Sleep is serious business. If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial, from the point of view of the United States of America Department of the Army. A major point, emphasized by the Army, is that more sleep produces more benefits for Soldiers. Also, more sleep produces more benefits for children. Even small amounts of extra sleep help Blog Post 6. At every age!
Another point made by the Army Blog Post 5 is that “Soldiers [Children] best accomplish sleep extension [more sleep] by going to bed earlier.” The Army is clear about who is in charge: “Planning for sleep is a leader [Parent] competency”
In addition, “Leaders [Parents] also ensure that the sleep-wake schedule conforms as closely as possible to the brain’s natural circadian rhythm to optimize both duration and quality of sleep. Adequate performance is best achieved by Soldiers [Children] who consistently get adequate sleep on a nighttime sleep-daytime wakefulness schedule aligned with the brain’s natural circadian rhythm of alertness [or Sleep]. Both sleep duration and sleep continuity [Consolidation] are maintained on such schedules.” Further, “The human brain is biologically hard-wired to be alert during the daylight hours and asleep during the nighttime. Because of this, poor quality sleep results from night shift work [Late bedtimes or staying up late for schoolwork or social activities] even when the shift worker spends adequate time in bed during the daytime. Although such a schedule is unnatural for the human brain, some adaptation to a nighttime-awake and daytime-sleep schedule does occur over time, such adaptation is never complete. Soldiers [Children] always pay a cost in their waking performance and daytime sleep quality.”
An early bedtime may prevent baby and child sleep problems from developing in the first place. Even just a slightly earlier bedtime alone might completely or partially solve a sleep problem Blog Post 6 and Blog Post 7. An early bedtime might be especially beneficial because it is more aligned with the brain’s natural circadian rhythm. When the sleep period occurs may be as important, or more important, than how long is the sleep duration.
The brain automatically alternates between wake and sleep outputs. This is an automatic process over which we have no control. The ancient and powerful force behind this biological process is the rotation of the earth on its axis creating day and night. As the earth rotates, dawn occurs. First, as the sun approaches the horizon, dawn starts with only enough light to cause faint stars to disappear (astronomical dawn). Second, the sun is close enough to the horizon so that sailors can distinguish the horizon at sea (nautical dawn) but it is still quite dark. Third, as the sun approaches the horizon, there is enough light to see objects for outdoor activities (civil dawn). These three phases of dawn are called twilight. Next occurs sunrise and the start of the day. At the end of the day, as the sun dips below the horizon at sunset, twilight occurs again. The process is reversed and the same three phases of dusk occur, followed by night.
Like twilight (not fully day and not fully night), the drowsy state is an in-between state: not fully awake and not fully asleep. Also, like twilight, the drowsy period has a transition with a beginning and an end. Begin to put your baby to sleep as your baby starts to become drowsy. The brains in babies and young children also have drowsy periods followed by sleep during the day (naps). Healthy sleep occurs when the sleep is in synchrony with the occurrence of the brain’s output for sleep both during the day and night.
When you put your well-rested baby to sleep at the beginning of the drowsy period, because the baby’s brain is naturally drifting into a sleep state:
If your baby is over-tired because of a too late bedtime or naps not occurring in synch with daytime brain outputs for sleep:
The sleep solution is to move the bedtime earlier; just a few extra minutes of nighttime sleep makes a big impact Blog Post 6 and Blog Post 7. And watch for drowsy signs Blog Post 9 during the day for naps and in the evening for night sleep, which signals you to start soothing your child to sleep for a nap or for the night.
Hi,
My almost 5 month old still wakes up to eat 3 times a night. He used to wake up the first time not until 9/930. Now he has been waking up in the 8s. We did just travel a few weeks ago, so he might still be a little off, but I’m not sure that’s it. I wanted to train him to wake up only 2 times a night and to start by pushing off his first wake up time to sleep until at least 10 pm and then slowly later. Does that make sense? I tried letting him cry and didn’t go into him at all (extinction?) for 5 nights in a row, and he is still waking up way before 10 pm. I’m not sure what to do or if I have to try something different. He falls asleep completely unassisted. He doesn’t even use a pacifier (he sucks his thumb). I put him to sleep awake and he goes to sleep on his own.
What have you read about his sleep?
Please describe his day sleep pattern, how he looks at 4-5pm, his bedtime and bedtime routine, the duration and type of night feeding, the wake-up time, and the role of the father.
he is pretty happy around 4-5 pm, even when he hasn’t napped in a couple hours. his bed time is usually around 6, sometimes a few minutes before or after depending on when his last nap was. he nurses at night. he’s a pretty fast nurser so he usually is back asleep within 20 minutes or so. he wakes up around midnight (after that 9 something feeding) and then around 3 something. Or it will be around 1 something am then 4 something. he has been waking up around 7 am, but sometimes earlier. my husband is around to help if i need, but i don’t do bottles.
even if he falls asleep nursing in the middle of the night, he still ends up waking up when i put him back in his crib. and he’ll talk to himself for a few minutes and then go back to sleep
Sorry i forgot to mention his day sleep pattern. i try to hold him off until close to 9 for his morning nap. sometimes he only makes it until 830 or so. he sometimes only naps for around 45 minutes, but he has also napped for an hour and a bit. then i put him back to sleep around an hour and a half after waking up because he usually seems like he’s getting tired. his second nap recently has been longer some days. around 2 hours. but again, it can also be 45 minutes. he often won’t take that last nap toward the later part of the day around 345/4. he’ll just relax in his crib and not cry, but also not sleep
In general, at 5 months of age, nursing your baby around 6, 9, 12 and 3 overnight suggests that breast milk supply might not be quite adequate or some non-nutritive nursing is occurring. Another clue is that for nutritive nursing only, 20 minutes is more than ample. In either case, please share your thoughts with me, and if appropriate, your child-care provider or lactation consultant.
Also, what have you read about your child’s sleep?
Thank you. What do you mean by “read” about my child’s sleep?
Books, Blogs, etc.
I use your book, I have read some of your blog posts, and I’ve also just searched some things on the internet
Hi Dr. Weissbluth!
I’d love some advice regarding my son, who just turned 2 a week ago.
He has been sleep-trained since he was 3 months old. While we were living in Brazil, following your advice, he consistently slept from about 5:30–6:00 PM until 5:30–6:30 AM, with one 1–1.5 hour nap, and he did extremely well on that schedule for many months.
We then moved back to the U.S. During the first few days back (before we were home), he naturally shifted to sleeping around 7:00–7:30 PM until 6:30–7:00 AM, with 1.5-hour car naps. His mood and energy were excellent during the day.
However, once we arrived home, he took a 30-minute nap and woke crying. I assumed he had accumulated some sleep debt from the move and travel, so I returned to the 5:30 PM bedtime.
We then took another international trip that lasted a couple of weeks. Overall, he slept fairly well during the trip, although I’m sure he accumulated some sleep debt again. After returning home, the same pattern continued. Over the past three weeks, however, we have not been consistently using a 5:30 PM bedtime. Because his naps have become so variable, both in when they start and how long they last, we’ve had to adjust bedtime from day to day, sometimes as early as 5:30 PM and other times closer to 6:30–7:00 PM, depending on how the day went. Despite these adjustments, he has continued waking crying around 4:30–5:00 AM, sometimes returning to sleep and sometimes not.
The dilemma is that when we try a 5:30 PM bedtime, he often seems surprisingly alert. It frequently takes him 30 minutes or more to fall asleep (although there was also a few times on long nap days that even with a 7pm bedtime it took him about 30min to fall asleep). One evening with a 5:30 pm bedtime he even climbed out of his travel crib at bedtime for the first time ever (it’s a travel crib on the carpet, so it was safe).
On the other hand, when we put him down a little later (around 6:30–7:00 PM), he usually falls asleep much more easily. Sometimes he also sleeps later (until about 5:30–6:00 AM), but the results are very inconsistent. For example, last night he fell asleep around 7:10 PM, woke crying hard at 3:55 AM, but with a few minutes of rocking went back to sleep until 5:45 AM. A few nights earlier, he fell asleep around 7:30 PM and slept until 6:00 AM, waking happy and calm. That is honestly the only happy, calm morning I can remember in over a month.
His naps have also become very difficult. Over the past several days, he’ll sometimes put himself in bed and tell us he’s ready to sleep. He’ll lie quietly for about 10 minutes, then gradually become restless, start whining or crying, and sometimes climb out of the crib. Yesterday I had to go in and gently sing or rub his back for him to fall asleep which is very unusual for him. He also frequently wakes after about 35–40 minutes crying, and sometimes I can help him fall back asleep, but other times he simply can’t, even though he still looks very tired. I’ve been trying nap times anywhere between 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM, depending on his sleepy cues.
What confuses me is that, despite all of this, he’s generally very happy and energetic during the day. He rarely seems miserable or excessively tired, even after a short nap or an early wake.
Because of the variability in both his naps and bedtime, it’s been very difficult to know whether he truly needs an earlier schedule to recover from accumulated sleep debt, or whether he’s naturally transitioning to a later circadian rhythm now that he’s 2 years old. I’m hesitant to move bedtime and naps later if he’s actually overtired, but I’m also wondering whether continuing to aim for very early bedtimes is now working against him.
Do you think this sounds more like accumulated sleep debt, a circadian shift related to age, or something else? Would you continue trying for the earlier 5:30 PM bedtime, or begin shifting both bedtime and nap later?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you so much!
Describe what has happened recently with his wake-up time in the morning.
“Do you think this sounds more like accumulated sleep debt-YES
a circadian shift related to age-NO
It has been very variable but the latest he has woken up in the past week was about 5 nights ago. He woke at 6am after a 7:30 pm asleep bedtime. However the night next he slept at 7:18 pm and woke the next day crying hard at 5:30am. The next night I put him in bed at 5:20 pm. He was restless and climbed out of his crib around 5:35 pm. I went and put him back and he fell asleep around 6pm, woke up the next morning crying hard at 4:40 am and wasn’t able to fall back asleep.
Last night he slept at 7:10 pm and woke crying hard at 3:50am, but then fell back asleep until 5:45 am.
Do you have any trips or activities planned for the next few weeks that might disrupt a restorative sleep program to get him back on track?
The 6am wake was the only happy wake with no crying
No, we will be home.
To repay the accumulated sleep debt, it might take weeks of rigid scheduling, during which, there will be many steps forward and backwards…feeling frustrated will be normal. Please take a sleep-first scheduling approach to daily activities so that you can approach 100% consistency during this program so that he will recover faster. The idea is to impose upon him an age appropriate sleep schedule that is modified for his present sleep debt. Think back when he was napping at his best. Choose that mid-day time for a nap every day, use the ‘Nap Drill’ as discussed in my book. Be rigid about the time of this nap. Because naps will vary from day-to-day, the bedtime will also vary but it needs to temporarily be earlier to repay his sleep debt. Based on the duration of his nap and how he looks between 4-5 pm (put him alone with toys-no screens nor parental interaction nor sibling interaction- for 10-15 minutes) to monitor drowsiness versus pre-sleep arousal and choose an expected falling asleep time between 5:30-6:30pm. He is bathed , dressed for sleep, fed, soothed, and you are leaving the room between 5:30-6:30pm. Extinction over night. Do not go to him in the morning before 6:30-7:00am. Use a crib tent if he climbs out. Start this on a Saturday and have the father do all the bedtime and nap duty for the weekend; the more the father is involved, the faster you will see improvement…usually. Keep a sleep diary and report back. How does this sound?
That sounds good, we will do that. Thank you! So just to be clear, no matter the wake up time, keep the nap at the same time every day?
There are two competing goals:
1.Keep him up to synchronize the nap with his circadian nap rhythm for better naps.
2.Keeping him up too long causes pre-sleep arousal that interferes with good naps.
So your goal is to maintain his best nap timing but sometimes this is counter productive when he wakes up way too early and then the nap might have to start earlier. Trial and error might be needed to find the sweet spot that works best.
There is a Blog Post (published or to be published?) from another mother who went through this and although it took a month, there was full recovery. Variables that might affect the recovery duration are parental consistency and father involvement.
Does this make sense to you?
Yes, that makes sense. My husband is a wonderful help so hopefully we can reach full recovery sooner. We will start today and I will report back in a week to share how things are going.
Thank you!!
Hi Dr Weissbluth! Here’s how the last 7 days have gone. Just a few notes: we got the idea from your book to buy a hatch alarm light to help signal a wake time with a green light and singing birds. We decided to start by setting it to 6am and gradually move it later since he was waking so early. We also decided not to buy a crib tent just yet but rather experiment with putting him back in bed and telling him he can climb out when the light turns on and the birds start singing. It seems to be slowly working.
Day 1:
Nap:
In bed: 11:43
asleep 11:45
Slept until 12:54 woke whining laid down and slept for about 7 more min
Total nap time: ~1h 15m
In bed 6:14 (tried earlier but was resistant)
Asleep 6:39
Day 2:
Woke at 4:34 am crying climbed out of crib, placed back in crib and left room.
Stayed quiet until 5:30 but cried again/climbed out and was soaking wet with pee and by the time my husband changed him he was wide awake and didn’t sleep anymore
Nap:
In bed: 11:44
asleep 11:46
Slept until 1:11 , woke and was calm till 1:20 and then went back to sleep until 1:58
Total nap time: ~2h 3m
In bed 6:38 pm
Asleep 7:05pm
Day 3:
Woke crying climbed out 4:37 am
Put him back in crib and left, he stayed quiet till 5:03 started crying and climbed out again
put him back and left, he stayed quiet until 5:30. Cried on and off till 5:47 and climbed out and was very distressed so this time I decided to stay in the room next to his bed until 6 when the hatch went off
After this day started using double overnight diapers because he was all wet again
Nap:
in bed 11:47
Asleep: 12:10
Woke 12:50 whined/cried for 10min
Fell back asleep until 1:33
Total nap time: ~1h 20m
In bed 6:18 pm was very restless
fell asleep: 7:05
Day 4:
Woke at 5:50 crying and climbed out of his bed I put him back and he stayed quiet till his hatch went off at 6:15
Nap:
in bed: 11:53
Restless in bed till 1:18 but then started getting frustrated and calling me so I went in I was going to end the nap attempt but he laid back down and started sucking his thumb so I told him to close his eyes and try to sleep while scratching his back and he fell asleep almost right away and woke at 2pm crying.
I re-read nap drill but I wasn’t sure on what to do if it’s a single nap and he’s calm in bed for over an hour. I didn’t think he would actually fall asleep with me going in. Should I have done something differently? Would a skipped nap and early bedtime have been better than a late short nap and a later bedtime?
In bed: 6:13pm. Was in bed quiet
But very restless until 7:06pm . Cried a little at 7:06 pm
Asleep: 7:28
Night wake crying 11:18, back asleep 11:23
Day 5:
Woke crying and climbed out 5:11
Put him back and left he stayed quiet till hatch turned on
Nap:
in bed 11:44
Asleep: 11:50
woke: 1:20 pm
Total nap: 1.5h
Night:
In bed 6:32
Asleep: 6:51
Day 6:
Woke crying and climbed out at 6:07
Nap:
in bed 11:43
Asleep: 12:04 , woke at 12:44 whined a few min and fell back asleep at 12:50
Woke: 1:10
Nap time: ~1h
In bed: 7:00 (we had an unexpected visit from a family friend and he also filled his diaper right before putting him in bed so unfortunately put him in bed a little later)
Asleep: 7:08
Day 7:
Woke and climbed out 5:50
Put him back he stayed quiet until hatch turned on 6:15
Nap:
In bed 11:54
Didn’t sleep after more than a whole hour and was super restless. Went in and sang and fell asleep almost right away again just like the last time
Asleep: 1:04
Woke : 2:04
Bedtime tbd
Please read the section in my book on “Sleep Rules” and “Silent Return to Sleep”. Because he just turned two, use only rewards and not restriction of privileges. This should speed up his improvement.
Thank you. I’ll review those sections again. We’ve been trying to do brief, quiet returns to bed and keeping him in bed until the Hatch turns on, but we’ll start incorporating positive rewards for staying in bed as well. I appreciate your guidance