If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
Please read Blog Post 6 which discusses the benefits of extra sleep and highlights the fact that even small amounts of extra sleep make a big difference. Delaying school start times allows middle and high school students more time to sleep in and benefits occur, over time, even when the amount of extra sleep is only 2.4 minutes!
A 2021 study by Professor Lisa Meltzer documented that delaying middle school start times by 40-60 minutes later and delaying high school start times by 70 minutes allowed middle schoolers to have 29 minutes extra sleep and high schoolers 45 minutes extra sleep. These students had significantly less daytime sleepiness! An indication that they were no longer clinically sleep deprived was that “weekend oversleep dropped” dramatically because they were no longer needing to “catch-up” on sleep on weekends.
For pre-school children, even infants, many studies have shown that an early bedtime produces more night sleep (even if the wake-up time is earlier) compared to a late bedtime (even when the wake-up time is later). A late bedtime might be associated with longer naps, but longer naps do not compensate for less night sleep. Further, the early bedtime produces better quality sleep because sleep is occurring more in synchrony with circadian sleep rhythms. Blog Post 7 describes the benefits of early bedtimes and Blog Posts 68–69 discuss problems with late bedtimes. So how do you get an early bedtime?
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Hello Dr. Weissbluth, we have some questions about what time a 16 month old should be going to bed, nap time, wake up time, and overall amount of sleep.
He is down to one nap, which ranges from 2-3 hours (generally closer to 3 hours), usually starting between 11:15-11:30am. We have said that we must wake him up by 2:30pm if he is not up by himself. First question, is that ok?
We then put him down at 6:00pm after our night time routine, he falls asleep within 20-55 minutes of being put down. Even when he takes 55 minutes to fall asleep, there is no crying, often just relaxed laying down, or sometimes standing. We have not observed a trend of what causes the 20 minutes versus the longer time to fall asleep. What time should he be going down, and this this a problem?
Then in the morning, we really are shooting for a 6:00am wake up, but it is frequently around 5:15am. We do go in quietly and check his diaper and then put him back in his crib and don’t go in again until 6:00am, but he does not go back to sleep. For example, this morning he was up at 5:02am, and by 7:30am he was already tired, yawing and rubbing his eyes. Should we be trying a later bed time as it suggests on pg. 656, or should be try for an early bed time as you suggest throughout your book?
He went to one nap around 13 months because he was not taking a second nap, no matter how long or short his first nap was or what time it started.
On average he ranges between 13-14 hours of sleep a day, naps and night time sleep combined.
Any advice is very much appreciated.
Following your own child’s drowsy signs, mood, and behavior is your best guide. Because of variability in nap duration and physical activity during the day, I suggest you vary the bedtime based on subtle drowsy signs for 5-10 nights. Monitor the latency to sleep onset at bedtime and see if it is shorter. Please let me know how it goes.
Hi, Dr.Weissbluth! Thank you for your blog and your book. We’ve found it very informative. In regards to an early bedtime, I do have two questions:
Q1: For newborns (e.g. 2 months), should we be waking them up in the morning? There are times that we have a night feeding (3-5 am), and she’s still asleep by 7:30 am.
Q2: Is there ever a “too early” bedtime? Sometimes, my baby shows drowsy signs around 5 pm, so that’s when bedtime starts for her.
Q1: No. Enjoy your baby’s natural developing sleep rhythm.
Q2: No. Ditto.
Hello Dr Weissbluth,
Your book has been a godsend. My 16 week old is sleeping well at night, waking only once or twice a night to feed and she is learning self soothing skills.
With a *lot* of effort, over the last month we’ve managed to move her bedtime from around 10pm to around 8:30. This has been hard though due to timing the ending of her last nap (we try to have her awake no longer than two hours at a time) and her anticipated bedtime. We get her up by 7am if she’s not awake on her own.
She hasn’t responded well to attempts to bring her bedtime earlier too abruptly – it’s just a fight and she ends up falling asleep at her usual time instead. Bringing it forward by 15mins a week is as good as it gets for now.
My question is does this all need to be taking as long as it is? I’d like to have her in bed by at least 7 (earlier if you advise it) is there another way to do it other than very very slowly?
Thank you so much,
Laura
Why do you wake her at 7am if she’s not awake on her own?
I remembered your book suggested waking them up in order that they can have their mid morning nap. Maybe I misunderstood though?
Yes to help naps and perhaps you are doing this in conjunction with trying to move the bedtime earlier. Understood.
At 4-6 months a mid-morning and mid-day dap develops +/- a third nap.
What is her current nap schedule?
At her age, it is possible that you are mistaking a bedtime of 5:30-6:30 as a nap time. How does she behave around that time?
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
I read your book for my first child who is now two years old and it was so helpful. He’s been sleeping through the night since we decided to sleep train him using the cry it out method at 6 months old. My second child, now 15 weeks old is completely different and I’m having a difficult time figuring out how to let her get more sleep at night. She would sleep 4-5 hour stretches at night and that stopped about two weeks ago. For the past week, she has been waking up every 1 to 2 hours. I don’t go to her immediately, I try to let her fall back to sleep on her own, however, it quickly escalates to an uncontrollable cry if I don’t soothe her quick enough. Even if I do go to her in time and put her pacifier back in, she will fall back to sleep and then will wake again an hour later. This goes on between 9:30pm until 7am. Her bedtime is currently 9:30pm and I know she should be going to bed earlier, but I’m not sure how to get there. She also naps quite a bit during the day, with at least the first nap being two hours long, but I also don’t know when to allow her to have her last nap before bed. She gets sleepy around 6pm so I will let her nap but she will usually only fall asleep for 45 minutes so I’m not sure if she could fall asleep for the night yet at that time. I’d like to know how I can try to let her sleep for more than 1 hour at a time, how to move her bedtime to an earlier time and if it’s too early to begin the cry it out sleep training method.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Best,
Vicky
Please read Blog Post 190 and tell me what you think my advice would be to you.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
Thank you for your quick response. I read the blog post and I will try to put my baby to bed at around 5:30pm. Is this something that I gradually work towards from 9:30pm or if I see that she is getting tired around 5:30pm should I just put her to bed then?
Thanks again,
Vicky
“if I see that she is getting tired around 5:30pm should I just put her to bed then?” Yes.
Try for a mid-morning and a mid-day nap and no 3rd nap begins after 3pm.
How does this sound?
That sounds great, thank you very much. I will try this out tonight.
Thank you for your response Dr Weissbluth. Her nap schedule is still developing but if she wakes at 7 she has a fairly reliable nap around 9 where she sleeps for usually an hour but sometimes more than two. We try to have a nap around 12ish but it depends on her previous nap wakeup time. The third nap is harder to achieve and often involves her sleeping on one of us (we’re stationary) and it’s start time is variable.
Since your previous post and based on your suggestion we’ve achieved a 7pm bedtime but she now is awake and ready to start the day at 5am (!), sometimes waking to nurse once before that. We’ve been in a heatwave which has affected her sleep so I’m going to give it some time to see if I can get her to sleep later in the morning. The couple times I’ve tried she’s just been wide awake squawking for an hour or more before I give up and start the day. For her this is unusual as she reliably falls asleep quickly after night time nursing.
She’s a lovely, easy tempered baby but she keeps me on my toes!
Best,
Laura
“The third nap is harder to achieve and often involves her sleeping on one of us (we’re stationary) and it’s start time is variable.”
Sometimes a “3rd nap” is actually a super early (5:30pm) biological bedtime. Perhaps giving me more information about the timing and duration of the 3rd nap might clarify what is going on. Because sleep begets sleep, often an earlier bedtime produces a later wake-up time in young babies.
Thank you again Dr. Weissbluth for your response. She tends to be a brief napper and we stick to your ‘1-2 hours is a ceiling not a floor’ rule. Naps typically last about 45 minutes (with the occasional unpredictable 2 hour nap). Usually awake between 6-7am, first nap about 9 (earlier if early wake up), second at 12, third at 3 (although sometimes earlier depending on timing and length of the first 2 naps). The third nap rarely starts past 3 unless she had some sort of epic long naps earlier in the day which set back her cycle which isn’t too common. We don’t let her sleep past 4pm as a general rule as you’ve suggested. We have an established bedtime routine (short bath/lullabies/feeding and either falls asleep feeding or put down drowsy but awake when done feeding) which starts about 6-615 which usually has her asleep around 7.
The 5am wake up is what we’re hoping to change – given the theme seems to be to aim for earlier bedtimes leads to later wakups, I’m guessing we should keep pushing her bedtime earlier? How should that affect the timing of her wake up from the afternoon nap?
Best,
Laura
Because her naps “typically last about 45 minutes” and “The third nap rarely starts past 3” I suggest that you read carefully Blog Posts 9, 83, and 115X. Look closely for subtle drowsy signs between 4-5pm. Due to nap variability, the bedtime may vary but earlier is better. Or, just try a strict 5:30pm lights out (she has been bathed, fed, and soothed and you are leaving the room ‘drowsy but awake at 5:30pm) for 4-5 nights to see how she responds. For more information, read Blog Posts 159, 171, 172, and 204.
How does this sound to you?
Thank you we’ll try this for several nights and see how it goes. The review on subtle early drowsy signs was definitely helpful, we’re doing better with that. I couldn’t find blog 204 though, the latest one was 201.
As an aside, I’m so bowled over and grateful that you’d take the time to help us troubleshoot our sleep issues. It’s humbling to be able to communicate with an expert who after 40+ years in the field remains passionate and caring. Thank you.
Dr. Weissbluth,
We typically put our almost 4.5 month old down around 5pm. He sleeps until 11pm-ish, eats and then goes back to sleep until about 430am when he wakes up to eat again. He’ll then go back down for 60-90 minutes until he’s up for the day. He has 3 naps per day with the last one being no later than 3pm. Here are my questions:
1. Would you consider this a good schedule?
2. When do night feeds typically phase out? He is drinking formula, and when he wakes up at 11pm, he sucks down 8oz, so I know he’s actually hungry.
3. At what point do we shift the bedtime later?
Thank you!
1. Yes
2. When he consumes substantially less and sucks slowly, then stop. This will occur before 9 months of age.
3.Later, I’ll post a Blog with specific Blog Posts that support my following comments.
Early bedtimes produce high quality sleep (long sleep duration and consolidated sleep). High quality sleep better stimulates brain development. As a result, he will be more intelligent, athletic and creative and be less likely to develop emotional or behavioral problems and mental health problems when older. He might be taller because growth hormone is produced only during sleep and especially during the early evening sleep.
Just as you would not withhold food when he is hungry, please do not withhold sleep when he is drowsy.
I do not know when his bedtime will shift to a later time, but base it only on his drowsy signs.
How does this sound?
I just wanted to feed back how things are going after your helpful advice around moving bedtime earlier and our concerns with her early wake ups.
Bottom line, they’re going great! Bedtime has been successfully moved to around 6 for the past five nights and she’s waking 0-2 times a night to feed. She’s mostly waking up to start the day after 6 which is perfect for us.
We’re now going to work on naps more as she’s a short napper, but even with that she’s doing awesome at night.
Thank you again, Laura, Mike, and a well rested Olivia
Great! Would you be able to write a narrative report about your sleep journey and post it here so that I may use it as a Blog Post? Mothers might better respond to your voice than mine. If so, the more detail the better and please include the role (+ or -) of the father.
Establishing night sleep, early bedtimes and naps.
We did full extinction for our three and a half month old and were successful teaching her to self soothe at night. Whilst we were establishing her night sleep we chose to do what we called ‘naps by any means necessary’, i.e. place into her crib asleep or allow her to sleep on one of us for her mid afternoon nap. As Dr Weissbluth says, sleep begets sleep and night sleep develops before naps. We were soon in a rhythm of successful self soothing at night with usually one or two wake ups a night for feeding. However bedtimes were still late, between 9 and 10, and we just couldn’t get her to go to sleep when we tried for 6-7.
It took a lot of work over a number of weeks, but we were able to gradually bring her bedtime forward in increments of about 30 minutes until she was routinely going to sleep between 6 and 7. We did this by paying meticulous attention to wake windows and nap times to get the timing right, as well as her drowsy signs. So much work! But worth it. Once an early bedtime was established we started nap drills for the midmorning and midday naps and now that she’s six months those are also well established. The reality of family life is that we aren’t always perfect at spotting her drowsy signs, or we’re a bit late and she gets a bit tired. But her routine is now so well established that she generally self soothes without much fuss for those first two naps of the day, and reliably goes to sleep between 6 and 7.
Since about the age of 5 months she’s been waking maximum once a night to feed. We did notice that on the occasions she woke at 10pm ish and fed that she’d sleep right through until 6-7am. We now dream feed her when she’s in a deep sleep around 9:30-10, and she sleeps through about 50-75% of the time.
To all this I’d like to add that my husband’s support was key, as I was so sleep deprived at the start of our journey it was hard to formulate a plan from the book. Having someone else to help with making a plan, learning drowsy signs, timing of naps and how to modify things as we progressed was key. “Many hands” really is important!
We are so grateful to Dr Weissbluth for his expertise. Studying his book and being able to ask some questions via the blog has been instrumental and we are a happy, well rested family.
Forever grateful, Laura and Mike
Thank you. Shall I keep or delete your names?
Dear Dr. Weissbluth,
Thank you so much for your book and for this blog. We started to sleep train our 7 month old son a week ago with the cry it out method, and from day one he sleeps through the night. I would like to ask you two questions:´
1. We sleep trained him for naps and night sleep all at once. He is doing really well for both, but sometimes he still cries a few minutes when we leave him in his crib for naps, even if we follow his drowsy signs. Is it OK, or are we doing something wrong?
2. Is the bedtime you suggest in your book (from 6 to 8 pm) valid for all regions? We live in Spain, the sun goes down at 9.45 pm here in summer, so I was wondering if this could justify a later bedtime. My son usually wakes up at 7 am., but he is not tired until 8 and a half pm.; maybe he does not take enough night sleep.
Thank you so much for your help.
Best wishes
Please carefully read Blog Post 83 to understand and be able to recognize Drowsy Signs.
Read Blog Post 204 to appreciate what happens if you go past drowsy signs and create Pre-Sleep Arousal.
Read Blog Post 61 from a Spanish mother/pediatric sleep researcher to understand the cultural challenges you will encounter.
Blog Post 62 explains why fighting biological circadian rhythms will not end well.
Let me know your thoughts.
Dear Dr. Weissbluth,
I would like to thank you for your instructions. When I received your answer, I read the blog posts you mentioned, and I started to be much more attentive to my baby’s signs of drowsiness. I also started to move bedtime earlier, little by little…. And our problem is solved, my baby doesn’t cry anymore before falling asleep.
You mentioned in your answer some possible “cultural challenges” I could be facing. I’m Italian, I live in Spain, and unfortunately in both these countries sleep training is not common, and is harshly criticised. When I first read your book, it seemed to me so trustworthy, evidence-based, and full of common sense, that my husband and I chose to sleep train our baby in spite of all the criticism. We couldn’t be happier with the outcome, especially for our son. Thank you so much!
Best wishes
You might be interested in Blog Post 60 from a German Pediatric Sleep scientist mother and who referred my book to a German Psychologist Blog Post 61 (which you alreaady read).
Cultural differences are also discussed in Blog Posts 64-64, 88, 101, 111, and 210.
Please let me know if you need any help in the future.
My sincere goal is to raise the visibility of accurate information regarding children’s sleep. To encourage other parents, in all countries, please consider writing, and posting here, a narrative report of your sleep adventure (please include the role of the father) that I would use it as a Blog Post or perhaps, only if you feel comfortable, an Amazon book review.
I wish you sweet dreams for your child.
Hello Dr. Weissbluth! We have been trying to get our 16 month old to have an earlier bedtime for a few weeks. As a newborn, she went down late for the night around 11:00pm, and leading up to that time she had a “nap” that lasted from about 8:30-10:30/11:00pm, at which point we’d give her a bottle. This nap most often ended up being a contact nap. We have been trying to get her to bed to sleep for the night around 8:30 to coincide with the start of that natural “nap,” but she will wake up after about 20 minutes (or less) and only will sleep if held until 11:00pm when we give her a bottle, which is now a dream feed because she doesn’t wake up naturally at this time (we want to keep this for now). After her dream feed, she goes in her crib and sleeps about 6-7 hours, which is great. Our struggle is that chunk of time from 8:30-11:00pm where she won’t sleep unless we’re holding her. Another potentially helpful bit of info is that she rarely contact naps during the day and she goes down “drowsy but awake” in her crib for her daytime naps. This situation is so perplexing! Our ultimate goal is an even earlier bedtime to promote healthy development, but we have been unsuccessful so far with even this 8:30 bedtime. Any suggestions or specific blog posts you could point us to? Thank you!
Have you read the age-appropriate section in my book?
The fundamental problem is that a bedtime of 8:30 is way too late: Read Blog Posts 224A-C, 228, and the cited Blog Posts.
Dream feeds are bogus: Read Blog Posts 36,37, and 143 for some perspective on popular fads and myths.
Thank you! I will revisit that chapter in your book and read those blog posts. Do you have any recommendations for how to shift the bedtime, or should we just start implementing an earlier bedtime without the gradual shift?
Blog Post 74 will help you.
When is her usual nap and how long is it?
But at 16 months of age, because of her sleep issues, an 8:30pm bedtime is so late, moving it 10-20 minutes earlier might not help.
Instead, have an early dinner around 5:30pm and watch her behavior when alone with toys (no parental or sibling interaction and no screens) between 6-7pm for 2 nights and report back.
Review Blog Posts 83 and 115X.
How does this sound?
Hi Dr Weissbluth — I’m so sorry, I just realized I had a typo in my original question. Our daughter is 16 *weeks* (not months). Right now, she is on 4 naps a day, with the last one being about 30 minutes, usually starting around 6:00pm depending how her day went, as we do on-demand feeding and napping with. We will still try your suggestion to observe her and report back! Please let me know if there is anything else I should look at in the meantime.
Understood
For 3-5 consecutive nights, rigidly schedule a temporary 5:30pm expected falling asleep time (she is bathed, fed, soothed and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm).
Do what ever works to maximize sleep during the day but no new nap starts after 3pm. If she is asleep at 3pm from an earlier nap, do not wake her.
Keep a written record of day sleep and night sleep and report back.
How does this sound?
Sounds good, thank you!