If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
Unhealthy sleep schedules usually evolve in infants and young children when parents keep them up too late at night. Parents do this because they enjoy playing with their baby or they cannot put the child to sleep and instead wait for their child to crash from total exhaustion, or both. Some parents leave work late, have a long commute to the daycare site to pick up their child, and then arrive home even later. This lifestyle is extremely difficult for the child if naps are not regular at the daycare center and she is put down to sleep too late at night. If it is impossible to have an early bedtime under these circumstances, do the best you can. A bedtime that is only a little late is not as harmful as a bedtime that is way too late. Don’t beat yourself up over this but do your best to protect naps and early bedtimes on weekends. Bedtimes are based on drowsy signs (Blog Post 9), not clock times, so please do not compare your child’s bedtime with that of another child. Also, realistically, circumstances may make it difficult for parents to synchronize soothing to sleep at night with the onset of drowsy signs. For some parents, the reality is that a bedtime that is too late is unavoidable. Even so, try to move the bedtime just a few minutes earlier. But an important point is that a little earlier bedtime, just a few minutes earlier, will benefit your child. A little bit of extra sleep goes a long way (Blog Post 7). Also, perhaps good quality naps might mitigate the adverse effects of a too late bedtime. Good quality naps are naps occurring before the child becomes overtired; good quality naps occur in synch with nap rhythms. However, some babies simply are brief nappers.
If parents can cause problems that interfere with good naps, why can’t parents make their babies nap longer? This question provides a good example of the asymmetry between sleep and wakefulness. Sleep is not the absence of wakefulness; rather, the brain automatically and actively turns on the sleep process and simultaneously turns off wakefulness. You and your child can force wakefulness upon sleep, but you cannot force sleep upon wakefulness. You and your child can motivate or force yourself and her into a more wakeful or alert state, but you cannot force anyone into a deeper sleep state. So sleep and wake states are different but not opposite. Nap duration between 6 and 18-24 months is a stable individual characteristic, some children are born to be short nappers and others will be long nappers.
Not napping means lost sleep. Over an extended period of time, children do not sleep longer at night when their naps are brief. Of course, once in a while—when relatives visit or when a painful ear infection keeps the child awake—a child will make up for lost daytime sleep with longer night sleep. But day in and day out, you should not expect to satisfy your child’s need to sleep by cutting corners on naps and then trying to compensate by putting your child to sleep for the night at an earlier hour. What you wind up with is a cranky or demanding child in the late afternoon or early evening. Your child pays a price for nap deprivation, and so do you.
Spending hours during the day holding your child in your arms or in a rocking chair while she is in a light, twilight sleep also is lost sleep because you have delayed the time when she will fall into a deep slumber. It is similar to having a bedtime that is too late. It’s a waste of your time as well. Brief catnaps during the day, motion sleep in cars or baby swings, light sleep in the stroller at the pool, and naps at the wrong time are all poor-quality sleep.
All previous Blog Posts relate mostly to night sleep. If your child sleeps well at night, she wakes up in the morning well rested, which permits better quality naps, which promote better quality night sleep. The reason night sleep and day sleep interact with each other is that your child remains at a lower level of neurological activation that produces a virtuous circle of healthy sleep. If either night sleep or day sleep is off, a vicious circle may occur causing your child to be at a higher level of neurological activation resulting in bedtime resistance, night wakings, short night sleep duration, and problematic naps. The reasons that previous posts focused more on night sleep then day sleep (naps) are:
Parents have more influence over night sleep than naps for three reasons:
Parents have less influence over naps than night sleep for three reasons:
(To be continued.)
My name is Marc Weissbluth and I’ve been a pediatrician since 1973. This baby sleep blog will help you create a healthy sleep schedule for your child. My baby sleep advice and sleep training will teach you how to get a baby to sleep through the night. To stay updated with my latest baby and child sleep blog posts, be sure to subscribe today.
dr weissbluth, we love your books! im curious what you say is an appropriate wake time for a 7-8 month old? (if well rested). i can get her morning nap by her sleepy cues but find it harder to hit her second nap. i know to watch my baby more than the clock, but is there a time that’s an average? thank you!
What is her usual 24-hour sleep pattern? Does she have self-soothing skills?
yes she self soothes and puts herself to sleep by herself often. of course, if i miss her sleepy cues and she’s reaching overtired (not often), it takes more soothing (as expected per your book and blog!). i usually wake her by 8 am and she’s down for her first nap between 9:30 and 10. this is usually a long nap. i aim for her next nap around 2 but sometimes she doesn’t seem as tired if she takes a longer nap. which is why i was wondering an estimated wake window so i can try to watch her more closely during that time! is it usually 2-3 hours? or more/less? she’s in bed by 7 or 7:30 for the night and sleeps well (sometimes has a quick feed and back down). any idea how long she should be able to stay awake after that first nap or even before bedtime? thank you!
How is her mood and behavior between 1-2pm and between 6-7PM?
it kinda depends? if she naps till 11 or 12 she has a good demeanor by 1-2 (sometimes fussy around 2). and again depends on how her nap is for how she is around 5-6. lately she’s been more fussy at this time but between trying to get her “dinner” and her nighttime bottle she can’t go down too early or we can’t get that all in!
Your description of “around 5-6. lately she’s been more fussy at this time” suggests that cumulative sleepiness is developing from a bedtime that is sometimes too late and the interval of wakefulness between her two naps is sometimes too late. How would you describe her drowsy signs?
her drowsy signs are getting fussy, red around her eyes, staring into space, late signs are rubbing her eyes (usually don’t get to this point!). i do think she might be getting over tired! i’m trying to balance pushing her a bit (bc sometimes it seems she is tired after 1 hour of awake time!) and meeting an age appropriate age window, which is 2-3 hours? is that what you would say is an age appropriate wake window?
Read my Blog Post on Drowsy Signs to understand why you are confusing drowsiness with fatigue. I think my advice regarding shorter intervals of wakefulness between naps and before bedtime will help. Use Drowsy Signs as your guide. ‘Wake windows’ is a bogus notion.
Your thoughts?
ok i agree with you! she’s had a few rough nights and last night she was up off and on till 2 am 😳. i tried to wake her at 7 to start the day and she ate a little bit and literally cried until i rocked her to sleep. she’s still sleeping and it’s almost 11 am. clearly she is tired. any tips how to reverse this so she doesn’t wake again tonight? i’m thinking we will do 1 nap based on sleepy signs and then a super early bedtime? 5:30 or 6? what are your recommendations? thank you!
Use drowsy signs and expect two naps and a super early bedtime, if needed (again, based on drowsy signs)
will try that! she ended up not waking up till noon. yikes. so we did a nap from 2-3:30 and are putting her down at 5:30 pm. I’m guessing she will wake up in a few hours and think it was just a nap? We will try to rock her, maybe do a final feed (usually eats around 7 or 7:30 on a normal night) and hope for the best! she puts herself to sleep all the time so it’s so frustrating when she is awake from being over tired!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, my daughter is 12 weeks today and I suspect she is perpetually overtired. She had serious blood sugar issues at birth and weight gain issues at first so our Dr made us wake her every 3 hours around the clock for a feeding for the first two months. It was awful and we were looking forward to a more baby controlled schedule after that. She is a decent night sleeper (giving us stretches regularly between 5.5 to 8 hours, we even had 9 hours one night) and most of the time when she has a shorter sleep window it is because she has peed through her diaper (she is prolific and goes through about 15-18 diapers a day). She will go down for a few short naps per day (about 25 minutes each) but then will not be soothed back to sleep. She will usually give us one longer nap during the day of about 1.5-3 hours but it is unpredictable when that nap will occur. I understand naps don’t become regular until later but the briefness of the naps seems concerning.
The biggest issue is, she fights us before sleep. Before every nap. Usually for an extended period before bedtime. She gets VERY worked up. I have tried to watch for drowsy signs but she seems to be one of those babies that goes from wide awake to overtired (or maybe she is just perpetually overtired and so I am never seeing drowsy signs since she is always drowsy?). She can self soothe a little bit (she has put herself to sleep to nap twice when my back needed a break from trying to soothe her and I usually put her down drowsy but awake after her night feeding regardless of what time it is and she does not fuss and goes to sleep).
Should we focus on just catching her up with sleep regardless of how much soothing it takes at this point and then work on self soothing, or would self soothing perhaps get her into better sleep that would then allow her to catch up on her sleep deficit? I don’t know where to start.
What is a common time that she actually falls asleep at night? Describe her mood and behavior when not directly being soothed by you during the 1-2 hours before that time?
We try to get her to sleep starting around 6/6:30 sometimes 7 and it will take until 8:30 or 9pm sometimes depending on when we start to actually get her to sleep. In the time before she is crying, sometimes screaming sometimes not, and will move her head from side to side looking at everything around her with her eyes wide open. She doesn’t rub her eyes but will yawn. Sometimes it feels like the soothing actually makes it worse and if I just sit and hold her she will just look around but stop crying. But she doesn’t get any closer to sleep if I hold her still or if I just put her in her crib (where she works her way up to crying).
Please read and have your husband look carefully at Blog Posts 9, 83, and 115X to fully appreciate why she should be falling asleep much earlier. Based on her age and her not napping well, start with an asleep time of 5:30pm. That means that you do everything you want to do for bedtime routine feeding, bathing, and soothing, and you are putting her down and leaving the room at 5;30pm. This also means that there is no nap that starts after 3:00pm. If she is sleepy between 3-4:30ish, amuse, entertain, and soothe her but do not let her fall asleep. Outdoor stimulation or loud music might help keep her calmer and awake.
Your thoughts?
We will do that. If she is in a nap at 3pm can we let it continue or do we wake her up at 3 so that she is ready for an asleep time of 5:30?
If a nap starts before 3pm and she is asleep at 3pm, do not wake her and still have the super early bedtime. But ” no nap that starts after 3:00pm” to protect the early bedtime.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, my 12 week old daughter is napping well during the day and has even started being able to put herself to sleep and back to sleep if she wakes from a nap. However, we’re having issues with night time sleep. From about 7-9 weeks of age, she was regularly sleeping for stretches up to 6 hours, even 7 hours once. Then, at 9 weeks old, she started waking every two hours all night long. We have shifted to an earlier bedtime between 7-8 and she’s napping for an average of 5 hours per day. We watch for drowsy signs and get her down quickly. She doesn’t fight sleep for naps, but it’s harder to get her down at night. Do you have any advice for how we might be able to get her night time sleep back on track?
When does her last nap occur and how long is it?
During the hour before her 7-8pm bedtime, please describe her mood and behavior when she is alone with toys (not in front of a screen or interacting with parents).
Her last nap usually occurs at around 5:00 pm, +/- 15 minutes, and lasts about 45 minutes.
Her mood in the hour before bedtime is usually quite good. She’s not fussy, and when left alone with toys she will happily play on the floor.
I should add that she’s waking at 4:30-5:00 in the morning and it’s very difficult to get her back to sleep.
Please describe common times and durations of her naps even though there is some variation from day to day.
Please describe what you do at her night wakings and how she responds.
What was her gestational age at birth?
Are you using breast milk or formula?
First nap of the day is usually around 8:30/9:00 and total sleep time is 2-2.5 hours though sleep is broken up by some crying spells. I put her down drowsy but awake and sometimes she goes right to sleep and others she cries for between 5-10 minutes. She almost always wakes after 30-45 minutes. I let her cry for between 5-10 minutes to see if she’ll fall back to sleep on her own. If not (and this is almost always the case) I pick her up, soothe her to sleep by bouncing on a yoga ball and the remainder of the nap is a contact nap. This is repeated for nap #2, which begins around 1:00/1:30 and is usually 2 hours total sleep time. The third nap is around 5:00 and usually lasts 45 minutes to an hour. We’re slowly trying to teach her the skill of falling asleep on her own and getting back to sleep, so this is mostly practiced on the first nap. Third nap is solely contact nap to ensure she gets the remaining daytime sleep she needs.
Night waking response varies. I nurse her if it’s been 3 or more hours since her last feed, then bounce her and put her down asleep. Otherwise, I first try to soothe her by giving her the pacifier and placing my hand on her chest. If that fails, I bounce her back to sleep and put her down. Before going down at night, I bounce her to sleep and hold her for 30 minutes before putting her down. She responds very well to the bouncing and usually falls to sleep in minutes.
She was born at 40 weeks and I am breastfeeding exclusively.
She is showing progress with putting herself to sleep and back to sleep when she wakes up. However, she’s waking very frequently at night. She also seemed to no longer want to sleep in the bassinet next to the bed, so we are now bed sharing which is not what we want.
1. Around 6 weeks of age, your baby’s brain wanted an earlier bedtime and because the bedtime was too late, cumulative sleepiness developed and by 9 weeks the sleep debt was so large that sleep issues appeared.
2. The too late bedtime harm was partially mitigated by your heroic efforts to maintain long day sleep duration, but a byproduct was that your baby has not developed strong self-soothing skills and those efforts are not sustainable.
Specific family circumstances prevent me from giving you detailed advice on how to correct your situation, but here are some general pointers:
Nap sleep rhythms begin to develop around 3-4 months and are well established by 6 months. So the time when you should work hard to fix naps might be now or later.
Night sleep rhythms begin to develop around 6 weeks so you should work hard to fix night sleep now.
Your general plan is to have no nap start after 3pm and move the bedtime earlier. There is not one way to do this for all families and details are presented in my book that explain the pros and cons of different approaches. I am sorry that I am unable to give you highly specific advice but I hope this helps a little.
Thank you for your advice. We will try the new schedule you suggest. My last question is about night time sleep training. You discuss different methods in your book, including extinction. Do you think she is too young to try one of the methods discussed in your book to help fix night time sleep? Should we be waiting until 4 months? Her self soothing seems to be getting stronger. The last two nights, she woke frequently but each time was able to put herself back to sleep once she was given the pacifier. I’m wondering if using a CIO method at night to encourage stronger self soothing in combination with an earlier bedtime might be helpful?
“I’m wondering if using a CIO method at night to encourage stronger self soothing in combination with an earlier bedtime might be helpful?” YES
“Do you think she is too young to try one of the methods discussed in your book to help fix night time sleep? Should we be waiting until 4 months” NO to both. Read Blog Posts 105-107
Hello Dr. Weissbluth!! Our 5 month old son has been sleeping great since we implemented your recommendations!! He goes down between 6-6:15pm and usually wakes between 4-5am to eat and then will go back for another couple hours. We are really struggling with naps though! He wakes up after 25-30 min no matter the wake window. We watch sleepy cues and even if he falls asleep right away, he is up 25-30 min later on the dot! Any advice for lengthening naps? Thanks so much!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
I just wanted to thank you for your advice! We’ve shifted to an earlier bedtime of between 6:00-6:30 and our daughter is now sleeping in her own room in the crib for 12-12.5 hours a night. The very first night we implemented an early bedtime, she slept 12.5 hours with two feedings and no crying. We’re now doing graduated extinction when she does wake up, and it’s going well. Thank you so much for your advice. Once we get nighttime sleep occurring consistently like this, I’d like to start working on naps and I have the same question as Lisa’s comment above. How can naps be lengthened? Can I do a CIO method for naps? And how can this be done while also preventing over tiredness?
Sorry, this thread is a bit confusing. Please tell me your child’s age and her common current nap schedule.
Thank you. How is her usual mood and behavior when alone (no screens or parental interaction) around 5-6pm?
My daughter is 12 weeks old. She Has 3 naps per day. Schedule has shifted a bit now that nighttime sleep is becoming established. Nap 1 is about 2.5-3 hours long from around 8:15-10:45/11, second nap about 2 hours from about 12:30-2:30, third nap about 45 minutes from about 3:45-4:30 and bedtime between 6-6:30. I start naps one and two in the crib but they only last 30-40 minutes. I then finish the naps as a contract nap. Her room is very dark, we use white noise and she does have self soothing skills but struggles to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up during a nap.
Hello Dr. Weissbluth!! Our 5 month old son has been sleeping great since we implemented your recommendations!! He goes down between 6-6:15pm and usually wakes between 4-5am to eat and then will go back for another couple hours. We are really struggling with naps though! He wakes up after 25-30 min no matter the wake window. We watch sleepy cues and even if he falls asleep right away, he is up 25-30 min later on the dot! Any advice for lengthening naps? Thanks so much!!
For the next 3 days only, do everything that you currently do but start the soothing to sleep process 20 minutes earlier and monitor latency to sleep onset, night wakings, and naps. Let me know how it goes.
I would say her mood between 5-6 pm while alone is a bit fussy. She will play with toys but becomes fussy without interaction. We don’t usually use a pacifier during the day during waking hours except for before bedtime. We tend to do our best to distract her before bed and keep her calm.
This is a description of ‘presleep arousal’: “I would say her mood between 5-6 pm while alone is a bit fussy. She will play with toys but becomes fussy without interaction. We don’t usually use a pacifier during the day during waking hours except for before bedtime. We tend to do our best to distract her before bed and keep her calm.”
It indicates that she is past drowsy and is entering a state of heightened neurological arousal because the bedtime is too late. For 3 nights only, begin your bedtime bathing, feeding and soothing to sleep so that it ends at 5:30pm and you are leaving the room(the expected falling asleep time). Keep a sleep record and report back to me after 3 nights. This super-early bedtime will allow naps to lengthen. As naps get longer over the next 4-8 weeks, the bedtime might become later. Watch the video Blog Post 115X and read Blog Post 9.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, we are still really struggling with naps. He only takes 25-30 min naps. He takes 3-4 a day. He is cranky a lot of the day because we think he is tired. We have tried every combination of wake windows from 60-180 min. We put him down in the crib in picture dark, his sleep sack, binki and white noise. He goes to bed between 6-6:15pm, sleeps until 4-5am to eat and then will sleep another 2 hours. These short naps have been going on for over 2 weeks now.
Previously, I suggested a bedtime 20 minutes earlier, did you do that and if so, what happened; if not, why not?
Dr. Weissbluth,
Love your book! It’s already made a difference.
We think are considering implementing the nap drill for seven seven-month-old old, but are unsure if he’s too old for this intervention.
He won’t self-soothe for naps. He’s dependent on mom to sleep for naps (dad was once nap king before his parental leave ended).
When he gets his naps his night sleep is fantastic. When he doesn’t well…
start the bedtime routine at 6pm and finish at 6:30 pm. He actually falls asleep at 7pm. We’d like him to fall asleep at 6p because we think he needs the earlier bedtime.
At 7 months, I suggest that on Friday, start with super-early bedtime (5:30pm), do extinction or graduated extinction for night sleep, and do the nap drill (with your husband available for week-end support). Let me now on Monday how it went.
Dr. Weissbluth!
I thought I’d give the report. My son’s sleep has SIGNIFICANTLY improved. He’s been logging an extra 3 to 4 hours of sleep in a day. Thank you! Here’s what my husband and I did:
We decided to do extinction with a 45-minute cap because our son has always been Mr. Sir Poops-A-Lot. We wanted to be able to check his diapers, and we thought that graduated extinction was too much to keep track of.
We also moved his bedtime up by 30 minutes and agreed on a nursing schedule (baby can eat every four hours at night if he chooses.) Only Dad goes in for diaper and hunger checks. Mom goes in for a feed if the baby is really hungry.
100% of the time since Friday we have put the boy down drowsy but awake and left the room for him to soothe himself to sleep.
Here’s what happened:
Day 1, Friday
Otis cries for 45 minutes. My husband goes in and does a diaper check. It’s the dreaded code brown. Husband changes the diaper and reports back to me. He’s ready to call it quits on day one because he doesn’t want our son to get a massive diaper rash. As he’s talking, Baby Otis falls asleep and proceeds to sleep for 8 hours straight for the first time in his life. Husband recommits!
I give him one feed (Baby is definitely EATING not comfort eating). I put him down awake and leave the room. He cries for 15 minutes and then sleeps another 4 hours.
Day 2, Saturday
Nap 1: Baby cries for 20 minutes then sleeps for 30 minutes. Woke up from a bowel movement. Rotten luck for the kid.
Nap 2: Baby cries for 20 minutes then sleeps for 2 hours!
Nap 3: Cries for 15 minutes then sleeps for 30 minutes
Night sleep: Baby cries for 40 minutes then sleeps until 2am. I give him one feed (Baby is definitely EATING not comfort eating). I put him down awake and left the room. Baby wakes at 4am then falls back asleep after 15 minutes of crying. Sleeps until 6:30am
Day 3, Sunday
Nap 1: Cries whole hour. No nap
Nap 2: Cries 30 minutes then falls asleep for an hour.
Nap 3: Cries 15 minutes and sleeps 45 minutes.
Night: Cries 20 minutes then falls asleep until 2 a.m. I give him one feed. I put him down awake and left the room. Baby wakes at 4 am and cries for 30 minutes and falls back asleep.
Mom gets eight hours of sleep for the first time in 7 months.
Day 4 (today) Baby Otis is napping. Peacefully. On his own.
My son is in the 96 percentile for height. His favorite way to sleep is for MOM (his short mom) to carry him around the room until he passes out. He’s now too big to carry. We needed a sleep solution. This book’s advice improved my son’s sleep and saved my back!
Congratulations!
The key to your success is an early bedtime, based on drowsy signs. Please congratulate your husband for not giving up! Some fathers mess up infant sleep. Naps will vary; so the bedtime will vary. Please resist the temptation to keep him up past his time of subtle drowsy signs. Be confident that as naps improve over the next few weeks, his bedtime will often then be a little bit later.
Spread the word.
Hi – wondering if we should cap our 11 wk old’s naps at 2 hrs. He is otherwise an excellent mapper, self soother. His bedtime is 7 pm but he is still waking at 11 pm and 3 am to feed, even with consistent q3-hr feeds during the day.
Thank you!!
Why are you asking this question?
Our first kiddo slept 6 p-6a following your book guidelines at 11 wks of age! But this kiddo isn’t sleeping longer stretches and we have a night nanny who told us to cap all daytime sleep at 2 hrs. We were curious your thoughts.
I should add that we previously had him going to bed earlier – about 6:15 pm – without longer stretches
A common issue with child #2 is that child#1 distracts parents in the evening and child #1 is put to sleep at night too late. Focus on drowsy signs on your infant and maybe an earlier bedtime will erase the night wakings. Because sleep begets sleep, the nanny is wrong.
Thanks so much. Will try letting him nap as long as he wants today. Appreciate your input! I recommend your book to everyone.
Hi Dr. W,
Coming back for some more advice.
Our son is 13 weeks old and not sleeping very long stretches at night. With our first, we followed your book to a T and she slept 6p-6a starting at 11 weeks of age (and continues to be an excellent sleeper at 4 yrs). We would love for him to do the same!
This time, as I mentioned above, we hired night help 5x/week. We are getting conflicting advice and he also has reflux which complicates things.
Things that are going well: he absolutely falls asleep drowsy but awake, and we are adamant about putting him down asap with sleepy signs (yawn, staring into space, red eyebrows). We feel we are on top of this. He has a sound machine, room is dark, he is swaddled, and we leave after putting him down. He fusses maybe 30 sec and then self-soothes asleep.
Here is an example of a recent day:
6 am – either wakes on his own or is woken by night nanny for feed
7-8:30 am – nap
9 am – feed
10:15-11:15 am – nap
11:45 am – feed
12:45-2:35 pm – nap
3 pm – feed
4:30-5:30 nap – woke him at 5:30 to feed, with goal bedtime of 6-6:15 pm
**he is sleepy at this time when we wake him but feel like we need to get that last feed of the day in before bed, then hold him upright for 30 mins given reflux issues (he’s on famotidine, starting omep soon)
6:15 pm bedtime
11:34 pm starts to stir, gave paci
11:55 pm Stirring, let cry a few mins and gave paci
12:30 am stirring, gave paci
1 am – feed, help upright for 30 mins afterward d/t reflux, put down awake, was asleep within 5 min
2 am – woke choking due to large vomit – changed everything, did not re-feed, put down again at 2:15
5:45 – up crying, gave paci x2, fell back asleep
6:38 am – woke him up for the day and fed
Our questions:
1. He is gaining weight very well. Should we still wake him to feed q3 hrs during the day? We have heard that giving those full feeds during the day every 3 hrs will allow him to get calories during the day instead of at night, and that’s the only reason we are interrupting his sleep. If not, how do we ensure he’s getting a full feed before bed in order to do that first long stretch? We are aware sleep begets sleep so this is tricky…
2. Is it okay to let him cry it out at this point when he starts to fuss at 11-12 pm? We never needed to do this with first kiddo. The fact that he vomited a feed at 1 am and then wasn’t re-fed until morning suggests he can go a long stretch without a night feeding.
3. Does having the night nanny in the same room ruin his ability to put himself back to sleep? Can kids at this young of age (13 wks) figure out that if they stir, someone will give them the paci? Nanny says she can’t sleep train until 4 mos of age…
Greatly appreciate your contributions to the sleep world and any insight you have!
1. Because his weight gain is fine, I suggest you stop waking him for a feed in the morning and at night.
2. For 3-5 days/night, no nap is to start after 3pm. If he is asleep then from an earlier nap, do not awaken him. Impose a strict 5:30pm falling asleep time (he has been bathed, fed, soothed, lights out, you are leaving the room at 5:30 pm). Over night, because you are experienced, feed him if you think, and only if you think, he is hungry. If he calls out at other times, follow your heart for a sleep solution (no cry, maybe cry, or let cry)
3. Nanny is wrong, see the relevant ‘Parents’ Reports’ on this subject. Get her out of the room and during this 3-5 night trial, do not allow her to soothe or feed him. Take charge and I think you will see success quickly. Once you have determined his best nighttime feeding schedule, than the nanny can follow your exact instructions or find another job.
How does this sound?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, thank you so much for your excellent books and also the posts on the website. We’ve found them super helpful so far. We are having trouble with naps with our 15 month old daughter. She does one nap at lunch, and to date has been consistent on the timing – usually we put her down between 12.00 and 12.30 (depending on the time she woke in the morning and the level of physical activity) and she would sleep for 2-2.5hrs (more often closer to 2 hrs, or a little less). She doesn’t have any milk before that. She is now fighting it when we put her down (As of the last week or so), and doesn’t fall asleep until closer to 2pm!
She dropped her morning nap at around 10-11 months (early, we think, but when we tried to keep the nap, even for 15-30min, her lunchtime nap was pushed to 3/4pm), and she has been very consistently early to bed but still early to rise. She currently has her bottle at 6.00pm or 6.15pm and is asleep by 6.30pm/6.45pm (previously it was 5.45pm). Sometimes she even goes down at 5.30pm if she hasn’t napped very well. She wakes between 5am and 6am, and recently we have enjoyed slightly later wake up times of 6-6.30am. She’s been sleeping through the night from about 6 months.
We’d love your insight into what we could be doing wrong here that causes the lunchtime nap to be so delayed. Could she be wanting a shorter nap? That would be unusual for her age, but then she also dropper her morning nap unusually early.
Happy holidays!
Currently, how is her mood and behavior between 4-5pm when she is alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement)?
Before she dropped her morning nap at 10-11 months, what was a common falling asleep time?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth – thank you so much for the reply. The times when she only had an hour nap at lunch (from 2-3 (ish)), she is quite frazzled – shouty, irritated, hyperactive. At that point we would put her down at 5:30/5:45pm and she sleeps until about 5.45-6.00am. Today we gave up and gave her a bottle of milk at about 1.15pm and she fell asleep at 1:30pm and is still going nearly 1.5hrs later. It’s worth noting that she is a very active little girl – seems more so than average – there is a lot of running around, and she rarely sits still.
Before she dropped her morning nap, she would typically fall asleep between 8:50-9:15am for about 30 minutes (we would normally wake her after about 30 minutes – this was the only nap we would wake her from). Once her lunch nap started getting late, we tried a 15 minute morning nap, but that didn’t help. She would then normally go down for her lunchtime nap at 1-1.15pm for about 2 hrs (lunch at 12, put down at 12:45). She would then fall asleep at 6:30-6:45pm (bottle at 6:15pm) until about 5.30-6.00am. I just looked through our tracking data, and the 5.45pm bedtime was when she was much smaller – at about 6 months).
Exactly why did you do this: “Before she dropped her morning nap, she would typically fall asleep between 8:50-9:15am for about 30 minutes (we would normally wake her after about 30 minutes)?
If I understand correctly,,around 10-11 months, she had a brief morning nap and and ample midday nap with a bedtime of 6:30-6:45pm. Perhaps this was slightly too late.
If that bedtime was slightly too late, with the disappearance of the morning nap, she might have very slowly accumulated a sleep debt so that by about 15 months, she has gradually developed a higher level of neurological arousal such that she not able to easily take a midday nap.
I suggest a trial of 4-7 days of a strict falling asleep time (you have bathed, fed, soothed, and are leaving the room, lights out) at 5:30pm. Keep a detailed record of latency to sleep onset, night sleep duration, and day sleep duration. Monitor mood and behavior in the late afternoon. Because of the holidays, don’t start this unless you can see a time period where you can consistently commit to this plan. How does this sound?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth – thank you so much for this. Re: your first quesiton as to why we woke her from her morning nap – we found that if she napped for longer than 30 minutes, she wouldn’t nap well at lunch (too late and not very long – only an hour or so, even if the morning nap was only 40-45 minutes).
Yes, that’s right – although the 6:30-6:45pm was the falling asleep time (her latency to sleep onset would normally be only 5-15 minutes); we would do the bottle at about 6:15pm with the bedtime story afterwards. It’s (normally / before this week) very unusal for her to take longer than 15 minutes to fall asleep – day or night.
Thank you for the suggestion – we will try that and report back! We don’t have much on during the holiday period, so can give it a consistent go. Would you suggest we try the 5:30pm bedtime even on days when she naps well (2 hrs)?
PS – she is currently on track for a 2 hour nap today… still asleep at 3:20pm! (we are based in the UK)
For now, yes: Try to be ultra consistent with a 5:30 falling asleep time for the next few days.
Your comments suggest the following: Her bedtime in the past was only a little too late and on her own she would compensate with a long morning nap. But eventually, this long morning nap began to interfere with a good midday nap.
Thank you – and just to double check, do we continue with the one nap only in the day (at lunch, circa 12-12:30pm putting down time)? Or should we be trying to reinstate a morning nap?
Because of her age, one midday nap, start time is based on drowsy signs, not clock times, is to be expected.
Got it, thank you – have just re-read your blog posts on drowsy signs, so hopefully will get it right. Happy holidays, and will report back once we’ve done this for a few days! Thank you so much again.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth – I hope you had a good few days over the holiday period. Thank you again for your advice for our 15 month old’s lunchtime nap issues.
We have implemented a 5:30pm bedtime for the last five days as per your suggestion, and put down our daughter for her lunchtime nap based on drowsy signs. The great news is that the lunchtime nap issues are resolved – she falls asleep without a fuss again and her sleep onset latency went from 50 minutes on days 1 & 2 to 5-20 minutes in the last three days! Her lunchtime nap needs to be earlier we have found – just before noon, rather than after noon.
The bad news is that her total sleep duration has reduced (13.5-14hrs in days 1 & 2 to 12-13hrs today and yesterday) and she’s started waking up at 5am or even earlier (4:30am today). Her evening sleep onset latency was 25 minutes on day 1 (12 hrs night sleep), 5 minutes on day 2 (12 hrs night sleep), 15 minutes on day 3 (11.5hrs night sleep), 30 minutes on day 4 (11 hrs night sleep), and 25 minutes on day 5 (10.5 hrs night sleep). Oddly, her late afternoon mood was best yesterday (shortest sleep duration) – she was calm and completely fuss free. Her mood overall I would say has improved re: less irritability.
What do you think we should do to help with total sleep duration and later wake up times? Given the longer sleep onset latency in the evening, should we nudge the bedtime a bit later in small increments?
Thank you again!
Congratulations!
“Given the longer sleep onset latency in the evening, should we nudge the bedtime a bit later in small increments?” Also, because she has a better nap and her late afternoon mood is improving: Yes.
Thank you! We will do and see if it helps with the wake up times
Please go slowly and be patient; it might take several days or longer.
Hi Dr Weissbluth – your book was our sleep bible for our first child. Child #2 is throwing us for a loop and I’m not sure what to do in the case of his short naps.
He’s just turned 5 months old (due date baby) – wakes up around 5-5:15am, pretty happy and content, not crying. We leave him but he starts crying around 5:45-6am. We give him a diaper change and a bottle (formula fed) and he falls asleep towards the end of the bottle pretty consistently, at which time we’ll let him sleep until 7am and then wake him up for the day.
Take him for a nap at 9am, he’ll sleep maybe 30mins, sometimes a little more but never a full hour and he wakes up crying.
At this stage, are we meant to get him up? Or leave him for the full hour? We’ve tried leaving him and he’s never fallen back asleep and will cry hard.
Child #2 is at home so it’s really hard to spot when he’s tired until I think it may be too late. He cries when being put down for any nap. I’m wondering whether going by a clock would be more helpful?
Nap #2 is unusually around 12pm and it’s also short. We’re finding it impossible to stretch him from a short midday nap to no nap after 3pm. His bedtime is usually in bed by 6pm. Minimal crying, usually falls sleep on the bottle but lately has been crying at the end of soothibng. We’ve put him down to fall asleep by himself.
I have a feeling the solution is staring us right in the face but we really are struggling to figure out the right routine for him. I am having doubts about what’s best for him – we have consistently been waking him back up at 7am but haven’t been seeing success with the 9am nap so today I’m letting him sleep until he wakes up which may be the worst idea given the challenges.
Would love your guidance.
We agree!! The best idea is to stop waking him up at 7am and follow his drowsy cues for 3-4 days, then re-evaluate. Ignore clock times and expected sleep schedules. Follow his sleep needs. Luckily, it’s the week-end so there are two people to watch and help with the two children. Keep a written sleep record and let me know what happens. The future Blog Post 190 on having an older sibling will be of interest to you.
Thank you so much for the quick response! I’ll keep a sleep log and share on Tuesday. Looking forward to that blog post, too!
The most common problem with child #2 is that child #1 distracts parents in the late afternoon or early evening and the parents miss drowsy signs then so that #2’s bedtime is too late. Please be careful and use super-early bedtimes with #2 if drowsy signs are present early.
Back with my log. It’s quite long, I hope the level of detail is helpful.
Day 1
– woke up 5:15am, calm and low level vocalizations
– started crying at 5:45am, went in and baby started smiling, diaper change in crib, immediate crying
– gave a 5oz bottle shortly after 6am, fell asleep on top-up 2oz bottle at 6:30am (finished the whole thing)
– slept until 8:15am
– +++
– hunger cues and 5oz bottle at 8:45am
– hunger cues at 10:10am
– started drifting off towards end of 5oz bottle
– calm during diaper change, but started crying when being put in sleep sack, couldn’t be calmed with soothing
– in crib at 10:30am, hard crying
– asleep at 10:47am, woke up at 11:55am
+++
– 5oz bottle on waking up
– hunger cues at 1:50pm
– started drifting off towards end of 5oz bottle, upset during burping and taking him upstairs to his room
– put him in sleep sack at 2:05pm, and he was calm, but suddenly wide awake and chatting/gurgling
– started loudly crying at 2:15pm, asleep at 2:30pm
– woke up crying hard at 2:55pm
+++
– had another 5oz bottle, finished it
– went outside for an afternoon walk at 3:30pm, fell asleep on way home in pram for 10mins (5pm)
+++
– drowsy signs at 5:50pm
– finished half his 5oz bedtime bottle before slowing down and drifting off
– put him in his crib, brief protest but almost immediately to sleep at 6:15pm
Day 2
– woke up at 5:50am, calm, got him up at 6am
– at 7:45 went from playing happily to crying hard, gave him a 5oz bottle which he almost finished before drifting off
– in crib at 8:03am, crying hard, asleep at 8:20am
– woke up at 8:50am, relatively calm
+++
– hunger cues and 5oz bottle at 9:35am
– hunger cues and 5oz bottle at 11am, started drifting off towards the end
– in crib at 11:10am, crying for 10mins and sleeping at 11:20am
– woke up at 12:40pm
+++
– 5oz bottle on waking
– hunger cues and 5oz bottle at 2:30, started drifting off towards the middle of the bottle
– in crib at 2:50pm, crying, asleep at 3:28pm, woke up at 3:48pm
+++
– 5oz bottle on waking
– drowsy signs at 5:10pm
– falling asleep on bedtime bottle, in crib at 5:45pm, sleeping shortly after with no crying
Day 3 (lost track of feeding schedule)
– woke up at 5:45am, calm, got him up at 6am, 8oz bottle
– drowsy signs at 7:35am
– in crib by 7:45am, short crying, sleeping at 7:50am
– woke up at 8:20am, some fussing, back asleep at 8:25am, slept until 9:10am
+++
– 5oz bottle at 10:15am
– must have missed drowsy signs, seems like he immediately started fussing at 11:25am
– in crib at 11:30am, crying, asleep at 11:45am
– woke up at 12:30pm, came into room to a leaking diaper
+++
– what we thought were drowsy signs at 2pm but his cries during attempted nap sounded like hunger cries (different from his other cries)
– gave him a bottle at 2:30pm, got drowsy towards the end
– put him back in crib at 3:05pm, no crying and asleep at 3:18pm
+++
– woke up at 3:45pm
– tired signs at 5:30pm, in crib at 5:50pm, asleep by 6pm with no crying
Day 4 (today)
Woke up at 5:25am this morning, pretty chipper. Went into his room and kept lights low for a feeding. Put him in crib at 6:10am, he just calmly hung out until falling asleep at 6:45am.
Thank you for the detailed report. Is it possible that sometimes what you describe as hunger cues are drowsy signs? If so, this comment might make sense for both ‘hunger cues’ and drowsy signs: Looking at your data, try to anticipate when he will become drowsy, especially at night, in order to shorten the interval between the onset of drowsy signs and falling asleep. For example, on Night 2, “drowsy signs at 5:10pm” but the falling asleep time was shortly after 5:45. My general suggestion is to strive for an earlier falling asleep time at night. Another idea is to view early morning sleeps as shown on Day 1 as a continuation of night sleep and not a nap. Then, the day starts at 8:15am, not 5:45am, and try to have a morning nap around 9ish every morning. The first nap rhythm develops before the second nap rhythm so focus on trying to get a nap around 9am every morning. It it’s a bit earlier, so be it. Then be more relaxed about the timing of the other naps. How does this sound?
Thank you, we’ll give that a try! He’s been a lot more chill today, I wonder if he’s been going through a growth spurt. He’s a little less ravenous than usual today.
No, growth spurt is bogus.
Good Morning Dr.Weissbluth
Thank you for taking the time to answer the questions in the comments. It must be very time consuming.
I am proud to say we have successfully trained baby using your extinction tips over the last 4 nights. However, since about a week before starting the training naps have gone from 2hrs to 18-30 minutes. I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I will leave his schedule below.
4 month old (19 weeks today born at 38^6)
6:30-6:40am wake up
Nap 1: 8:00am
Nap 2: around 12 or 12:30pm
Nap 3: around 3pm
Bedtime at 6:30pm
Dream feed at 10:30pm
Wake up at 6:30am (sometimes I have to wake him up because he doesn’t wake up at 6:30am automatically)
Question: do we need to adjust his schedule ? I am not sure how to do extinction with naps if he is only sleeping 18 minutes. We only try for 1 hour to do extinction during naps but he is very difficult to put back to sleep after. I feel like we waste the entire nap time trying to nap and then when he does eventually fall asleep I can only let him sleep for 1 hr so that we can take his other naps on time.
Please describe his mood and behavior between 5:30-6:30pm when he is alone (no screens or parental involvement).
Thank you for your response ! By 5:30pm he is usually cranky or crying if we are not interacting with him. Today we did his 3rd nap 3:30pm-4:30pm. By 5:10pm he was already crying.
“By 5:30pm he is usually cranky or crying if we are not interacting with him” tells you that his bedtime is too late.
Here are my suggestions:
No new nap begins after 3pm. If he is asleep then, do not wake him.
Do bathing, feeding, soothing, so you are leaving the room (lights out) at 5:30 pm.
Try to leave him drowsy but awake at 5;30pm.
Feed him at night once at least 4 or more hours after his last feeding and a second time early in the morning, if needed. In between feedings, choose a sleep solution that comports with your values. Are you breast, formula, or mixed feeding?
Keep the intervals of wakefulness brief during the day and nap him based on drowsy signs.
How does this sound?
Thank you for your response Dr. Weissbluth!
This sounds like a great plan.
We give him Breastmilk only but always in a bottle.
To recap it sounds like we are moving to 2 naps and bedtime at 5:30pm. Each nap no longer than 2 hours if he allows.
Please do not cap naps.
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
Our son is 5 months old and sleeps pretty well at night. Recently we get 7-10 hours before feeding and then right back to sleep for another hour or two. The problem is he will not nap longer than 30-40 minutes. He falls asleep on his own but wakes and won’t go back to sleep unless I go in and hold him. If I hold him he will easily nap for 1-2 hours.
What can I do to get him to nap longer on his own?
What is the usual time he falls asleep at night?
What are the usual times of his naps?
He is 5.5 months old. He usually falls asleep about 6:30 pm. Wakes between 2am and 5am. Eat and back to sleep.
Wake up time is set for 7:30 am. Sometimes he is up before that and we leave him in his crib until 7:30 am. He is usually calm and plays with himself or rests.
His first nap consistently starts at 9am.
Second nap we aim for 12pm but the short first nap might mean he’s ready to nap again around 11:30am. After the second nap we just go based on drowsy signs for another nap or two before bedtime routine starts. He is getting 1-2 hours of nap sleep unless I hold him or save a nap with holding.
Bedtime routine begins at 5:45 pm with a bottle. Then a bath. Then sleep around 6:30 pm.
Thanks for your response!
As a side question, does teething cause day or night sleep issues?
Please read the first few chapters of my book to better understand why your attempt to schedule his sleep will fail and his current sleep issue will worsen.
I realize teething does not cause sleep issues after I indexed it to page 568-569 of your book now. I have your book and will reread the first five chapters. I am not sure exactly what to look for though. We have an early bedtime, instituted the nap drill, follow a standard nap schedule aiming for 9 am and 12-1pm for second nap, follow drowsy signs, and have a dark room with sound machine. I do drowsy but awake and he has learned self soothing pretty well. At night I only feed once because he is hungry.
I’m really at a loss of ideas besides trying the even earlier bedtime of maybe 530pm. I have seen you instruct others in similar situation of short naps to do this.
Should I try this? Is the bedtime too late?
Is the wake up time schedule a problem? Should he be up earlier and I shouldn’t leave him in his crib?
Sorry, when you asked about teething, and you wrote:”Wake up time is set for 7:30 am. Sometimes he is up before that and we leave him in his crib until 7:30 am…Second nap we aim for 12pm but the short first nap might mean he’s ready to nap again around 11:30am.” which suggested to me that you were trying to maintain a sleep schedule according to clock time.
Because naps are well developed by 6 months of age and your child has self-soothing skills at night, I suggest that:
1. Try to obtain naps based on drowsy cues more than clock time for now.
2. Stop trying to prolong naps by holding him ( this might cause a nap problem later).
3. If he is asleep at 3 pm, do not wake him but don’t let a new nap begin after 3pm.
4. Try a temporary lights out policy at 5:30pm for 5-10 nights (you have bathed, fed, and soothed him and are leaving the room at 5:30 pm).
Expect naps to become more regular and longer and perhaps when the do, the bedtime will become a little later.
How does this sound?
Apologies for the confusion. I will follow this plan you suggested. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Hello Dr. Weissbluth. We have now completed 7 nights of early 5:30 PM bedtime in the plan you suggested above to help our son increase his nap duration. As a reminder they are typically 30-40 minutes. I am following drowsy signs and not the clock. No more holding for any naps at all was strictly followed too. Here is the data and observations.
My 5.5 month old son goes to sleep easily at the 5:30 PM time. He is usually very sleepy at this time (usually due to missing the third nap). He averages 12h32m of night sleep over 7 days. The duration of night sleep before a feed and diaper change are:
Night 1, 12h9m
Night 2, 12h5m
Night 3, 7h17m
Night 4, 9h0m
Night 5, 8h46m
Night 6, 7h46m
Night 7, 8h39m
The data showing his night sleep seems to be worsening. After each of the above times he wakes, eats and diaper change, then back to sleep and wakes again between 6:00 AM and 7:15 AM. (On night 6 he had two wake ups at 1:18 AM and 5:24 AM).
Now for the nap data. Average nap length is 38 minutes. He is averaging 1h50m of nap time per day (this totals to 14h22m of total sleep average over 24 period). The naps have not changed much and had a range of 19-49 minutes. Subtle soothing and even picking him up to soothe to extend them never works. He is taking 2-3 naps with the third one being missed a lot. He will not go to sleep before the 3:00 PM cutoff for a last nap a lot of the days even though he is sleepy at 2:30 PM (If I were to hold him he would take this nap). This leads to him being very tired before bed because he has been awake since the second nap which will end around 1 PM depending on when it started.
He seems more difficult to get to fall asleep for naps now too. I have to go in and replace his pacifier multiple times and soothe him a lot more than I used to for naps. And his nights seem to be worsening. His mood throughout the day seems worse now too. He gets fussy a lot easier now.
I know I must be doing something wrong, but I cannot figure it out. I follow the best practices of drowsy but awake, his sleep environment is perfect, he’s fed and clean. I focus on not missing drowsy signs and not mistaking fatigue for drowsy too. Sometimes I think I may have a genetically short napper as you point out in your book. But then that doesn’t seem right to me because his mood is worse, suggesting he’s not getting the day sleep he needs (under 2 hours per day).
All I can think to do now is return to holding him for some naps to extend them so he gets enough nap time, and he will get his happiness back. This is probably a bad idea and will create future sleep problems, but I do not know what else to do. Am I just doing a bad job at drowsy sign recognition? I studied them to make sure I know what to look for, but does this narrative suggest I may just be bad at recognizing drowsy signs?
Do you have any further suggestions? I have a lot of data I can share in detail but don’t know if it would help in figuring out the problem.
“The data showing his night sleep seems to be worsening…He will not go to sleep before the 3:00 PM cutoff for a last nap a lot of the days even though he is sleepy at 2:30 PM (If I were to hold him he would take this nap). This leads to him being very tired before bed because he has been awake since the second nap which will end around 1 PM depending on when it started…He seems more difficult to get to fall asleep for naps now too. I have to go in and replace his pacifier multiple times and soothe him a lot more than I used to for naps. And his nights seem to be worsening. His mood throughout the day seems worse now too. He gets fussy a lot easier now.”
At 6 months of age, about 16% of infants are taking 3 naps. I am sorry that the attempt to go to 2 naps has made matters worse. Because of your meticulous observations and record keeping, I suggest that we temporarily abandon this effort and do the following for 5 days only:
1. Allow 3 naps to occur. To encourage self soothing, I would suggest you do not really change the routine for the first two naps.
2. Let a 3rd nap occur whenever he appears drowsy in the late afternoon, even hold him for the nap or to extend the nap. Now we will abandon the strict 5:30 pm bedtime and because of the variability of this 3rd nap, the bedtime will vary. The bedtime is based on drowsy signs and do not wake him in the morning.
The hope is that by getting more day sleep, he will be a lower level of neurological arousal at bedtime at night and night sleep duration will lengthen, it will be easier to fall asleep at night, and his mood will improve. By the end of 5 days we will know whether he is improving and if not, we will consider other possibilities.
Perhaps in the near future, 2-4 weeks we will return to the original plan of trying for just 2 naps.
If you have any suspicion that something else might be contributing to his decreased mood (changes in eating, temperature, motor activity, etc.) these past few days, please consult with your pediatrician.
How does this sound?
Dr. Weissbluth, I will switch to this plan for the next few days to help him get the day sleep he needs. I have a follow up question. Will holding him to allow a third nap or extend the third nap possibly cause another sleep issue? In other words will this make nap 1 and 2 more difficult for him to do on his own in his crib or will he develop into wanting to be held for all of his naps? Right now proper day sleep is most important so I will hold to extend the third nap as needed.
Yes, it might. But for now, the priority is to restore sleep and not worry about habit formation.
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
An update on the return to three naps with holding for the third nap.
He is going to bed about 6-620 PM now. He wakes one time between 230 and 4 AM and feeds for 9-10 minutes. Then back to sleep and wakes about 630-715 AM.
On 6/16 night he didn’t go back to sleep for an hour though (awake from 310 to 410 AM).
On 6/12 night he woke from 1230AM to 120 AM
slept for 20 min
awake from 145AM to 230AM
slept for 2h45min
awake from 518 AM to 533AM
slept for 55 min
wakeup at 640 AM
Even with these two bumps, I think his night sleep is getting better since the 530 PM early bedtime trial.
Here are his averages for the past 7 days. 14h22min total sleep, 2h32min day sleep, 11h49min night sleep. Your thoughts on these numbers?
I think the nap total is still a little low. Naps 1 (starts 9-930AM range) and 2 (starts 11AM-12PM range) continue to be 30-40min alone in crib. Nap 3 (starts 2-330PM range) is 30min then I go hold him when he wakes for about another hour.
Some naps he falls asleep very quickly and others he cries and it takes 20-30 minutes to sleep.
His mood seems to have improved although he still is slightly fussy after a short nap probably because he wants to sleep longer but can’t on his own.
Do you have any ideas on why his naps are still short? Has he not learned to connect his nap cycles? I know he can at night because he sleeps for hours.
Is there anything else I can try or will I just have to wait for him to extend his naps on his own as he gets older?
When will he be 6 months old?
Did he have colic when younger?
He will be 6 months on 6/21. He was born at 39 weeks. He did fuss some when younger but I do not think he had colic (first baby so I have no comparison). In his first few months he could nap for 1-2 hours anywhere without much issue like I read most newborns do.
Night sleep is not a problem and “I think his night sleep is getting better since the 530 PM early bedtime trial…His mood seems to have improved…” should give you optimism that naps will improve. Between now and 9 months of age, the 3rd nap disappears and often the bedtime is temporarily moved a bit earlier. For now, because of some suggestion of improvement, I would stay the course. But in a few weeks or months, I suggest that you try again for only two naps and maybe a little earlier bedtime and no holding for naps. I wish I could be more precise or definite. Are you OK with this?
Sure thing. I will work with what he allows. One other question about transition from two to three naps…if the nap length doesn’t improve to at least an hour, how could I go to two naps a day? He would not being getting enough naptime during the day right?
Dear Marc,
we were already in contact regarding the sleep problems of my older child and I appreciated your help very much! Unexpectedly, I am an exhausted mum again with my second baby. L is now 7 months old (calculated from the due date). The first 4 months L’s was a good sleeper, pretty much as you describe in your book. He can fall asleep by himself and I implemented an early bedtime (depending on the afternoon nap the bedtime for evening varied between 6 and 8 o’clock). I used an earlier bedtime as trouble shooting.
With the age of 4 months, he started to get up at 4 o’clock. I tried to ignore him, I used white noise, made the sleeping room as dark as possible, but it does not help. Then, a vicious circle started that I am not able to stop. He is very tired in the morning and falls asleep early between 6 and 8 am either for a short nap of 30 mins or for a long sleep around 1,5-3 hours. Then, we did not find a way in a nap rhythm in line with the biological clock. When he wakes up between 11 and 12 o’clock there is no midday nap. He falls asleep then around 3 o’clock and sleeps again around 1,5 hours. This happens because I followed the rule “Never wake a sleeping baby” and “Follow his signs of being tired”. I am very afraid of an overtired baby, because that was really a big problem with his brother at that age. Now, things get worse. Since one week, he has long periods of being awake in the middle of the night instead of getting up early in the morning. I assume this happens because of the irregular nap times or do you have another idea? How can I get back in rhythm? I tried to put him to bed later, but he falls asleep almost everywhere and cries if I try to entertain him to keep him awake. Should I let him do a short sleep (usually, outside his bed he sleeps only 30 mins) and then, let him do the next sleep at the correct time in his bed? However, sometimes, he was overtired then and slept again only 30 mins. If he sleeps long at an irregular time, should I wake him up? But after how many mins sleep?
Thanks very much in advance!
Bye for now
I write, Never wake a sleeping baby, except when you are trying to fix a sleeping problem by changing the sleep schedule. Here are some suggestions:
Start on a Friday night so that your husband can help on the weekend because you have 2 children. Perhaps hire someone or use a relative to help care for your older child during the weekend.
The attempt is to impose on him an age-appropriate sleep schedule which will require more parental soothing and distraction to prevent crying.
Then and for the next few nights, use a 7:00pm bedtime to help prevent early wake up times. Do extinction over night. Do not go to him until about 5-6am (start of day)
Do not let him sleep until about 9am (maybe 8:30 is the best you can do). Do not let him sleep more than 2 hours. Review “Nap Drill” in my book.
Do not let him sleep after this attempted nap until 12-2pm when you try another nap attempt (maybe 11:30 is the best you can do). Do not let him sleep more than 2 hours.
No 3rd nap.
Record sleep times, crying, mood, and behavior.
The weekend will be difficult for everyone but hopefully by Monday, there will be some improvement and/or clarity on how to modify these suggestions for more success.
How does this sound?
Dear Marc,
thanks for your answer. Honestly, I dont like extinction. We did it with our older son and it was a nightmare. It lasted much, much longer than 3-7 days and was very distressing for all of us. I will consider extinction with parental presence as a last option, if I am not successful with other methods. I will follow your suggestions regarding the timing. Do you have a suggestion what we can do instead of extinction?
All the best and thanks very much!
Understood.
How about ‘graduated extinction’ or ‘check and console’ as described in my book?
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
T here again. It’s been a month or so since we discussed my son’s short nap problems above. He is still sleeping well at night, 10-12 hours usually without wakeup from 6-630pm to about 630-7 am. Sometimes he wakes randomly at 4 or 5am but giving him his pacifier back he goes right back to sleep. Although one night he woke from 3-415 am, played with his hands and pacifier then went back to sleep with no crying or intervention at all.
Naps have still not lengthened. He is very easy to get to sleep though with minimal soothing. We have gotten an occasional 1 or 1.5 hour nap but not many. We try for age appropriate 2.5 to 3.5 hour wake windows as he is 7 months and 4 days old. First window 2-2.5 hours, Second and third windows 3-3.25 hours. He is still doing 3 naps a day mostly because they are only 30-45 minutes. Every nap he starts to move/fidget with his hands and sleep sack at about 30 minutes and then doesn’t return to sleep (he has a couple times and we get the random long nap). He wakes up and rolls around. Soothing back to sleep in the chair works but as soon as I put him in the crib again he wakes up.
Will naps ever increase in duration? He’s barely getting 2 hours of day sleep and is fussy within 1.5 hours of waking from his naps. Is he getting too much night sleep? I don’t want to go back to holding him for the second half of his naps to extend them. I suspect I am still doing something wrong but I cannot figure it out and it is driving me crazy knowing that I am failing my son.
Please help if you have any ideas.
Please clarify:”We try for age appropriate 2.5 to 3.5 hour wake windows” suggests that you are using clock times as a guide for naps. Is this the case? Or, are you only using drowsy signs as a guide for naps? Or both?
We use drowsy signs but aim for 9-930 am first nap start time. And 12-1 pm second nap start time. If he is drowsy or fussy before these times though (which he usually is around 830-845 and 11-1130) we go ahead and start the nap. Usually the drowsy and fussy signs start only after 1.5 hours of wake time but he should be having longer windows for his age from my understanding. I’ve tried recreating the scenarios and timing where he did have the random 1-1.5 hour naps but it doesn’t work. At this point I know he is likely to be a two nap baby based on the statistics, but it seems he’s a three short nap baby due to my struggles to figure him out.
Please describe in detail drowsy signs you observe before a nap?
How often is he fussy before a nap?
His drowsy signs include rubbing eyes, grabbing ear, or grabbing top/back of his head. At about 1.5 hours awake he will yawn sometimes and we will usually go start the first nap. During play in the first window without a parent interacting he will start to fuss around the 1.5 hour mark too. His diaper is clean and he’s been fed so I rule those out. I can force him to stay awake longer by distracting him with a walk outside and he doesn’t fuss during the walk. But I dont think this is what I should do since the longer wake window didn’t make his nap longer when I tested it. I knew it wouldn’t but I tried anyways. He is basically fussy before every nap but he always goes to sleep within 5-10 minutes of light soothing. And the drowsy but awake transfer to crib has no problems ever.
We have suspected maybe we put him down too early for the naps and he is getting a “false start”. But when we tried to extend the wake window to be sure we are not having false starts, it didn’t work. Still short naps. To summarize, I usually do short windows based on these drowsy signs. I tried extending windows to see if it was false start but that didn’t work either.
Please read Blog Posts 9, 83, 171, and 172 to fully appreciate the mistake that you have made and how to correct it. Let me know if you do not see the solution.
Dr. Weissbluth,
I read the blog posts and watched a few videos of fatigued and drowsy babies. It seems to me that I am mistaking fatigue signs for drowsy signs. I am starting to soothe him too late and not starting the nap in time. This has led to a chronic fatigued and overtired state since it has been going on for months. Do you agree?
I am going to pay as close attention as possible for his drowsy signs (which I dont think he shows much of due to his lack of sleep). I am going to follow the advice in the blogs and start soothing 10-20 minutes sooner than usual. Is this ok even if it’s only been an hour since he woke up? Also, if I implement this solution correctly, should I expect naps to lengthen after a few days? Weeks? I hope this will help his naps lengthen.
Please correct me if I am wrong about any of what I said.
You are 100% absolutely correct!
“It seems to me that I am mistaking fatigue signs for drowsy signs. I am starting to soothe him too late and not starting the nap in time. This has led to a chronic fatigued and overtired state since it has been going on for months. Do you agree?” YES.
“I dont think he shows much of due to his lack of sleep. YES
“I am going to follow the advice in the blogs and start soothing 10-20 minutes sooner than usual. Is this ok even if it’s only been an hour since he woke up? YES.
Please also consider temporarily playing with a slightly earlier bedtime, even 10-20 minutes earlier might help.
My expectation is that you might see improvement in the first nap over several days and maybe after a little longer, the second nap.
Congratulations on making this dramatic change. Please give me a follow up in a few days.
Dr. Weissbluth, here is my attempt at starting to soothe for naps 15-20 minutes sooner than usual and adding in a 530ish pm bedtime. I am essentially beginning soothing anytime I see drowsy signs which don’t really exist because of his chronic fatigue. He is barely able to be awake for an hour without getting mad. His mood seems to be getting worse. I have a lot of data to share below if you have time to analyze it. And some notes at the end
7/26 NIGHT SLEEP 525pm-619am (12h54m)
7/27 day
NAP 1. 805am-830am (25m) No crying. Nap started fine (under 10 min to sleep). Then woke up on all fours after 25m. Rocked and soothe him 10-15 min back to sleep. Laid in crib and instant wake up. Nap over. Woke up content.
NAP 2. 1037am-1114am (37m) No crying. Soothed and in crib. Started to roll and crawl around. Had to go back in and soothe after lay down. Asleep after about 15 minutes in crib. Woke after 37m. Hands fidget and then on belly doing pushups. Left him in there until 1125am but didn’t go back to sleep. Woke up happy initially. After 30m awake he was rubbing eyes and head. Seemed fatigued still.
NAP ATTEMPT 1145am. Soothed until 1206pm. Laid in crib. Instant wake up. Nap fail
NAP 3. 114pm-155pm (41m) Nap attempt started 1245pm. Crib at 1254pm. Failed. Soothed again 1256pm. Crib at 110pm. Asleep at 114pm. At 155pm flung himself from side sleeping to his back and now awake. Woke up content.
NAP ATTEMPT 405pm. Soothed for 20m. Rolled around as soon as set in crib and playing. Nap failed. Soothed again but still failed. Smiling after failed attempts but rubbing eyes shortly after.
7/27 NIGHT
SLEEP. 546pm-645am (12h59m). Fussy before sleep, rubbing eyes and ears. Soothe started about 530pm. Rolled around in crib about 15 minutes then just stopped and went to sleep at 546pm.
Total nap sleep 1h44m. Night sleep 12h59m
7/28 DAY
AWAKE at 645am. Happy.
NAP 1. 843am-906am (24m) Soothe and rocking began 819am. In crib 828am almost asleep. Rolled to belly started crawling and pushups. Back in to rock at 831am. In crib again at 842am. Sleep 843am. Went in at 915 to try to extend nap. Rocked until 937am (drowsy eyes in and out of close and open). Transfer to crib at 935. Eyes instantly opened and roll to belly. Rolling around. Extension attempt failed. Happy before and after nap.
NAP ATTEMPT 1032am. Soothe from 1015-1030. Transfer to crib. Failed.
NAP 2. 1110am-1146am (36m) No crying. Soothe start 11am. Transfer to crib 1110am. Shifted to belly and asleep. Woke up content and smiling.
NAP 3. 208pm-243pm (35m) Soothe start at 202pm. In crib at 208pm. Asleep. Woke up on belly, head raised. Crawling rolling and playing.
7/28 NIGHT
SLEEP. 540pm-555am (12h15m) Soothing start at 507pm. Crib at 513pm. Rolling a lot. 527pm still awake playing with pacifier. 532pm went in and gave new pacifier. 537pm calm almost asleep. 540pm asleep. 5am active but still seemed asleep. 555am doing pushups and awake. Happy at wakeup.
Total nap sleep 1h37m. Night sleep 12h15m
7/29 DAY
AWAKE at 555am. Left in crib to see if return to sleep. Calm and sort of returned to sleep but not really. Got him up after I pumped at 710am. Awake and happy when I went in. 731am changing diaper, he was fussy and yawned. Slight face rub.
NAP 1. 817am-841am (24m) Soothe began at 741am. Almost asleep during rocking at 751am. Crib transfer, instantly awake and rocking/crawling on all fours. Picked up immediately. Closing eyes again. Transfer again at 757am. Instantly awake again and babbling. 807am try again soothing. 817am transfer to crib and asleep. Awake 841am. Try to extend nap and soothe at 851am. Going back to sleep in arms rocking. 906am asleep and still rocking him. Transfer at 909 instantly awake and rolling. Ended nap.
WAKE TIME. Seems happy. 930am yawning. Tried feeding baby cereal at 935am. Refusing it and getting very mad. Change diaper at 945am, fussy and rubbing face.
NAP 2. 1011am-1042am (32m) Start attempt at 947am. Rubbing eyes while rocking and soothing at 953am. Asleep in arms at 959am. Crib transfer instantly rolled to belly and playing/rolling/crawling. Picked up to soothe again. Crib transfer again at 1011am. Asleep. Woke up rolling around at 1042am. Still messing around in crib at 1050am. Nap over. Got him up at 1054am.
NAP 3. 1256pm-144pm (49m) Soothe rocking begin 1205. Eyes closing 1215pm. Crib transfer at 1218pm. Instantly rolls to belly, doing pushups and messing around with pacifier. Left alone still messing around at 1236pm and now on back less movement but is fussing/crying. Still fidgeting around at 1238pm. Gave pacifier at 1245pm. 1251pm laying on back staring at ceiling not moving. 1253pm eyes closed. Eyes open a minute later but closing again. 101pm asleep but shifting to get comfortable on belly legs tucked up. 105pm moved again. 108pm still asleep in a very awkward position. 134pm rolled to side and hands fidgeting with sleep sack. 137pm stopped fidgeting. Seemed to make it thru the fidgeting. 144pm awake. Left in crib rolling around/on all fours until 205pm went and got him.
WAKE TIME. Wake mood at 3-310 is happy, smiling, giggling.
NAP 4. 411pm-453pm (43m) Soothing start 330pm. 335pm transfer to crib eyes opened as soon as stood up from chair. Instantly to belly and rolling/crawling. 355pm gave paci back because crying from dropping it. 4pm still rolling and fussing some. 405pm still crying so gave paci again. Eyes closing 408pm. Asleep at 412pm. 413 flung to belly and asleep. Head turned other side at 453pm. Paci out at 454pm. Awake 455. Got him up. Big yawn 504pm.
7/29 NIGHT
SLEEP 7pm-547am (10h47m) Later bedtime due to fourth nap. In crib 632pm. Rolling around on belly playing with binky until 7 pm asleep. Awake 547am. Gave paci back but never went back to sleep.
Some notes to consider. For naps and night sleep, he never really cries or fusses during soothing or when I put him in the crib or leave him in it for a while. He just starts playing around, rolling, etc. Before starting this earlier soothing, he would go to sleep instantly in his crib for naps (super fatigued I guess). But now, he is rolling/playing/crawling every time I transfer to crib.
Once out of crib with toys, activity, he will play on his own but after about 30 min to 1 hour awake, he gets fussy, some face/eye rubbing. Nap 1 is shorter than usual now. Usually always goes over 30min. Now Nap 1 is about 25min. Night sleep beginning around 530pm now. Before trying this solution, night sleep began about 630pm.
I really do not understand how his napping is so bad, but his night sleep is almost perfect. If sleep begets sleep and bad sleep begets bad sleep, how is he having terrible naps but good nights? I have never been unable to figure something out or fix something in my life until now, and it is infuriating me that I am failing my son. He is so unhappy all the time.
Should I start holding him to get him in two long (1-2hr) nap routine and help get rid of the fatigue. Then try the naps alone again after a few days? Is there a way to maybe reset him?
I have read carefully your report and again, please be optimistic because night sleep is going so well.
On 7/29, his 4th nap (43 minutes) ended at $:53pm and he had a big yawn at 5:04pm. I think trying a 5:30pm bedtime would have been better than the 7pm bedtime in order to protect night sleep duration.
Has there been any change in his mood or behavior during this trial?
Would it be possible for your husband to do major nap duty and you leave the house on a week-end to see if that helps?
When was the last time, and for how many day, did you do the holding him to get long naps in an attempt to decrease fatigue and how did it go.
Could you also provide a summary of night and total day sleep duration by date so we can see the the big picture?
I forgot to add the night of 7/29 I had to go in and give him his paci at 1109pm. He went right back to sleep.
And NAP4 on 7/29 He was very sad and fussy upon waking up at 454pm when I went in to greet him.
Thanks for reading all of that.
During this trial he seems to have gotten more fussy and less able to be on his own playing. When holding him, especially later in the afternoon he wants to be walked around instead of sitting. He will fuss a lot if I sit when holding him unless I distract him by throwing the ball for the dogs inside. He watches them run with the ball and it distracts him.
My husband is taking all of next week off from work to try to help fix his nap problem. What do you mean by “leave the house”? Stay outside of the house during naps completely? Only go outside while husband trying to put him down for the naps? Leave my neighborhood? Gone for 24 hours all day? I will do anything to fix this.
I have not held him for any naps for a while, probably over a month ago. And I was inconsistent when I did hold him because I really wanted him to do the naps in his crib and hoped they would lengthen (We have had the occasional long nap on his own but very rare in the past) I do think when I make his naps longer (1-2 hr) by holding him he wakes up in a better mood and fusses less.
Summary of sleep duration for my 7-month-old for the past two weeks. Hope this is what you asked for. I have many more weeks of data too.
7/13 Total sleep 12h18m Night 10h1m Nap 2h17m 3 naps (4 really, as 1 nap was broken and I got him back to sleep)
7/14 Total sleep 15h48m Night 12h16m Nap 3h32m 2 naps. Random 2h37m nap
7/15 Total sleep 14h34m Night 12h11m Nap 2h23m 3 naps (5 really, as 2 naps were broken and I got him back to sleep)
7/16 Total sleep 15h50m Night 12h46m Nap 3h4m 3 naps (4 really, as 1 was broken)
7/17 Total sleep 14h35m Night 12h24m Nap 2h11m 3 naps
7/18 Total sleep 14h21m Night 11h25m Nap 2h56m 3 naps
7/19 Total sleep 14h51m Night 12h54m Nap 1h57m 3 naps
7/20 Total sleep 14h5m Night 11h15m Nap 2h50m Best day so far. 1st nap 1h34m. 2nd 1h16m
7/21 Total sleep 14h16m Night 12h17m Nap 1h59m 2 naps ( (3 really, as 1 was broken)
7/22 Total sleep 14h14m Night 12h5m Nap 2h9m Had random 1h25m nap
7/23 Total sleep 13h9m Night 11h27m Nap 1h42m 3 naps
7/24 Total sleep 13h41m Night 11h53m Nap 1h48m 3 naps
7/25 Total sleep 13h48m Night 12h25m Nap 1h23m 2 naps
7/26 Total sleep 14h42m Night 12h53m Nap 1h49m 3 naps. This is the night we started 530pm bed.
7/27 Total sleep 14h16m Night 12h59m Nap 1h47m 3 naps
7/28 Total sleep 13h52m Night 12h15m Nap 1h37m 3 naps
7/29 Total sleep 13h15m Night 10h47m Nap 2h28m 4 naps
7/30 so far. Awake at 547am. Nap 1 811am-851am(40m) Nap 2 1013am-1049am (36m)
At 6 months of age the average nap duration is 3.5 hours and at 9 months, 3.1 hours but the range is very wide. The great night sleep plus daytime fussiness suggests that the total daytime sleep is not enough. How about this week only, consistently do hold him or swing him to try to get more day sleep duration; then, next week, we switch gears. You leave the house and your husband tries the nap drill as described in my book. He is doing brief soothing (5-10 minutes), putting down drowsy but awake, and attempting to get a mid-morning and mid-day nap (no 3rd nap if possible and certainly no 3rd nap starts after 3:00pm). You are out of the house during the day: Do self-care, have fun, enjoy outdoor activities, and so forth and come home in the mid or late afternoon to relieve your husband and prepare for a 5;30ish bedtime. How does this sound? Is it doable? If so, review the nap drill with your husband because it is a little complicated; sorry.
This is doable since he is taking off work next week I can leave and he can do the nap drill. We will review the nap drill section. If this works and he naps well for my husband, I am concerned that when he returns to work my son will go back to not napping for me when I put him down?
I very much appreciate you taking the time to help us.
Dr. Weissbluth, here is my holding for naps data and summary for 7/31-8/4. On 8/5 we will begin the nap drill handled by my husband while I leave the house until bedtime routine for the week. Is there anything specific my husband should be looking out for to possibly help our son besides doing the nap drill for the entire week?
NOTES: Whenever he goes in crib and before falling asleep (naps and nights), he rolls/crawls all over, rocks back and forth on all fours, hand fidgets until he settles then falls asleep. Sometimes he fights being held like he wants to be put in crib to sleep alone.
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7/30 NIGHT 546pm-455am (11h9m) then 527am-710am (1h43m)
In crib at 532pm. Asleep at 546. Hand fidgeting 616pm. Back to sleep at 620pm. Awake 455am. Whimper/cry 505am. Gave binky 518am. Asleep 527am. Awake 710am.
7/31 DAY
NAP1 902am-934am (32m) then held 10-1018am (18m)
Soothe at 824am. Crib at 839am. Asleep at 902am. Movement 934am. Rolling, all fours, went in to hold and extend nap 935am. Still holding 954am wont close eyes but is relaxed. Sleep at 10am. Held. Awake at 1019am. Nap over.
NAP2 (mom held entire nap) 1153am-124pm (1h32m)
Soothe at 1143am. Held for nap. At some point he started to move in arms but being held he went back to sleep. Had to use restroom so crib transfer at 124pm (he was already starting to wake) and he woke up.
NAP3 354pm-423pm (30m)
Soothe at 324pm. Crib at 329pm since this is last nap. 346pm began to cry so gave paci back. Asleep at 354pm. Awake 423pm.
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7/31 NIGHT 637pm-5am (10h23m) then 542am-715am (1h33m)
Wouldn’t eat bottle. Late start to soothe. Soothe at 541pm. In crib at 542pm. Vocal/fussy 547pm. Gave paci back 558pm crying/rolling stopped. Settling 604 on side. Crawling around 627pm. Asleep 637pm. Woke 5 am. Cry 531am. Paci back 531am. Asleep 542am. Crawl 621am right back to sleep though. Awake 715am.
8/1 DAY
NAP1 (mom held entire nap) 901am-1111am (2h11m)
Soothe began 854am. Hands opening and closing 30m into nap. At 34m arm flung and knocked paci out, started to wake in arms. Rocking and replaced paci. 1106 still sleeping deep. Woke up very happy. Jolted at 30m 1h15m 1h30m
NAP2 (mom held) 154pm-225pm (31m) then 237pm-337pm (1h)
Soothe began 148pm. Asleep 154pm. Awake 225pm. 237pm asleep. 337 awake I got up transfer to crib to use restroom. Nap end.
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8/1 NIGHT 615pm-548am (11h33m)
Soothe 524 pm. Crib 527pm. Asleep at 615pm. Some whimpers at 340am but back to sleep at 346am. Awake 548am. Gave paci 613am. Never went back to sleep.
8/2 DAY
NAP1 (mom held entire nap) 837am-1019am (1h43m)
Soothe 833am. Asleep at 837am. Jolt at 920am. Jolt and deep breath at 945am. Lots of movement/adjusting 957am. 1002am eyes opened and movement. 1019am awake.
NAP2 (mom held entire nap) 1206pm-1214pm (8m) then 1232pm-237pm (2h4m)
Soothe start 1151am. Mad and didn’t want to be held. Set in crib 1155am. 1201pm picked up and soothe again. Still fighting some. Asleep 1206pm. Pooped 1214pm change diaper. Soothe again at 1222pm. Sleep 1232pm. Awake 237pm.
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8/2 NIGHT 550pm-507am (11h17m)
Soothe 525 pm. Crib 530pm. Still at 539pm. Crawling around 542pm. Asleep 550pm. Whimper/cry 936pm he crawled to his paci and put
it back in and asleep. Awake 507am. Gave paci 545am. Never went back to sleep.
8/3 DAY
NAP1 (dad held entire nap) 817am-1039am (2h22m)
Soothe 811am. Asleep at 817am. Movement 852am. Replaced paci a few times. He lifted legs a couple times. Transfer to crib 1037am. Awake 1038am.
NAP2 (dad held entire nap) 2pm-323pm (1h23m) Easy nap. Woke up pretty happy.
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8/3 NIGHT 614pm-550am (11h36m)
Got fussy didn’t want to finish bottle. Happy during bath though. Crying after bath didn’t want bottle still. Soothe 524 pm. Crib 528pm and stopped crying. Crawling all over. Crying/fussing 540pm. Asleep 614pm. Crying so gave paci back at 1114pm. 216am fussing until 223am then asleep. 554am fussing gave paci back wouldn’t go back to sleep. Bottle 620am. Soothe and back in crib 641am but no going back to sleep.
8/4 DAY
NAP1 (dad held entire nap) 841am-1105am (2h24m)
Soothe 836am. Asleep at 841am. 1105 transfer to crib while in a deep motionless sleep. Woke up within a minute of being put down.
NAP2 (dad held entire nap) 239pm-356pm (1h17m)
Soothe 235pm. Transfer to crib at 355pm. Awake 356pm.
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8/4 NIGHT 556pm-505am (11h9m)
Soothe 525pm. Crib 530pm. Rolling all over and very fussy almost crying. He was fussy a little before soothing. 544pm very fussy went in and gave paci. Asleep 556pm. Whimper 3am but no intervention. 518am gave paci back but never back to sleep.
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Summary of hours asleep.
7/30 Total sleep 15h32m Night 12h52m Nap 2h40m 4 naps no holding
7/31 Total sleep 14h48m Night 11h56m Nap 2h52m 3 naps holding started
8/1 Total sleep 15h15m Night 11h33m Nap 3h42m 2 naps held whole time
8/2 Total sleep 15h13m Night 11h17m Nap 3h56m 2 naps held whole time
8/3 Total sleep 15h21m Night 11h36m Nap 3h45m 2 naps held whole time
8/4 Total sleep 14h49m Night 11h8m Nap 3h41m 2 naps held whole time
The summary shows ample sleep, day and night, has there been any general change in mood or behavior?
“NOTES: Whenever he goes in crib and before falling asleep (naps and nights), he rolls/crawls all over, rocks back and forth on all fours, hand fidgets until he settles then falls asleep. Sometimes he fights being held like he wants to be put in crib to sleep alone.” In general, how long does this behavior last and has the duration of this behavior changed over the past 6 days?
Parents are not robots and therefore we are never 100% consistent, but encourage your husband to try to be 100% consistent with the nap drill for the next several days (and also, you too).
The extra sleep for naps since we have been holding him has improved his mood especially in the afternoon. Prior to us holding him for naps, when he only took 30-40 minute naps on his own, he would be fussy quickly after waking and impossible to put down (very fussy) during the pre bedtime wake period.
He will crawl around/ rock on hands and knees and be awake in his crib for 20-45 minutes before falling asleep at night since we started trying to correct his naps. Pretty consistent on this over the past 6 days for his bedtime. Prior to this, when we were mistaking fatigue signs for drowsy signs, he would go to sleep within 3-5 minutes of hitting the crib for naps and night sleep.
He went down for his first nap drill nap not long ago and went right to sleep. We will see how it goes and I will send nap drill data towards the end of the week. He usually does not have a problem going to sleep. He has the issue of staying asleep for long naps.
Thanks!
The nap drill might result in shorter nap durations, so watch for subtle drowsy signs around 4-5pm. Maybe he will be bathed, fed, and soothed with a lights out at night at 5:30pm (temporarily, earlier)
The nap drill might result in more restorative sleep, crib sleep versus sleep in mother’s arms, independent of nap duration, so watch for subtle drowsy signs around 4-5 pm and maybe the bedtime will be a little later.
Dr. Weissbluth here is the start of nap drill from dad. Mom left house until bedtime routine. I am sharing the first day to see if my husband is making any mistakes and how the day went.
Notes: Dad said baby wanted to keep sleeping during naps but wouldn’t go back to sleep. No soothing attempted upon wake up from nap periods (we have tried before it basically never works unless we hold him to extend the nap. Still seems somewhat fatigued throughout day. Last nap attempt was a struggle for baby as he cried for a time.
8/4 NIGHT 556pm-505am (11h9m)
8/5 DAY
NAP1 (nap drill) 745am-816am (30m)
Eye rubbing began 720am. Soothe 739am. Crib 742am. Asleep at 745am. 814am kicked and moved slightly. Eyes open/fidgeting at 30m in. 816am rolling/kicking. Appears to want to keep sleeping. 819-827am on side staring at door. 831am rolled to back then to side again and still staring. Appearing to not go back to sleep. 840am rolling more and kicking and on hands and knees. Ended nap period 841am for play time.
Happy at wakeup. Eye rub 935am (1h20m) after wake. 1034am might be ready for a nap.
NAP2 (nap drill) 1110am-1153am (43m)
Soothe 1053am. Easy to soothe and sleepy. Crib 1058am. Rolling/moving/crawling around till 1109am. 1110am stopped. Jolted at 1124am. Jolted awake at 1152am lifted head and now on all fours but still trying to sleep. Rolled from belly to back eyes open. Tugging at sleep sack. He put paci back in his mouth. Think he wants to sleep but cant go back. 1159am still and eyes might be closed but now hes rocking on hands again. 12pm kicking wall.
1243pm had some eye rubs. 130 started to get fussier and cry some. Wanted some milk and pretty sure ready for a nap.
NAP3 (nap drill) 243pm-325pm (43m)
Soothe 147pm. Groaning during soothing (just had bottle, maybe why). Crib 155pm. Eyes slightly open and staring. 159pm rolling and rocking on hands/knees. 206pm still on belly head up making noises. 210 rolling and now crying and paci fell out of crib. 224pm settling but still fussing. 226pm staring at door. 230pm still calm. 232pm crying/screaming. 239 eyes closed. Asleep 243pm. Woke up crying at 325pm.
Stopped crying and played some during wake. Got fussy around 415pm. Bedtime routine 445-515pm (bottle, book, bath) he was sleepy and lots of eye rubs.
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8/5 NIGHT 605pm-320am (9h15m) then 415am-554am (1h39m)
Soothe 524pm. Crib 527pm. Thought he was asleep at 537pm but started rolling and eyes open. 546pm on hands and knees. 602pm very close to asleep. 605 asleep. 320am fuss/groaning then rolling/hands and knees mixed with lying awake until 415am. 522am started to wake again so gave paci back. Continued to sleep until 554am woke up. Not sure how asleep he really was during this 522-554am time. Woke up happy. Playing by himself happy 650am.
Try to look at the big picture:
Nap 1
Asleep 7:45
Ended Nap 8:41
Rubbing eyes 9:35; might be ready for a nap at 10:34
Nap 2
In crib 10:58
The interval between 8:41 and 10:58 is about 2 hours and because the duration of sleep in Nap 1 is not long, I think the interval of wakefulness (about 2 hours) is too long.
For now, please shorten the interval of wakefulness between naps.
Please give me approximate sleep times without all the minute by minute detail so we can see the big picture; you may wish to record more detail for yourself.
Dr. Weissbluth, here is how the week went with my husband doing nap drill.
NOTES: A lot of 5pm bedtimes due to his last nap time ending too late for a pre-3pm nap but also ending too soon to stretch to a 530pm bedtime. This has caused earlier wakeups around 5am. Not ideal but okay if it would fix his naps. My husband did his best and failed on some of the wake periods being too long. Also, there were a few interruptions (AC repairman came right when he started to soothe him for a nap). One nap he cried for 50m before sleep. Usually, he goes to sleep within 20m of going in crib during this trial. While we did get two good naps throughout, it seems there is no reason to them. Or maybe nap drill needs more time. I’ll have to continue the nap drill if you think we should since my husband has to return to work.
8/5 DAY
NAP1 745am-816am (30m)
NAP2 1110am-1153am (43m).
NAP3 243pm-325pm (43m)
8/5 NIGHT 605pm-320am (9h15m) then 415am-554am (1h39m) TOTAL (10h54m)
8/6 DAY
NAP1 757am-841am (44m)
AWAKE 1h39m
NAP2 1020am-1048am (28m)
AWAKE 1h58m
NAP3 1246pm-119pm (33m)
AWAKE 3h41m. Tried NAP4 at 245pm failed.
8/6 NIGHT 500pm-729pm (2h29m) then 745pm-548am (10h3m) TOTAL (12h32m) Early bedtime due to NAP4 fail.
8/7 DAY
NAP1 734am-811am (38m)
AWAKE 1h56m
NAP2 1007am-1041am (35m)
AWAKE 2h5m
NAP3 1246pm-201pm (1h14m) leg stuck in crib slats screaming had to go move him 1241pm
AWAKE 3h6m
8/7 NIGHT 507pm-511am (12h3m) then 606am-630am (23m) TOTAL (12h26m)
8/8 DAY
NAP1 818am-847am (29m) then extended on own 905am-918am (13m) TOTAL (42m)
AWAKE 1h52m
NAP2 1110am-137pm (2h26m)
AWAKE 3h23m. Tried a NAP3 at 245pm but did not work.
8/8 NIGHT 501pm-511am (12h3m)
8/9 DAY
NAP1 732am-801am (29m) wanted to sleep more but couldn’t go back to sleep.
AWAKE 2h1m
NAP2 1002am-1036am (34m) interrupted start of soothing with AC repairman
AWAKE 2h21m
NAP3 1257pm-140pm (43m) this nap drill he rolled/fussed/screamed for 50m before falling asleep. Woke after 30m of sleep crying. Went in and gave paci immediately and left room. Returned to sleep for 13m.
Tried NAP4 at 235pm. Fussing. Screaming. No nap.
AWAKE 3h50m
8/9 NIGHT 530pm-448am (11h18m) then 605am-615am (13m) Crying during soothing very hard to get to sleep. Very overtired.
Summary of hours asleep.
8/5 Total sleep 12h52m Night 10h54m Nap 1h58m 3 naps.
8/6 Total sleep 14h17m Night 12h32m Nap 1h45m 3 naps. 4th failed
8/7 Total sleep 14h53m Night 12h26m Nap 2h27m 3 naps.
8/8 Total sleep 15h19m Night 12h11m Nap 3h8m 2 naps. 3rd failed
8/9 Total sleep 13h17m Night 11h31m Nap 1h46m 3 naps. 4th failed
It appears that on 8/7 and 8/8 the Nap duration was substantially longer than previously. The bedtimes on the nights before were 8/6 and and 8/7 were 5:00pm and 5:07pm. I know that there are many variables and the evidence is not dramatically strong but there is a suggestion of some improvement in naps (on 8/7 and 8/8) associated with super early bedtimes. Do you agree? If so, I would stay the course and anticipate that long naps will become more common and then later, the bedtime will become later. How does this sound?
I agree and I do plan to continue the nap drill (husband will be back at work) and 5pm bedtime. Since the wake periods are shorter, baby and I will continue to stay home to avoid too long of wakefulness. A couple questions as I continue.
Do I continue no nap start after 3pm? Its hard when he ends a nap at 130pm to make it to 5pm but also hard to get to sleep before 3pm.
Early bedtime has led to earlier wakeups (5am and sometimes a bit earlier). Do I start the day at these times or try to get him back to sleep?
How much affect will there be from mom doing nap drill now since dad has to go back to work?
We also have another baby due in February and my son will be 14 months at that time. I am worried about this issue still existing with two young children.
Thanks
Do I continue no nap start after 3pm? Yes, protect the early bedtime!
Early bedtime has led to earlier wakeups (5am and sometimes a bit earlier). Do I start the day at these times or try to get him back to sleep? Yes, if it’s easy and works sometimes. No, if there’s always a lot of crying and it rarely works.
How much affect will there be from mom doing nap drill now since dad has to go back to work? You should try to imitate Dad’s style and resist the temptation to hang out longer for more soothing.
We also have another baby due in February. Congratulations! Don’t worry; there’s plenty of time to sort things out.
Dr. Weissbluth, I am seeing some improvement with my son’s napping. He is taking some longer naps (over an hour) but still has some bad days,. Here is a subset of data for a few days illustrating this. On 8/20 Nap 1 was sadly ended by me to take him to a doctor appointment (no illness just a checkup) and is the reason he was awake so long between Nap 1 and Nap 2.
Past 7 day nap avg is 2h45m and night avg is 11h50m
8/14 Nap 1 745am-817am (32m) Nap 2 1032am-1215pm (1h42m) Nap 3 206pm-241pm (35m) Night 559pm-530am (11h30m)
8/15 Nap 1 714am-749am (36m) Nap 2 929am-1003am (34m) Nap 3 1202pm-1244pm (42m) Nap 4 fail Night 502pm-503am (12h1m)
8/16 Nap 1 715am-839am (1h25m) Nap 2 1022am-1146am (1h24m) Nap 3 159pm-228pm (29m) Night 558pm-510am (11h12m)
8/17 Nap 1 713am-752am (40m) Nap 2 948am-1017am (30m) Nap 3 1223pm-110pm (47m) Nap 4 fail Night 514pm-441am (11h27m)
8/18 Nap 1 629am-701am (32m) Nap 2 859am-931am (32m) Nap 3 1149am-1223pm (42m) Nap 4 258pm-328pm (30m) Night 612pm-557am (11h44m)
8/19 Nap 1 747am-909am (1h22m) Nap 2 1050am-1154am (1h4m) Nap 3 135pm-254pm (1h19m) Night 549pm-529am (11h40m)
8/20 Nap 1 704am-844am (1h40m) Nap 2 1223pm-201pm (1h38m) Night 507pm-603am (12h56m)
His naps seem to be irregular and hard to predict when or how long he will sleep. I hope he gets more consistent with long naps and can get on some sort of predictable pattern so I can take him out of the house more often without having to miss a nap and messing him up more. Also, he can be very active when I lay him door for his naps (lots of rolling, sitting up, playing with pacifier, etc.) and take 30 minutes or more to fall asleep occasionally. I usually put him in his crib after 1.5-1.75 hours awake after he gets quieter or I see and eye rub.
Do you notice anything from my data or have any additional suggestions? Otherwise I will continue what I am doing.
Thank you
Am I correct that he is 8 months old today?
Are the “Night” times shown the actual falling asleep times?
Congratulations on you and your husband’s accomplishments!
Here are 2 conflicting goals to keep in mind:
1. Nap quality is best when it occurs in synch with biological nap rhythms.
2. Keeping a child up past his drowsy time might make him hyperaroused and have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep.
My suggestion is to gradually and slowly attempt to delay his first nap so that eventually it begins around 9am with the expectation that the second nap will begin around 12-1pm.
Instead of putting him down when showing drowsy signs around 7ish am, keep him up a little. He will need extra soothing and maybe a longer nap time soothe to sleep because you have kept him up. Perhaps you will only focus on attempt to shift the first nap to about 9ish am and not attempt to schedule his second. nap for now and instead wait until the first nap has been shifted. Alternatively, given the variability of the timing and duration of this new first nap, you might also want to simultaneously attempt to have a second nap begin around 12-1pm. The key is to try not to keep him up so long that he is frantic and unable to take a decent nap. During your attempt to shift naps to midmorning and midday, there might be a third nap (but don’t let it start after 3pm to protect an early bedtime). By 9 months of age, there will be no 3rd nap. Expect some trial and error as you begin this attempt to schedule his naps and starting on a weekend with father doing nap duty might help. I cannot give you exact advice on how many minutes you should attempt to delay the first nap or how many days this might take, but because he has great night sleep duration, I think you might try to do this over several days. Once he is taking two major naps, perhaps the bedtime will be a little later and the wake-up time a little later.
How does this sound?
Yes he is 8 months today. All sleep start times are the times he fell asleep after rolling around/playing as monitored on the camera. We are very accurate on nap start and end times +/- 5m. We are very accurate on night sleep start +/-5m. If he wakes up during the night (not often but in the 2-4am time frame) we may not know every time unless he cries and we hear on the monitor. Wake times from night sleep are less accurate +/-15m.
I will try to follow this to get a nice nap schedule. It is difficult since sometimes he sleeps 5pm-5am and sometimes 6pm-6am. When wakeup is earlier he can barely make it to 8am. He still shows sleepy signs at the 1.5 hour marks and sometimes sooner.
We are still battling some short naps like today naps 1 and 2 have been 45m so hell need a third nap at least. But yesterday nap 1 was 41m and nap 2 was 2h23m. Nap 1 continues to stay less than an hour for the most part (around 30-45m).
Does your data suggest that a 6pm bedtime, in general, is better than a 5pm bedtime because he wakes up a little later? If so, I would try to keep that 6pm pattern in place so that he is more able to get towards 9am for his first nap. If that is the case, I would expect the morning nap to lengthen. Your thoughts?
We determine bedtime based on how the naps go and the drowsy signs. If he has a later nap or a 3rd nap the bedtime tends to be later towards 6pm. If we cannot get a nap to lineup well we usually hit 3 hours of wake time at 5pm and dont want to push him further than that. For example if he wakes at 230pm from a nap he is easily ready to sleep by 430pm and pushing him to 6pm wouldn’t be good right?
I dont see much of a trend in bedtime sleep start and the first naps length but i dont have much of a sample size.
We have had nap1 start as early as 715am and as late as 910am. They are typically short with a few longer ones.
The best morning naps we have had are:
8/19 night to 8/20. Night sleep at 549pm-529am. Nap1 start at 704am for 1h40m
8/20 night to 8/21. Night sleep at 507pm-603am. Nap1 start at 712am for 1h15m
Understood.
Is there any suggestion of longer naps (midmorning or midday) occurring more often?
The second nap is typically longer ranging from 1.5 to 2.5 hours for 8/20 thru 8/25. They have started as early as 1010am and as late as 1235pm.
But today so far we are at wakeup time 605 am. Nap1 start 736am for 44m. Nap2 start 1002am for 50m and Nap3 start 111pm for 43m.
No long nap for today. He could probably start a Nap4 before 3pm but may stay up until bedtime at 5pm now which he will be very tired by then probably hyperarousal state.
Today has been just as irregular. Night sleep from 537pm to 625am (12h48m)
Nap1 727am – 907am (1h41m)
Nap2 1057am – 1131am (34m)
Dear Marc,
here is Jay again with the sleeping problems of L (see above). Thanks for your suggestions. We did everything as you said with the exception of extinction overnight. Additionally, L sleeps now alone in his own bed in his own room. The nap schedule is now very good in line with your suggestions. Overall, L sleeps 3-4 hours per day now and does two naps. We lay him down drowsy but awake and leave the room. Usually, he falls asleep by himself without crying. However, the night waking stays a problem. He wakes up almost every night between 00 and 2 am and stays awake for 1-2,5 hours. At the beginning of this phase, he seems to be just awake. He talks and crawls through his bed. After some time he seems to be annoyed and then, he starts to cry. When he cries intensively, I sooth him and put him back to his bed – drowsy, calm, but awake. How can we fix the night waking problem? In total, he sleeps only around 12 hours, because he wakes up latest 7 am, often much earlier. Currently, he seems overtired.
Thanks again!
All the best,
Jay
How about ‘graduated extinction’ or ‘check and console’ as described in my book?
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
We are still struggling with some inconsistency in naps. My son is now 8 months and 3 weeks old. We have had some days where he does nap for two longer naps (1h to 1h50m per nap range). We have had days where he naps for a total of 3 hours and then days where he only naps for a total of an hour.
We have continued to stay on a mix of 5 and 530pm bedtimes depending on the last nap end. We have not been able to get the nap1 to move to 9pm and so nap2 is earlier (1130am to 12pm start) which puts him awake around 1-130pm. Then we have to force him to make it to bedtime since a third nap is almost always refused and not really age appropriate (I think). Even with some improvement we still have short naps often. Night sleep continues to be good (almost perfect) with 12 hours most of the time at least. Last night he slept from 451pm tp 619am (13h28m) and this concerns me because of how early it started. The nap before this sleep ended at 119pm (almost 4h awake and he was not happy).
I have noticed the biological rhythm for naps seems more established than in the past few months. Nap1 rhythm seems like 8am time frame and nap2 rhythm 12pm time frame. For example, if i try to put him for nap2 early (11am or even 1130) due to a 30-40 minute nap1 at 8am, he struggles to go to sleep since I think its not within his biological rhythm. However he is definitely sleepy (almost goes to sleep during soothing) at this time if not overtired because of the bad nap1. Its very difficult when rhythm doesn’t align with him being sleepy earlier than his rhythm. In addition, he gets fussy usually before two hour mark still. Even with the improvements in the naps and good night sleep, he still appears to not be able to make it to the 2 hour mark or longer between naps.
My questions are:
Do I continue to only offer two naps and force him to make it to bedtime at 5-530pm.?
We are still doing nap drill even for the nap attempts that appear out of sync with his rhythm. Is that okay?
I think we are in the 530 rut I have seen you mention and I need to look at that in your book. That may be the complete problem and solution here?
Do you see any other errors in anything above?
Do I continue to only offer two naps and force him to make it to bedtime at 5-530pm.? YES
We are still doing nap drill even for the nap attempts that appear out of sync with his rhythm. Is that okay? Yes
I think we are in the 530 rut I have seen you mention and I need to look at that in your book. That may be the complete problem and solution here? Sorry, yes.
Do you see any other errors in anything above? No
Please be optimistic because night sleep is so lovely!
Dr. Weissbluth,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your advice and methods on extending naps. Over the past few months, I have been diligently following your recommendations, and we have seen success! It’s not perfect but it is improving After about four months of working on this, my son’s (10m3wk old) naps have become longer and more consistent, which has made a big difference in his overall mood and daily routine. During his naps he always seems to “wake” a little about 30-45 minutes in, but now he is returning to sleep much more often. Is this “waking” of lighter sleep normal? He will wake grab a pacifier and then go back to sleep.
His naps are usually 1–1.5 hours, although occasionally one will be only 50 minutes or so. And yesterday he had nap1 41m and nap2 34m. Not real sure why and we could definitely tell in his mood. We compensated with an early bedtime of 530pm.
He is averaging 2h35m naps and 12h21m night sleep over past 14 days.
He is averaging 2h28m naps and 12h20m night sleep over past 30 days.
I’d like to see the nap average increase a little, but this is so much better than when I first contacted you. How do these numbers look?
I do have a couple of questions about circadian rhythms. Are these rhythms set at certain times, or can they be adjusted by shifting naps to a schedule that’s more convenient for parents? For example, my son’s first nap is now consistently around 830 AM, with his second nap at 12–12:30 PM. His night sleep is usually from 6-630 PM to 6–7 AM.
We’ve been gradually trying to shift to a 6:30 PM bedtime, with a 9:00 AM first nap and a 1:00 PM second nap. However, I’m cautious about making these adjustments because he’s doing so well with the schedule he has now. Do you have any advice on how to approach this?
One last thing—sometimes he cries at night if all his pacifiers fall out of the crib and he cant find one, and I have to go in to give him one in the 3-5am time frame. He’s a very active sleeper, rolls a lot, does head stands, sits up some and lays back down (is this bad?). So, he knocks all the pacifiers out some. I was wondering if you have any suggestions for handling this situation.
Overall, how does his sleep sound to you at this stage? Any insights or adjustments you would recommend?
Thank you again for your guidance—it has truly been invaluable to our family.
Congratulations!
Numbers of hours asleep and timing of sleep are important and your numbers are great but most importantly is your son’s mood, behavior, and development.
Please read Blog Post 8, 112, and especially 196 to better understand why you cannot dramatically change his sleep schedule without harming him.
But it will soon biologically shift: At 9, 12, 15, and 18 months, the percent of children who take 2 naps decreases from 91%, 81%, 44%, and 23% respectively. So at 10 months of age, you expect him to drift towards a single nap over the next 6 months or so. My book discusses this transition in detail but the key for success is maintaining an early bedtime based on drowsy signs.
We know from videotapes that babies normally wake up, sit up, move around with wide eyes, and fall asleep unassisted at night. Presumably they behave this way also at naps. One idea is to give him a dozen pacifiers and hope that one stays in the crib. Another idea is to have a very short ribbon, just 2 or 3 inches attached to a pacifier and an alligator clip attached to his sleeping outfit so he can always find it. Absolutely do not use a longer ribbon or string.
T, please consider writing a narrative report describing your sleep adventure and posting it here and I would use it as Blog Post. Mothers are more likely to respond to your voice than mine.
I will gladly write one up. I hope it can help encourage others that have had the same struggles. Also, I wrote the wrong age. My son is 9 months 3 weeks old.
Dr. Weissbluth, sorry for how long it took me to write this narrative. It was hard to remember it all and write it down. I dont even think it does the help you gave us justice but I hope it helps others. Here it is below. Thanks so much.
We worked very hard to set ourselves up for success with our first baby’s sleep and diligently read Dr. Weissbluth’s book. Around 6 months old (perhaps even earlier), our son began having very poor naps. He would sleep for only 30–40 minutes and then wake up crying. He would rub his eyes, and it was clear he needed more rest. Although he was a great night sleeper, consistently getting 12 hours of sleep, we couldn’t figure out what was causing his napping issues. It was both frustrating and heartbreaking to feel like we were failing him, despite our exhaustive research and preparation.
At that point, I realized we needed help. I started reading Dr. Weissbluth’s blog posts and eventually decided to reach out to him directly. It was the best decision I ever made.
Dr. Weissbluth helped us uncover the root of the problem: we had been mistaking fatigue signs for drowsy signs. When our son rubbed his eyes, grabbed his ears, or touched the back of his head, we thought he was ready to be soothed to sleep. In reality, these were signs of overtiredness, indicating that we were keeping him awake for too long. Because his naps were starting too late, he became chronically overtired, leading to a hyper-aroused state that interfered with his ability to nap longer than 30–40 minutes.
Once we understood the problem, Dr. Weissbluth provided us with a clear plan to restore our son’s sleep. The process wasn’t easy, but it was effective. He instructed us to implement a very early bedtime of 5:30 PM—sometimes as early as 5:00 PM—to help him recover from his chronic overtiredness. We also offered as many naps as he needed, even though a well-rested child his age typically only requires two naps. Additionally, we extended some naps by holding him after he woke at 30 minutes. Over time, as his sleep improved, we transitioned to using the nap drill described in Dr. Weissbluth’s book.
The journey was long and challenging—it took weeks, if not months, of consistent effort. I remember how difficult it was and how often we doubted whether we could fix the problem. At one point, my husband even took a week off work to handle all the naps while I left the house during the day, following Dr. Weissbluth’s suggestion. Despite our struggles, we persisted, continuing to adjust his schedule, use the nap drill, and stick with the early bedtimes.
Then, slowly but surely, our son’s naps began to improve. They lengthened to about an hour, and eventually, he began taking two consistent naps of 1–1.5 hours each. We couldn’t believe the transformation. He started waking up happier, staying awake longer, and enjoying much better moods. All the hard work and excellent advice we received paid off.
Our son is now 11 months old and thriving. While we occasionally still experience a short nap, most days involve two solid naps lasting between 1 and 1.5 hours. Friends and family are astounded by how happy he is and how many hours he sleeps.
To anyone reading this: if you’re feeling hopeless and ready to give up, know that even the worst of sleep problems and situations can be fixed. My son is proof of this. It’s not a quick or easy process, but with the right guidance and persistence, it’s absolutely possible. We are so grateful to Dr. Weissbluth for helping us solve our son’s nap issues. His guidance has made our family so much happier.
Thank you!
Hi Dr Weissbluth, thank you so much for helping us with our mid-day naps about a year ago just before Christmas.
Our now 2.5 year old daughter seems to have completely dropped her mid-day naps as of a few months ago. We tried everything – super early bedtime, putting her down for her nap earlier or later, but to no avail. She sleeps from ~6.45pm/7pm (we put her down by 6:30pm) to ~6:30am (although sometimes she wakes up 5:45/6:00am and sometimes she wakes up at 7am – the latter is more rare). She is happy, calm, and content – there isn’t any “witching hour” and she rarely tantrums; when she does, she is able to calm down very quickly. We still do “quiet time” from ~1:30/1:45pm to ~2:45/3pm (darkened room, she is in her cot) and she happily sits there and chats to herself / plays with her cuddly toys.
She did however fall asleep once a week ago, when quiet time ended up later and we didn’t get her in time – she fell asleep at 3:20pm and slept for two hours until 5:20pm. We then put her to bed at ~7:00pm and she didn’t fall asleep until 8pm.
Given her behaviour, I was reluctantly starting to accept that she might be in the 2-3% of kids who do drop the nap early – is that right or do you think it’s too unlikely? Equally a very late nap probably isn’t normal either? would love your thoughts on what we should do (if anything). Thank you!
In my nap study, at 24 months, all children were napping, every day. At 36 months 92% were napping and those that took a nap did so about 6 days a week.
Is she 30 months old?
Because of her mood and behavior and great night sleep, is seems that she no longer needs a nap, in general. An early bedtime based on drowsy signs should keep her on an even keel.
Be alert to exceptional days when a mid-day nap opportunity might still seem appropriate but try hard to avoid late naps because they mess up night sleep.
Does this help?
Thank you. That is very helpful! She is 29 months now, and dropped the nap at around 26/27 months. I guess someone has to make up the statistics to be on the bottom end! Yes, we try and make sure she is always in bed by 6:30pm latest (more often 6:15pm), although she’s now started to fall asleep closer to 7pm, so we were wondering whether to push her bedtime to 6:30/6:45pm.
Choose your bedtime on Drowsy Signs (see Blog Posts 83 and 115X); earlier is better than later.
“she’s now started to fall asleep closer to 7pm” suggests pre-sleep arousal (Blog Posts 159, 171, 172, and 204) and the need for an earlier bedtime.
Because of not napping, sometimes the bedtime might be much earlier.
Does this help?
Hello Dr. Weissbluth,
I wanted to ask about my 15-month-old son’s transition to one nap.
His usual schedule is:
• Wake-up: Between 6:00–6:30 AM
• Falls asleep: Between 5:30–6:30 PM
We started the transition recently, and his nap is currently beginning around 10:45–11:00 AM, usually lasting about 1.5 hours. One day, he did extend it to 2.5 hours (10:00 AM – 12:30 PM), but that hasn’t been consistent. Another day he napped 1.5 hours (11:25 AM- 1:00 PM). He’s handling the change fairly well, but the long afternoon wake window, especially when he wakes around 12:30 PM, seems to be a bit of a struggle.
To compensate, we’ve been doing an earlier bedtime at 5:30 PM. My goal is to get his nap to start around 11:30 AM–12:00 PM, but it’s been hard to push him that long and even so the nap is only 1.5 hours. Should I keep trying to stretch his wake time, or would it be better to go back to two naps for now? How long does a transition take to get the single nap to be long enough?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for your time!
Because of his age, stick with a 1 nap plan.
For how many days have you been in this pattern?
Have you read the section in my book about the transition from 2 naps to 1 nap?
Hi. I do have your book and it has helped us with great sleep so far. I have read the section and determined based on the first nap seeming to go away as he was staying up longer in the morning that he was ready for a transition. We have been trying this since daylights savings time started on March 9 because it led him to “sleep later” when it started for a bit. Since then we have had 10 days on 1 nap only and 6 days of 2 naps. At first I wasn’t sure he was ready but then he started not being sleepy at his usual time of about 9 am and would continue to play and not show drowsy times until about 10am or later. So we gave it a try. He is still pretty happy and gets a little fussy towards bedtime when he has one nap but its not crazy irritated. His morning time goes really well without much fuss at all. The one nap is averaging about 1 hour 20 min. Three times he has had a nap go for 2 hour 8 min and 2 hour 3 min and 2 hour 27 min during this period. But all days of one nap only the nap does not go past 1230pm.
Also, during the trial we have had couple night wakings that we have rarely had happen before. On Friday he got vaccines in the afternoon. I say this because he may have felt bad and this may have led to his poor night sleep that night. He slept 554pm to 630pm and woke crying. Then slept 653pm to 743pm and woke crying. I went in here to comfort him for a moment and take his temperature. Then slept 756pm to 952 pm and woke crying. He was up for 4 hours just staring at the ceiling after he stopped fussing. Finally back to sleep from 232am to 650am. He woke up with a slight fever of 101.
And then last night he was in bed at 530pm and didn’t fall asleep until 633pm. I think he was overtired and had trouble falling asleep. He slept till 130am. He woke up, no crying, but didn’t go back to sleep until 340am. Another sign of overtired?
Going back to 2 naps would be a little hard because we would definitely have to intervene and wake him from night sleep by 6am and wake him from nap 1 to ensure nap 2 would start before 3pm. I saw you mention no naps after 3 pm throughout your blog comments. to keep early bedtime.
“And then last night he was in bed at 530pm and didn’t fall asleep until 633pm. I think he was overtired and had trouble falling asleep. He slept till 130am. He woke up, no crying, but didn’t go back to sleep until 340am. Another sign of overtired?” YES.
For how many days had you used a consistent 5:30pm bedtime?
When you attempted a single nap, the bedtime was a little too late (“little fussy towards bedtime when he has one nap”) and he acquired a sleep debt. Temporarily, continue a 5:30pm expected falling asleep time (he is bathed, fed, and soothed and you are leaving the room at 5:30PM). Simultaneously, slowly and gradually delay the single nap so that it begins closer to mid-day. The more well-rested is the child, the faster this can be accomplished. When the single nap is mid-day, the bedtime may be a little later (but it might be earlier than when he was taking 2 naps). The new bedtime is based on drowsy signs, not clock times.
Does this help?
Yes. We have been putting him in bed by 530pm since we started the one nap attempt. We have even done this when he was on two naps from reading your posts with other people. Would it be okay to even put him in bed earlier at 5pm if he is ready based on drowsy signs?
Are occasional two naps days ok? For example today he is already appearing sleepy at 830am due to his 2 hours of awake time during last night sleep. He woke up at 640am today.
Congratulations on your willingness to be flexible. I might suggest guidelines that are appropriate for most, but not all, children but what is most important is your observations on your own child. In general, the more rested he will be, the easier will be the transition and patience is sometimes needed for it to get sorted out.
“Would it be okay to even put him in bed earlier at 5pm if he is ready based on drowsy signs?” YES
“Are occasional two naps days ok?” YES
Let me know how it goes.
Dr Weissbluth,
I wanted to share an update on my son’s (almost 16 months old) sleep situation above, as it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster since March 9. He’s been trying to transition from two naps to one, but it feels like we’re stuck in a constant cycle of failure.
Here’s the pattern we’re dealing with: he typically wakes up between 5:30-6:00 AM, (sometimes makes it to 630 AM) which I think is because his bedtime is so early, around 5:00-5:45 PM but its necessary. We’ve had to keep bedtime early because his nap schedule isnt falling into place well with 1 nap. On a good day, he takes one nap starting around 11:00 AM, but it only lasts about 1.25-1.5 hours, which doesn’t seem like enough to carry him through the day. Some days, he’s already showing signs of being tired by 9:00-10:00 AM, so we try putting him down then. But when we do that, we attempt a second nap later in the day to make up for it, and he almost never takes it. It’s like we’re stuck in this loop where nothing quite works.
It’s been tough to find a rhythm, and I’d love any suggestions on how to help him settle into a more consistent one-nap schedule. I was considering forcing a strict schedule to make 2 naps a day happen such as night sleep 6am to 6pm, nap1 at 9-930am wakeup by 1030am, nap2 at 2-230pm wakeup at 3pm. But I don’t feel this will work.
His mood is usually still pretty good but on a bad day at 4pm time he will get fussy.
Maybe I just do 1 nap days and wait for him to figure out how to nap for 2 hours?
Thanks for your time.
At 15 months of age, about 56% of children are taking 1 nap and this increases to 77% by 18 months. So, at 16 months, I think sticking with a general plan of a attempting only 1 nap is best (an exception might be on a day that he wakes up super early).
If i understand correctly, your current plan has been in place for just a few weeks.
Because his mood is usually still pretty good, my suggestion is to continue for another 7-10 days only and then re-evaluate with one modification.
Try to keep the bedtime in the 5-5:30pm time zone and never 5:45pm. I know that this is a small difference in minutes, but, over time, it might make a big difference.
Can you do this? How does this sound?
Yes I am giving it a try for another few days. Since you responded, here is what has happened. Multiple night wakings on night 1, including for 2 hours at one point. Long latency to sleep it appears also. Is a good time to fall asleep in the 20 minute range? You can see on the 2 nap day I put him down later because he wont go to sleep at 5-530pm with a nap2 ending at 327pm. I’m very confused. I know poor sleep makes it harder to sleep but then last night he sleeps for 12.5 hours straight while refusing a nap2 and being awake for 6.5 hours and very fussy around 4pm. The day before he had two naps and then only 10h23m of night sleep. Do I need to go back to two naps?
– Overnight: Slept from 6:20 PM to 6:30 AM (12 hours, 10 minutes)
– Nap 1: Put down at 10:55 AM, slept from 11:06 AM to 12:23 PM (1 hour, 17 minutes)
– Bedtime: Put down at 5:00 PM, asleep at 5:55 PM (long time to go to sleep)
– Woke at 6:35 PM, back to sleep from 6:53 PM to 8:49 PM (1 hour, 56 minutes)
– Woke at 8:49 PM, back to sleep from 8:59 PM to 3:48 AM (6 hours, 49 minutes)
– Awake from 3:48 AM to 5:46 AM, slept from 5:46 AM to 6:20 AM (34 minutes)
– Awake at 6:20 AM, slept from 6:25 AM to 6:46 AM (21 minutes)
TOTAL 10h22m broken night sleep
**Next Day Summary:**
– Nap 1: Put down at 8:53 AM, slept from 9:15 AM to 10:45 AM (1 hour, 30 minutes)
– Nap 2: Put down at 2:03 PM, slept from 2:10 PM to 3:27 PM (1 hour, 17 minutes)
– Bedtime: Put down at 6:18 PM, asleep at 7:12 PM
– Overnight: Woke at 5:30 AM
TOTAL 10h23m night sleep
**Following Day Summary:**
– Nap 1: Put down at 9:13 AM, slept from 9:27 AM to 10:53 AM (1 hour, 26 minutes)
– Nap 2: Attempted at 1:56 PM nap drill, did not sleep just played
– Bedtime: Put down at 4:58 PM, asleep at 5:19 PM
– Overnight: Woke at 5:42 AM
TOTAL 12h24m night sleep
Please read pages 654-655 in my book for a rigid and a flexible approach to this issue.
Hey Hi Dr. Weissbluth, My wife and I are huge fans of your work!
Our first child is 4 weeks old, and we’re looking forward to implementing your strategies as he develops.
Do you mind expanding on how we can tell difference between light and deep sleep, especially for naps?
For example, this sentence: ” Spending hours during the day holding your child in your arms or in a rocking chair while she is in a light, twilight sleep also is lost sleep because you have delayed the time when she will fall into a deep slumber….”
Our son appears to sleep deeply often when we wear him with a sling. This is true even if it’s bright / noisy out. The same often happens while he’s in his stroller (again, despite being outside or in our commonly trafficked living area).
Should we assume this isn’t deep sleep given the light and noise?
Should we instead strive to have all naps occur in an “ideal” sleep room — e.g. dark, white-noise, etc?
We’ve read through your book a few times, so apologies if this is in there.
Thank you!
Ben
For naps:
Keep the intervals of wakefulness before a nap very brief to prevent pre-sleep arousal.
Use the crib or bassinet as much as you can for a dark and quiet environment for better quality naps.
Contact naps or naps in motion are fine if occasional but if they are too frequent, they interfere with developing self-soothing skills.
The guarantee for good quality naps wil be an earlier bedtime around 6 weeks of age so that night sleep quality is high and he starts the day well rested leading to great naps.
Because he is becoming more curious and aware of his environment, naps outside should be in quiet parks or similar areas.
Does this help?
Thank you for the reply Dr. Weissbluth! It’s super helpful. We’re looking forward to beginning an early bedtime a week from now, when he’s 6 weeks old.
In the meantime, his fusiness has increased (as expected as he approaches 6 weeks old). He’s most fussy in the morning, perhaps at odds from what’s typical. His nap after waking up in the morning is never easy. His fussiness tends to decrease as the day goes on, and he’ll do a 4 hour sleep starting around 7pm.
We try to keep wak windows short / err on the side of offering a nap, but it seems like he fights it! He hates to close his eyes….
What was his gestational age at birth?
He was born at 38 weeks and about 3 days. Thank you!!
Fussiness and crying tends to peak about 6 weeks after the due date, so for your baby, it might be closer to 8 weeks of age. These are approximations and therefor feel free to experiemtn with super early bedtimes now or later.