a too late bedtime.
“From 4:30-5:30pm he was more fussy and hyped up…He woke up around 5am on both days with 1:15 of nap time from 11:25am on day 1 and nearly 2h of nap time from 10:45am. We noticed that he seemed overtired by nap time on day 1 and thus moved the nap time today, which did help him get a longer nap in. However, even with more sleep today than yesterday, he seemed to exhibit more signs of pre-sleep arousal today leading up to bed time. He was asleep by 6:30pm on both nights without any fuss.” His pre-sleep arousal from cumulative sleepiness means that in the very early morning, his higher state of neurological arousal makes it difficult for him to return to sleep unassisted so he has early morning wake up times.
Please describe what you observed by “more signs of pre-sleep arousal today leading up to bed time.”
I suggest that for 2-3 nights only you have a strict 5:30pm bedtime (he is bathed, fed, soothed and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm) to help repay his accumulated sleep debt. Initially, the focus will be on his mood and behavior in the morning and between 4:30-5:30pm to see if there are improvements. Do not cap his nap. He may get up earlier or later in the morning during this trial. If you see improvements in mood and behavior please document them and keep a record of nap and night sleep. Then, based on your observations, I will give you more suggestions focused on his early wake-up times.
Is his room very dark and quiet in the early morning?
Yes we blacked out his room, although slivers of light does shine through around the edges of windows and doors. We have a white noise machine in the room as well.
The pre-sleep arousal signs we observed leading up to bedtime were: 1) clinginess and asking to be picked up 2) short temper when he doesn’t get what he wants 3) hyped up running around or laughing 4) eye rubbing
We will begin the 5:30 bedtime today and report back. Today was a bit off as he woke up at 4:30am and could not go back to sleep. He was so tired by 9:45 that he crawled up on the couch and fell asleep. We made the mistake of not moving him to his room so he got woken up by noise 45min later and could not continue his nap.
Aside from not capping his naps, what protocol would you suggest we follow for his day time naps? When is the ideal start time for his nap during the days we experiment with the 5:30 bed time? Should we stick with one nap or allow a second nap?
An I correct that he is about 17 months old? If so, your goalis for a single midday nap which will become easier to stretch him to with the 5:30 expected falling asleep time. But there are 2 conflicting goals:
1. Stretch his nap time to be in synchrony with his biological nap rhythm for a good quality nap.
2. Stretching him to long might cause pre-sleep arousal and make it more difficult for a good quality nap.
Some trial and error might be involved to find the sweet in-between spot and in the beginning the single nap might occur around 11:00am or earlier.
Yes, he just turned 17mo. Indeed the sweet spot is a bit difficult to find right now since he’s waking so early and he recently can’t sleep more than 1:45min for his nap. Previously, we observed that he slept much longer if we take him out and he falls asleep in his stroller with 2-3h of nap time. He seemed to sleep better when the stroller is constantly in motion and there’s traffic noise. Not sure if we should try this nap-in-stroller approach again to see if we can extend his nap and therefore make it easier to stretch to the 5:30pm bed time?
“Not sure if we should try this nap-in-stroller approach again to see if we can extend his nap and therefore make it easier to stretch to the 5:30pm bed time?”
No, because the restorative quality of sleep depends on timing, depth, REM/NREM distribution, and duration. Noise, light, and motion sleep might cause poor quality sleep (for example mostly light sleep) even though the duration is long.
It appears to me that the 5:30 bedtime, with extinction over night, not going to him until 5-6am in the morning, attempting to stretch the nap towards the midday, the single nap, and nap drill for this nap will need to be in place for 5-7 days to see dramatic improvement. But as the nap improves in duration and moves towards midday, feel free to adust the bedtime to a later time based on drowsy signs.
Can you commit to this program for this long?
Yes we will give it a shot! To clarify on the extinction over night and not going to him until 5 or 6am; should we do this even if he wakes up at 3 or 4 and on and off cries until 5? He wouldn’t be sleeping at all during this time and it would make it difficult to stretch the nap till midday. For example, today he woke up at 3:15 so I went in and soothed him and he slept until 5. Should we continue doing this or just let him protest until 5?
“…today he woke up at 3:15 so I went in and soothed him and he slept until 5. Should we continue doing this or just let him protest until 5?”
Superficially, this allows him to get more sleep and thus seems like a good idea, but think about it. First, you are having your own sleep interrupted; this practice is not sustainable. Second, you are depriving him of the motivation and ability to return to sleep unassisted which is your long term goal.
I suggest that you make arrangements so that if he wakes up before 5pm, you are unaware of it so you can get more sleep. Set your alarm for 5am and if he is up, start the day. If he is not up, let him sleep in (but not past 8am in order to get a midday nap). Know that if, and only if, you are consistent, his early morning wakeful periods will go away. Can you do this?
How does this sound?
Yes, we can definitely do this. We had done this before when we first sleep trained him at 6mo but definitely lost this practice as he went through sleep regressions. Thank you for reminding us!
One last question on the midday nap drill for his age, today we put him down at 10:20 and he protested right away for 20 min before falling asleep. He woke up 40min later but we were unsure whether to pick him up or let him self soothe. Unfortunately, grandma picked him up before we made a decision. What should we do in these situations when he wakes up after a brief nap? How long should we let him cry before ending the nap?
Please read the section on the ‘Nap Drill’ for an answer.
Found the answer in the nap drill chapter! Thanks so much and we will report back after a week of implementing your suggestions!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
After a week of implementing the new sleep regiment, we are pleased to report welcoming changes to our son’s sleep schedule. Below is an abbreviated sleep log:
Day 1 – Wake: 4:30; Nap Start: 9:45; Nap End: 10:30; Bedtime Asleep: 5:30
Day 2 – Wake: 4:55; Nap Start: 10:39 (put down at 10:19, first day of nap drill); Nap End: 11:25am; Bedtime Asleep: 5:30
Day 3 – Wake: 5:25; Nap Start: 10:20; Nap End: 1:00; Bedtime Asleep: 5:38
Day 4 – Wake: 5:58; Nap Start: 10:48; Nap End: 11:22 (did not have his pacifier); Bedtime Asleep: 5:35
Day 5 – Wake: 5:19; Nap Start: 10:30; Nap End: 12:30; Bedtime Asleep: 5:50 (put down at 5:40)
Day 6 – Wake: 6:28; Nap Start 11:05; Nap End: 12:45; Bedtime Asleep: 6:15 (put down at 6)
Day 7 – Wake: 6:25 (per video footage – started protesting at 4:45; but asleep or laying quietly from 5:10-5:35, 5:45-6, 6:05-6:25)
His mood in the afternoon between 4-5pm has changed slightly. He dos seem a bit more energetic and less quiet, but is more interested in what’s grandma doing in the kitchen rather than his toys. He is still somewhat clingy but less so than before. Stretching the midday nap past 10:30 is still a bit difficult but he is no longer protesting the nap once we have the drill in place.
We started moving his bed time a bit later past 5:30 starting day 5 given that he’s having longer naps and waking after 12:30. However, we’re unsure if we are rushing the process since he is waking up at 4:45am during these 2 days, although not protesting as long or loud.
Should we continue the 5:30pm bed time and ignoring until 6am with no cap on naps? Or should we proceed with shifting his bed time later, and if so at what pace?
Thank you!
Congratulations! You have accomplished a lot in a short time.
Watch your son’s mood and behavior when alone with toys (no parental or grand-parental involvement or screens) between 4-5 pm for subtle drowsy signs. I think you will see some and conclude that you have rushed the process of moving the bedtime later.
“Should we continue the 5:30pm bed time and ignoring until 6am with no cap on naps? Yes.
Or should we proceed with shifting his bed time later, and if so at what pace?” Base the bedtime on drowsy signs in the late afternoon.
Please be patient. If you move the bedtime later too fast, you will undo your improvement by creating pre-sleep arousal.
How does this sound to you?
Thank you Dr. Weissbluth! We will proceed with patience and carefully check for drowsy signs and adapt accordingly. Your advice and guidance has helped our entire family get more sleep and spend more quality time together. Thank you so much for your help!
My sincere goal is to raise the visibility of accurate information regarding children’s sleep. To encourage other parents, please consider writing, and posting here, a narrative report of your sleep adventure (please include the role of the father) that I would use as a Blog Post or perhaps, only if you feel comfortable, an Amazon book review.
Certainly! I will put together a narrative summary and post it here.
A few observations after another week of implementing the 5:30 bed time.
1) it’s still difficult to stretch the nap time beyond 10:30 on some days. For a few naps he sleeps close to 2 hours, with one lasting 2.5 hours but then he has a couple of days where he only naps 40min
2) we found that he often wakes up at 4:30 or 4:45, protests for 15-20min in and off, and there’ll be a 20 or 30min of silence or no movement before resuming protests at 5:30 or 5:45.
3) for the days that he napped well, it’s taking him longer to fall asleep after we put him down at 5:30. He would do some light protesting and might be sitting or moving around lying down until 5:50 or 6 before falling asleep.
Is there anything we should adjust given these observations?
Has there been any positive changes in his mood or behavior during the past few weeks?
What percent of the time does he get a nap starting close to midday that lasts about an hour or more?
How would your describe your husband’s involvement in this sleep adventure?
“For the days that he napped well, it’s taking him longer to fall asleep after we put him down at 5:30. He would do some light protesting and might be sitting or moving around lying down until 5:50 or 6 before falling asleep.” This suggests that on these days, watch closely for subtle drowsy signs to begin soothing to sleep and maybe the expected falling asleep time will be a little later.
His mood has improved in the late afternoons and is less clingy. His mood is the worst in the hours after the two short 40min naps he had. Other wise he’s a pretty happy toddler.
He has had one nap starting at 11 where he slept 1:40 in the past two weeks. All of his other naps started around 10:30 because he usually start showing very obvious drowsy signs.
I’m pretty involved in this sleep adventure and I actively track his sleep log. My wife and I take turns in the morning to start the day with him so we both could get enough sleep every other day. Grandma would often be there to pick him up after his nap and we would be back home before 4 to wrap up the day to run through his bedtime routine.
So on days when he’s well napped ( waking up after 1:30) it’s ok to push the bed time back based on sleepy cues instead of enforcing the 5:30 bed time?
“So on days when he’s well napped ( waking up after 1:30) it’s ok to push the bed time back based on sleepy cues instead of enforcing the 5:30 bed time?” Yes, but err on going only a little later to prevent pre-sleep arousal.
I know that often he is drowsy around 10:30am but it’s still worthwhile to try perhaps a 15 minute later onset for this nap and after 3-4 days if naps are not worse, try another 15 minute delay for 3-4 days, and so forth until the nap is more consistently starting midday. Hopefully the super early bedtime will prevent pre-sleep arousal before this slightly later nap.
Ok thank you Dr. Weissbluth! We will work on pushing his nap time later toward midday and monitor the changes.
Apologies for the delay, but here’s a narrative of our sleep adventure with our son. Thank you Dr. Weissbluth!
When we first reached out to Dr. Weissbluth, our 17-month-old son was waking as early as 4:30–5:00am. His sleep had been disrupted by weeks of international travel, crossing multiple time zones, and moving from Asia to Canada. What used to be a predictable routine — a 7:00pm bedtime, 6:00–7:00am wake-up, and a long midday nap — had collapsed into erratic night sleep, overtired mornings, and multiple short stroller naps while we were adjusting. Despite gradually moving his bedtime earlier to 6:30pm, he was still waking in the early hours, often unable to return to sleep without our help.
Dr. Weissbluth quickly pointed out that our son’s entire sleep schedule was “off” and emphasized the role of cumulative sleepiness. He helped us see that what we thought was a reasonable bedtime was still too late, given his accumulated sleep debt. His recommendation was clear: commit to a strict 5:30pm bedtime for several nights, watch carefully for drowsy signs, and focus on quality daytime sleep with a single midday nap.
We began to pay closer attention to our son’s late-afternoon drowsy signs. Instead of waiting until he was wound up, clingy, or hyperactive — all markers of overtiredness — we moved swiftly when we noticed eye rubbing, quiet moments, or a shift in mood. Putting him down at 5:30pm felt counterintuitive, but it was the turning point. Within days, his pre-sleep arousal diminished, and bedtime became smooth and fuss-free.
At the same time, we worked on consolidating his nap. Initially, he was drowsy by 10:30am and we struggled to stretch him closer to midday. With Dr. Weissbluth’s encouragement, we implemented the nap drill: putting him down at the scheduled time, allowing for protest, and ending the nap if he woke up after having at least 30min of sleep. This was not easy — there were short naps, tears, and moments of doubt — but over time his nap lengthened, and he began to sleep 1–2 hours more reliably in the middle of the day.
The hardest adjustment was re-committing to extinction for early-morning wakings. In the past, if he woke at 3:00 or 4:00am, we soothed him back to sleep, thinking we were helping. But as Dr. Weissbluth reminded us, this prevented him from developing the ability to resettle independently and left us all exhausted. We made the difficult choice to stop intervening until 5:00–6:00am, even if it meant some crying. This consistency paid off: after a week or so, his wake time have shifted to his usual 6-7am and he learned to rest quietly for 15-30min before starting the day after 7am.
After around 4 weeks of transitioning to a stable new routine, the difference was dramatic. Our son now sleeps 11 uninterrupted hours at night and takes a 1–2 hour nap during the day. His mood has improved noticeably — he is less clingy in the late afternoons, more playful, and generally happier. As parents, we also regained much-needed rest and predictability,.
Looking back, what felt like small adjustments — watching for drowsy signs, enforcing a very early bedtime, respecting the biology of a single midday nap, and staying consistent with extinction — added up to a complete reset. We now better understand how pre-sleep arousal and accumulated sleep debt can undermine healthy sleep, and how discipline and patience can restore it.
We are profoundly grateful to Dr. Weissbluth for his wise, compassionate, and evidence-based guidance. His advice not only corrected our son’s sleep schedule, but also restored peace and quality time to our entire family.
Thank you!
Would you please be so kind to add a few words or an edit to discuss the specific role of your husband in your sleep journey and also, how you were able to persevere despite your own sleeplessness and stress. I think many mothers would be encouraged to stay the difficult course if they understood that it takes time (patience) and a perhaps a team to achieve success. Thank you again.
Hi! Our 2.5 toddler is waking up at 5:30am every day now. His bedtime is between 7-7:30pm. Any suggestions to help him make it past 6am?
Describe in detail his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no parental interaction or screens) between 5:30pm and 7-7:30pm.
Oops sorry I meant to add that he takes a nap between noon and 1pm for 1.5-2hours!
Hi! His behavior can be whiny and clingy and is not interested in one thing for an extended amount of time.
Read Blog Posts 83, 115X, 226C, 232AX, 232BX, and 232D regarding Drowsy Signs
Read Blog posts 171, 172, and 204 regarding Pre-sleep arousal
Tell me your thoughts.
Edit to add that if we are letting him play outside or if we are playing with him, he is happy!
He never seems to show drowsy symptoms. He can sometimes be cranky if we are not paying attention to him during the witching hour, but none of the other fatigue symptoms really apply. He is calm and happy during the entire bedtime routine and happily goes to sleep within about 20 minutes.
If he is “whiney”, “clingy”, and “cranky”sometimes, what is your conclusion?