If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
Young children who have healthy sleep tend to seek healthy sleep as teens and adults (Blog Posts starting at 242 and 243) because they remember how good it feels to be well-rested. I asked some former patients whether there were carry-over effects for their own children, the next generation.
Q: “Your parents received advice from me regarding sleep beginning when you were a baby and my question is whether or not you are more attentive to or more successful than your peers regarding healthy sleep in your own child or children. In other words, do you think that my attempts to educate your parents about your sleep when you were growing up might have any carry-over effect on the next generation, your own child or children?”
Meredith
“After becoming a mother, my father and I discussed my parents’ experience with Dr. Weissbluth’s sleep training when I was a baby. My dad felt that most parents of his generation were holding their babies, and to comfort their children to sleep almost exclusively. In addition, my parents’ approach using Dr. Weissbluth’s methods was also different from their parents’ generation who were encouraged to never hug their babies or show affection. However, my parents decided that Dr. Weissbluth’s techniques provided a moderate approach to sleep training, rather than taking an extreme position of overbearingness or emotional coldness towards the baby.
My mother-in-law raised my husband and his siblings with the more common approach that my own parents rejected by comforting their baby, allowing children to share a bed and not having structured naptime and bedtime. Therefore, she was skeptical and resistant towards the sleep training of our son. She didn’t appreciate the goals of family routines and healthy sleep. I further explained to my mother-in-law that we hug, hold and kiss Will during his wake hours, but that it’s important for Will to be able to fall asleep on his own. As a first time mom, I was very lucky my husband felt that I’m Will’s mother and his wife, so what I said took priority over his mom’s opinions for our family.
A year into using Dr. Weissbluth’s approach, our 16 month old son responds well to going down for his noontime naps, always ready for bedtime at 8:20pm, and generally sleeps through the night. When we say, “Nite-nite,” Will walks upstairs to his room, and is ready for us to put on his pajamas. We then ask Will to say goodnight to the fish in his aquarium, so he turns off his aquarium light and says goodnight to his fish. Next, we put Will in his crib with the lights turned off. Will continues to play in his crib, laughing and talking to himself until he falls asleep. It’s so beautiful to see how Will is so happy, and independent in soothing himself to sleep. I feel like it’s such a gift to show Will he can comfort himself without needing anyone else. Furthermore, based on my own experience, I believe the healthy sleep habits that Dr. Weissbluth discusses are important to Will’s emotional development, early brain development, and give him the necessary rest for his body to grow.
After speaking with my brother, he mentioned that they use a sleep time and naptime routine, but legit nurse their second baby to sleep a lot of nights and do whatever it takes to have the second child sleep in the same room as their first child.”
“I’m 38 years old.
I was still pregnant with Will when I began to think about helping him sleep well. I also remember asking you about how my routine of going to sleep at a regular time beginning pregnancy would help Will find his circadian rhythm. I remember you mentioning that my sleep schedule would impact Will’s schedule even being pregnant
I remember enjoying taking naps in the same bedroom as my brother when we lived in our two bedroom condo in the city where my brother and I shared a room. I also remember having an easy sleep transition when my brother and I moved to the suburbs, where we had our own separate bedrooms. I always had an easy time sleeping in my own room. For some reason, my brother would sleep in my parent’s bedroom for a period of time when we moved to Winnetka. During that time, I was 8 years old and my brother was 2 year old. I felt like having quality sleep as a kid allowed me the focus I needed in school, and the necessary rest for my body to grow.
My husband, Rob, navigated between his mother and my difference of opinion regarding Will’s sleep by deferring to me. In the beginning it caused stress in our marriage before the benefits in Will’s sleep training were tangible. Furthermore, Will sleeps consistently and predictably, which allows our entire family to get more sleep. My husband and I also found that we had time to ourselves both during his scheduled naps and due to his scheduled bedtime. My husband also realized that it was good for our marriage for Will to sleep in his own bed, which gives us time to ourselves.
My brother and sister-in-law were very supportive in Will’s sleep training, since they both used a form of sleep training on their daughters and are very routine with their daughter’s bedtimes. My sister-in-law would even watch Will nap sometimes when we were all on vacation. My sister-in-law would check in with me if Will was crying to make sure she was following the right amount of time to let him cry before coming in. My father would also watch Will nap, and was very supportive in following Dr. Weissbluth’s sleep training techniques. Our peers would come over when Will was a little over 2 months old. By then, Will would comfort himself to bed pretty regularly. Our friends thought it was really cool that Will would go down so fast, and we could all go back to enjoying some adult time during our evening.
I feel being trained early to comfort myself to sleep was the first step in training me to cope well and be at peace as an adult. I feel like falling asleep and being able to go back to sleep are almost like an early form of yoga training. In addition, having a routine with my sleep has carried over to me having a routine in other aspects of my life like working out, being super organized and goal driven in working for myself as an artist, and trying to maintain an organized household. I also try to get a good 8 hours of sleep and go to bed at around 10:30pm, which helps me think better, work better and recover from colds easier.
I work 10 minutes away at my art studio, which is out of the house. My husband works 2 days from home, and 3 days at the office.”
How old are you?
How old was Will when you began to think about helping him sleep well?
What was it that you remembered about growing up regarding your own sleep or your parents’ comments or behavior about your sleep that influenced you regarding Wil’s sleep?
How did your husband navigate between his mother’s and your difference of opinion regarding Wil’s sleep? Did this cause any stress in the marriage?
Please comment on reactions from your father, your siblings, or your peers regarding how you handled Wil’s sleep as an infant. Was it challenging or supportive?
Reflecting on your own childhood sleep experiences, has this affected you as an adult? If so, how?
In general, would you say that you work at home or out of the house?
