Blog Posts 1–5, based on the United States of America Department of the Army Field Manual: Holistic Healing and Fitness, describe what really matters for your child’s sleep. If sleep is an important enough topic for national defense than surely sleep should be considered a serious topic for parenting!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, I’m writing in to report that we have had continued success with early bedtimes for our daughter. As a recap for other parents: our daughter is 17 months old. We did sleep training at 4 months and since then she has slept through the night. Recently however she started coming home from daycare looking very tired, but then would protest bedtime – scream-crying whenever we even approached the nursery, when previously she went down easily. We started keeping her up later — instead of 6:15-6:30, bedtime became 7:30 — because we dreaded the bedtime crying and wondered if more playing in the evening would help her get tired enough for bed.
Our daughter became increasingly tired, cranky and emotionally labile during the day. Her sleep difficulties bled into nap time as well and she started skipping naps when previously she would sleep for 2 hours midday. One day she literally fell asleep during lunch, mid-bite of pasta — but then when I put her in her crib she stood up and cried and would not go to sleep.
When we had sleep difficulties in the past, we would do extinction and she would fall asleep after no more than 20 minutes of crying. I tried extinction again one night during this rough patch and she screamed for 40 minutes after which I broke and went to get her. The next night the whole thing continued.
Finally we reached out to Dr. Weissbluth and it became clear that she was chronically sleep deprived from late bedtimes which was causing her to be cranky all day, take short naps, and scream at bedtime. We resolved to do cry-it-out with a super early bedtime of 5:15 and the first night it took 1 hour – it was incredibly difficult but at the end of it she fell asleep. The following night we again did 5:15 PM based on drowsy signs and she cried much more softly on and off for 50 minutes. The third night she fell asleep without a peep.
Since then we have been doing early bedtimes of between 6:15-6:30 and she has gone to sleep without a single cry. She wakes up happy, rested and ready for the day! We as her parents feel that we have control over our lives again, and can spend time with each other in the evenings after she goes to sleep, instead of wasting the time watching her scream on the monitor. In turn we wake up recharged and ready to be the best parents we can be.
You will hear all kinds of things out there about keeping your kids up later to promote better sleep – e.g. following particular wake windows and preventing early morning wake-ups. In our experience however, the early bedtime ALWAYS wins and leads to better nighttime and daytime sleep.
Thank you Dr. W for saving the day!
We’re big fans of Dr. Weissbluth’s sleep training approach and have used it with both of our children. Our first child, our daughter, responded incredibly well—we began sleep training at 8 weeks, and after just three nights (with a maximum of 23 minutes of crying), she settled into a great rhythm. By 9 months, she was consistently sleeping through the night from 6:45 p.m. to 5 or 6 a.m. without waking. Sleep has never been an issue with her.
Our second child, Des, has had a different experience. We began sleep training him at 6 weeks and stayed consistent for two weeks. His longest stretch of crying was 90 minutes, but overall, he picked it up and learned to self-soothe. Even now at 11 months, he sometimes cries briefly at bedtime (10–15 minutes), but he’s clearly capable of falling asleep on his own.
Des’s current routine includes two naps: approximately 8:00–9:30 a.m. and 12:30–2:00 p.m. Bedtime is around 6:45 p.m and he wakes up in between 530am-630am. He seems well-rested during the day and isn’t overtired. However, he still wakes 1–2 times per night to feed. Additionally, about once or twice a month, he’ll wake up just 30 minutes after bedtime and cry for 20–30 minutes before falling back asleep—it almost seems like he’s treating bedtime as a third nap.
Given that we followed the same approach with both children, we’re wondering:
Do babies respond differently to sleep training based on temperament or other developmental factors?
Are there any adjustments we should consider making to help Des sleep through the night more consistently?
We’d really appreciate your insight and any guidance you can offer as we navigate this phase with him.
Please describe in detail Des’ mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens nor parental nor sibling interaction) between 5:00-6:45pm.
Does the bedtime routine begin at 6:45 or is he asleep at 6:45 or later?
Bedtime routine begins around 530pm and he is generally asleep by 640pm. Desmond is happy and can play with toys by himself from 5-6pm. After 6pm, my mom generally will hold him in a baby carrier and we put him down around 620pm.
Observe him with no grandmother holding him for 2 nights only.
Carefully read Blog Posts 83 and 115X and tell me when drowsy signs appear.
Also read Blog Posts 140 (see item #2) and 190.
Ok thank you so much! Will report back.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth’s,
I wanted to share some observations from the past 2 days regarding Desmond’s sleep and mood
Day 1
Woke up 615am
Nap #1 815am-930am
Nap #2 12pm-210pm
He was playing and seemed to be in good spirit after 5pm. It’s a bit hard for me to tell if he is tired but he was definitely pretty active. He started rubbing hie eyes and became fussy all of sudden(crying) around 545pm. I gave him a bottle at 1750pm. He cried from 17:54pm to 620pm and fall asleep at 635pm.
Day 2
Woke up 530am
Nap #1 734am to 910am
Nap #2 12pm-1315am
Desmond was in a great mood today, and he crawled fluidly from point A to B for the first time (he’s 5 days shy of turning 11 months). I paid closer attention to his sleep cues. Around 5:40 p.m., he started rubbing his eyes again. I put him down right away, and he fell asleep within 5 minutes without crying.
A Few Questions & Thoughts:
Crying Interpretation:
I sometimes struggle to differentiate between separation anxiety crying and tiredness-related crying. For example, when I leave him briefly to go into the kitchen, he starts to whine—even if he seemed content moments before with his toys. How can I better distinguish between emotional distress and genuine drowsiness?
Drowsy Signs:
I find it hard to notice subtle cues like decreased focus, slower blinking, or reduced animation. The more obvious sign for us is eye rubbing. Are there other drowsy indicators I should be looking for at this stage? Any suggestions for how to observe them more effectively?
And do you think we should put his bedtime earlier than 540pm?
Thank you for all of your work and guidance—it’s been incredibly helpful for our family.
Please re-read carefully Blog Posts 83 and 115X to appreciate fully that his eye rubbing indicates fatigue signs, not drowsy signs. I know that you may be skeptical but even a ten minute earlier bedtime, over time might make a big difference. I also appreciate that with more than one children, it may be challenging but try to set aside a 3-5 day trial of a rigid 5:30pm falling asleep time and monitor latency to night sleep onset and sleep duration. If there is improvement, maybe the morning nap will start closer to 9am leading eventually to a slightly later midday nap leading to a comfortable slightly later bedtime.
“How can I better distinguish between emotional distress and genuine drowsiness?”
1. Specificity: His distress occurs just at the time when I leave him, anytime of day (separation anxiety) .
2. Timing: The behavior occurs mostly when he has been awake a long time (drowsiness).
3. Both may occur at the end of the day.
How does this sound?
Ok so the goal is to put him down before 530pm so he is asleep around 530? We can definitely try this!
He is bathed, fed, and soothed and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm.