Blog Posts 1–5, based on the United States of America Department of the Army Field Manual: Holistic Healing and Fitness, describe what really matters for your child’s sleep. If sleep is an important enough topic for national defense than surely sleep should be considered a serious topic for parenting!
Blog Post 159 describes the benefit of a temporary super-early bedtime helping a child sleep better. Here is another one.
1. Dear Dr Weissbluth
My husband and I read your 5th edition book numerous times and it has helped us tremendously over the first year of our baby’s life. Our boy is almost 15 months old. Since month 13 he’s consistently refused his mid-day nap. His usual wakeup/bedtime is 6am/6pm with a 9am/1pm nap that’s usually an hour long each. Therefore, over the last 1-1.5mo we’ve been attempting to transition to one nap while moving up his bedtime earlier to 530pm and sometime as early as 515pm depending on how tired he is. We’ve tried the one nap at 10ish/10am/11am/1130am, most of these naps are crazy short 30/45min only, with a lot of sleep inertia type of behavior on waking from these naps. He’s banking solid 12-13 hours at night un-interrupted, and every 14 days or so even slightly longer at night probably from the nap debt.
Our questions are
1) does the “one” nap have to be mid-day (12/1pm) or middle of his circadian cycle (if it’s 530-530 technically falls around 10/11ish)
2) will this one nap eventually lengthen on its own to 1.5-2 hours
Any insight you may have as to what we may be doing wrong or what else we should be doing would be greatly appreciated.
MW says:
At 12 months of age, 81% of children are taking two naps per day.
At 15 months of age, 44% of children are taking two naps per day.
At 18 months of age, 23% of children are taking two naps per day.
The transition to one nap around 13 months of age is uncommon and now at almost 15 months of age and going forward, one nap is more common. There is not a single or clear strategy for you because of this wide variation of napping behavior at these ages. But not to worry because he is a great night time sleeper!
For young children, the single nap onset is always mid-day (12-2pm), so my suggestion is to entertain him and distract him as he gets short on sleep in the mid- and late-morning and try to put him down for a nap consistently around noon or as close to noon as possible for 4-5 days. Because he may be short on sleep then, extra soothing might be required. If this backfires and he gets so wound-up and upset that he refuses the single mid-day nap or this single dap is less than 30 minutes and the rest of the afternoon is a disaster, then abandon the effort. During this 4-5 day trial, the bedtime might have to be super early. How does this sound.
2. Ying says:
Thank you! Huge sigh of relief and we will continue with the effort you proposed!
3. Ying says:
Ying says: Dear Dr Weissbluth, I am following up on your recommendations to move my 15mo nap (2 to1) to mid-day. I am happy to report that today (1 week later) he went down at 1145am. The 10/1030 slump is challenging the first few days, but with practice we were able to keep him entertained/awake through it. At night he’s down around 515pm and waking up on his own past 6am, so we are very happy with his progress. The naps are still a little on the short side (45min-1 hour each), and we plan to move the nap time slightly back to noon as you suggested. It also took some trial/error to re-configure snacks/lunch time, but we are getting the hang of it. Thank you for helping us out YET AGAIN! We are TRULY GRATEFUL!!
MW says:
You are welcome. Would you be able to write a narrative report describing your journey?
As the nap gets a little later and a little longer, based on drowsy signs, expect the bedtime to become a little later. Please go very slowly with a later bedtime.
Sweet Dreams,
Marc
Dear Dr Weissbluth
Since I found out I was pregnant with identical twins, I had read your book Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins many many times! Thank you very much for such a great publication for all desperate parents. Unfortunately, now I am reaching to you as one of them…
Our boys are 14 mo and we struggle with early mornings basically since their birth. But with the time change their wake up time shifted to 4-5am which is no longer bearable… They have already learnt to fall asleep by themselves, but during the night they wake up a few times (the exact number is depending on teething, their health etc). During the first 9 months we synchronised the night breastfeeding.
Most of the times one of them wakes up, my husband soothes them back to sleep but if unsuccessful, I nurse them until they get back to sleep (I got to the point when I am too exhausted to even try something different). They fall asleep in their own cribs, but during the night they end up co-sleeping with us.
They nap once a day, if entertained, a little before noon (1-2 hours) and they are drowsy around 5pm. They fall asleep around 6pm. Over the last few months we tried later bedtimes (7-8pm) but with the same wake times and extremely overtired during all day.
Note: They are smaller than the average 14mo kids, they don’t eat much.
Could this be linked to their night “snacking”?
Would an even earlier bedtime help?
I would be extremely grateful to get any advice from you. Thank you very much.
What is your ultimate goal? What does your husband want?
Do you also have my other book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child?
Are you able to temporarily separate them at night?
How strongly do you want to continue to co-sleep and nurse at night?
Thank you for your prompt reply!
My ultimate goal is to have enough sleep. My husband is an early bird, doesn’t mind getting up with the kids but he is very supportive. He will listen to any advice you would give for my sake. No, we don’t. I am going to order the book and read it. Yes, we can separate them. And yes, I am willing to do what it takes to get more sleep.
Please be optimistic because:
Identical twins tend to sleep more in synchrony than fraternal twins.
You have the ability to temporarily separate them at night, if needed.
Your husband is supportive.
I will give you specific advice and refer to my book, (read the chapter on Sleep Solutions first); in the meantime:
Ask your pediatrician if it is necessary to feed them at night.
Read the following Blog Posts:
18: Teamwork
82, 160-170: Co-sleeping
83, 115X: Drowsy signs
145: Soothing at night
203, 208: Mother’s sleep.
Let me know your thoughts
Thank you very much for your thorough response. I appreciate your kind and helpful approach a lot.
Our pediatrician says there is no need for night feedings.
I ordered the book, I shall be able to read the given material in a few days.
I read all the blog posts you recommended.
Conclusion: I understood that it would be preferable for our family to stop Co-sleeping and try different soothing techniques.
From my observation, our bedtime 6pm works well so far. The kids look rested, happy and awake when put into their cribs. Their afternoon nap time has shifted to noon, lasts app 2 hours. The only current problem are night wakings and early mornings.
Is there anything else apart from what mentioned above we shall consider in your opinion?
Please choose a sleep solution from the relevant chapter that comports with your values.
For any sleep solution to work, you will have to stop co-sleeping and night feeding.
Let me no what you decide and the exact pattern of night waking and I will be able to give you more advice.
Thank you. I will let you know when we get the book and read it.
Just a little question. Since last week we moved the bedtime to 6pm, afternoon nap at noon. We had 5 days of relative peace (cheerful mood, long naps, although early mornings – interestingly, one day one of them wakes up at 4am, the other around 5-5:30am, and the following night the other way round…). Today both woke up at 4am and they were absolutely shattered at 8:30am, any attempts to entertain them failed, and they fell asleep… I am not sure whether we should follow the same routine and expect results in a few weeks time (since they have not slept well for quite long) or rather abandon the effort and make any changes? And what to do in situations like this? Or shall I be patient and wait for any improvement after we make changes in the night routine?
Thank you so much for your time! I appreciate a lot.
Consolidated night sleep will permit later wake-up times.
We decided to try something like the “check and console” method with the difference that there will be only a low-stimulus soothing method – singing. We practiced this method when teaching them to fall asleep on their own, no feeding to sleep. We think about combining it with the controlled crying method, to prolong the time of ignoring before checking on the kids. And ignore until 6am.
Is there any difference in who is soothing? Does the presence of mother in the room make the training harder? Do you have any advice for us to consider?
Have your husband read the Check and Console and Graduated Extinction method section. Let him choose which one he feels comfortable with. Give him night duty for 3 nights.
Everything will improve faster if Dad steps up and takes charge.
Thank you. I will have him read these options and let him decide. Is the process smoother when there is only dad sleeping with the kids in the same room? We have cots in our bedroom.
The best situation is for the twins to be in separate rooms at night by themselves. No parental presence. Is this acceptable or doable?
Theoretically, yes, it is, but the bedroom is the only room with black-out curtains and humidifier as the white noise machine. Shall we assume the process would take longer under these circumstances? Or do you think it would be preferable to separate them anyway?
For night sleep, because it is darker and quieter, I would separate them.
Maybe for day sleep, because of the black-out curtains and white noise machine, they would be in your bedroom.
But this is probably impractical (needing 4 cots or moving 2 cots from room to room).
Because the night sleep rhythm is better developed than the day sleep rhythm, I vote for separation for night sleep and focus on better quality night sleep for now.
By “under these circumstances” I mean having them in the same room without parents
Dear Dr. Weissbluth
A little update after 1st successful night.
One of the twins slept for the entire night without waking up!! This has NEVER happened before. Woke up at 5:45. Sounds early, but a lie in for us 🙂
The other was a tougher one (bedtime 6pm):
7:30pm (moaned for a minute and went back to sleep without my husband’s intervention)
9pm (cried for about 10 mins with my husband singing)
11-11:45pm (cried hysterically with breaks, my husband spoke to him in calm voice, sang a song and went away)
2:30-3:15am (almost the same situation, my husband gave him water and sang a song. When he went away, our twin went to sleep)
4:30am (a little moaning for a minute, no intervention)
Woke up at 5:45
Thank you for your support! We feel much better and stronger as a couple too!
Congratulations!
Be confident that improvement will continue but:
There will be some not so good nights mixed in with the improvement, for a while
There may be flip-flops where one twin seems to be doing better than the other and then they switch
Improvement in ‘night waking’ and ‘early morning wake-ups’ may not be associated with each other, for a while
The key elements are an early bedtime based on drowsy signs, no parental presence after soothing, and drowsy but awake.
Please keep a written record for a few days and let me know how it goes.
Dear Dr Weissbluth
Hope you are well.
2nd night:
Bedtime 6:10pm
Twin A woke at 8pm (moaning for a few minutes)
Twin B woke at 10-11pm (cried for about 45 minutes with breaks)
Both woke at 3:30-4:15 (crying, but not hysterically)
Woke up at 6am
Nap at noon, for 2,5 hours and 3 hours! Was it too long? Should I shorten the nap…? Overall, happier then normally
3rd night
Bedtime 6:30 (based on drowsy signs, but could be a little earlier I think)
No wakings (just a little moaning for a while at 9pm)
Woke up at 4:45am. Chatty, cheerful, playing… They went back to sleep at 5:15. The woke up 6:30 and started the day.
Napped around noon for 2 hours
One of the twins is easily irritated, my assumption is it is because they are short of their usual nocturnal milk supply, probably finally getting more hungry?
4th night
Bedtime 6:10
One of the twins woke at 11:30pm for a few minutes, crying, my husband went to see him and left)
Both woke up a little before 5, ignored until 5:30am.
Napped at 11:20 for about 2 hours
Again, hungry all the time. That’s totally new for us!
You wrote “improvement in night wakings and early morning wake ups may not be associated with each other for a while”. Would you please explain? Should I be more patient when it comes to later wake up time?
Thank you very much for your support, we feel much more rested already!
Correct me if I am wrong, but “happier then normally”, “Nap at noon, for 2,5 hours and 3 hours!, and “we feel much more rested already!” suggests improvement is occurring.
Sleep begets sleep so allow them to have long naps and adjust the bedtimes based on subtle drowsy signs. Earlier is always better than latter.
One twin might show improvement in fewer night wakings but still get up too early or continue to have night wakings but now get up latter.
The longer you can be strict with their schedule (based on drowsy signs), the less disruptive upcoming special Holiday events will be.
Does this help?
Perfect! 🙏 Thank you for helping so many of us. It’s a true blessing!
Hello Dr. Weissbluth
I have read your book and this is my 3rd child to use it with.
She is 18 months and is transitioning to one nap.
She goes down for nap around 11, sleeps for just over an hour usually.
Bedtime is 5:30 and wake up time is 5:30am. At 5:30 she comes into our bed and I breastfeed and doze until 6 when she is then ready to get out of the bed.
The problem is lately she has been waking up wet at 3:30 or 4am and fighting going back to sleep.
I change her diaper and breastfeed her and try to rock and sooth her for a bit then lay her back in her crib.
Today she has cried off and on since 4:40am and it is 5:30 so I will bring her into my bed now for breastfeeding like we do every morning.
She also still cries some days when it’s time for nap. She just seems stubborn some days honestly which goes along with her “feisty” personality. My 5 year old calls her “boss baby.”
Any recommendations to get a later wake up time? Should I try overnight diapers and ignore the 4am wakeup?
“Should I try overnight diapers and ignore the 4am wakeup?” I think this is a good idea but I wonder if you should consider stopping the “At 5:30 she comes into our bed and I breastfeed and doze until 6 when she is then ready to get out of the bed.” because she might wonder why sometimes (at 5:30am) but not other times (at 4:00am) she is breast fed. Her confusion might lead to more crying and wakefulness.
You asked, “Any recommendations to get a later wake up time?”: Are you referring to the old routine 5:30am wake-up or the more recent 3:30 or 4:00am wake-ups?
Thank you for the reply.
I was hoping she would know when I sit down in her room in the chair to feed her and get her back to sleep, it would be clear that it wasn’t time to stay up and come to my bed. But that probably is a stretch for an 18 month old and is confusing to her!
I think ultimately the 5:30am wake up is tough for me and that’s why I bring her to bed. Also it’s a nice time of quiet feeding for her instead of straight to running around.
If I start to ignore the 4am wake up because I’m confident she isn’t wet (new diapers) is there a way to stretch her sleep time? I would love to eventually get to 6-6 for night sleep, but anytime she goes to bed later it doesn’t change her wake up time.
One idea is to rush to her at 5:30, do a quick nurse and diaper changing and put her down with minimal soothing to see if she might sleep by herself for another 30-90 minutes. You are ignoring her sounds durning this time. Within 3 mornings, you’ll know if there is any hope that this will prolong her overnight sleep. don’t try this if you cannot commit to a 3day trial.
Currently, she expects to be nursed and comforted by you around 5:30am and this might be encouraging her to wake up and not return to sleep unassisted around 5:30am, so an alternative is to ignore her then for 20-30 minutes to see if she will return to sleep unassisted. The reason that I discourage this approach is she is probably truly thirsty and/or hungry and/or having a very wet diaper then.
Bedtime is currently 5:30: Is this the falling asleep time or the beginning of the bedtime routine?
Your thoughts?
Okay I see what you are saying. I think I will try the 3 night trial of changing diaper/nursing and back to bed at 5:30 to see if she will go back for a bit. How long should I allow her to cry at that point when I put her back to bed?
I guess I just have always felt that 12 hours of sleep was kind of the limit so I felt bad trying to have her sleep longer.
Many nights bedtime routine/bath starts at 5 and she’s asleep by 5:30, but I can’t say all. Some nights she is asleep closer to 5:45 or 6.
I’m guessing I should really aim for her being asleep by 5:30 especially now that she is taking one nap around 11.
Should i also keep pushing for her to nap closer to 12?
If she is showing subtle drowsy signs between 4-5 pm, please start her bedtime routine earlier so that you have bathed, fed, and soothed her and after putting her down drowsy but awake, you are leaving the room at 5:30pm. Please also use drowsy but awake and leave the room after soothing for naps.
If you can give her extra distraction and soothing to prevent presleep arousal, please try to start the nap closer to 12 noon.
For three mornings, if she is quickly attended to, and she subsequently fusses or cries I suggest:
If it is around 4:30am, I would not go to her until about 5:30am.
If it is around 5:30am, I would try to leave her alone for 30-60 minutes but follow your heart based on whether the crying/fussing is intermittent or continuous and whether it is mild, moderate, or severe or variable. Maybe you will only be able to tolerate 20 minutes. The second day might be worse as she tries harder to get more soothing from you and perhaps the third day will be dramatically and substantially better.
Basically, our goal is to give her minimal attention in the early morning with the hope of extending her night sleep longer into the morning.
Keep a written record.
Does this help?
Yes definitely. You are always helpful!
I have been concentrating on bedtime (putting her down in bed by 5:30) and moving midday nap closer to 12.
She is starting to sleep for 1.5 to 2 hours for nap time, which is an improvement.
She also has stopped waking up around 4, but still some variation.
Yesterday she woke at 6:30, which was amazing. Today she woke at 5:08 but I let her fuss for 8 minutes. She was then quiet for about 15 minutes and when I heard her again I got her up since it was past 5:30. She was soiled.
I do feel bad trying to extend her past 5:30am with her early bedtime.
For now I’m okay with 5:30-5:30.
“She is starting to sleep for 1.5 to 2 hours for nap time, which is an improvement.
She also has stopped waking up around 4, but still some variation.
Yesterday she woke at 6:30, which was amazing.”
Congratulations!
Please send me a progress report in a few days.
Hello Dr Weissbluth I am back on another blog here with a question.
My son in 12 months old on 12/21/24. Night sleep is usually from about 630-7pm to 6-630am. Naps usually start about 9-930am and then again at 1-2pm.
Over the past 7 days, he is averaging 11.5 hours of night sleep. He is averaging 2h9m of naps.
Over the past 14 days, he is averaging 11.5 hours of night sleep. He is averaging 2h19m of naps.
Over the past 30 days, he is averaging 11.5 hours of night sleep. He is averaging 2h22m of naps.
Over the past 90 days, he is averaging 11h43m hours of night sleep. He is averaging 2h33m of naps.
My question is about transition to 1 nap. I have read your book section and many blog posts about it. Recently over the past few weeks he has been having not as consistent of naps. Sometimes one or both of the naps is only about 45 minutes. The second nap is varying a lot on start time now. Even with nap drill he will take a while to go to sleep for the second nap. It has started as late as 240pm. We never let him nap past 330pm to keep bedtime somewhat early. With a later second nap bedtime gets closer to 7 or 730pm and that seems to negatively affect him (waking up prior to 6am).
For example today he slept 649pm-624am. Nap 1 was 922am to 1028am (1h6m). I put him down for Nap 2 around 125pm. At 245pm he is still not asleep for Nap 2. No fussing just rolling around the crib. I also checked his diaper after an hour and no problem.
I am unsure what to do because I still feel he needs two naps but he is also possibly showing signs of ready for one nap even though the percentage is low for 12 month olds.
What do you suggest or is there anything else I can read?
Did you read pages 653-657 in the 5th edition?
Blog Post 194 is on this subject.
I reviewed the sections and the post and have an idea of what to do. I do not think he is ready for one nap but I will accept that there may be a one nap day randomly.
I plan to wake him up by 7 am everyday. He is usually up by 630am though.
I plan to start the first nap around 9am and let him sleep for at minimum 1 hour but not past 1030am if it is over 1 hour.
I plan to start second nap around 130pm and let him sleep for a minimum 1 hour but not past 330pm if it is over 1 hour.
I plan to get him in bed and asleep by 630pm and 7pm at the latest if he rolls around the crib.
My goal is to make sure he doesn’t sleep too long for naps or past a certain time to encourage him to be able to take a second nap and have an early bedtime. Does this all sound like a good strategy for now until maybe 15 months when I might see a transition become necessary. Any flaws you see in the plan?
It sounds like a good plan as long as your times and numbers are approximations. That is, be a little flexible from day to day. The best advice is to watch for subtle drowsy signs between 4-5pm and try for the earliest appropriate bedtime. Some days, it might even be 5:30-6:00pm. The early bedtime will keep him well rested and will make the transition to one nap easier.
Are you OK with this?
Hello,
A bit of an update and a bit of an issue.
Night has been going well, even with a cold. She is in bed and sleeping by 5:30 to 5:45 most nights and still wakes like clockwork at 5:30am. 12 hours straight is all I can ask of her and I feel she is well rested when she wakes in the morning.
Lately her naps have been too short though. Today I put her down, sleepy, but awake at 11:40am. She fussed but was quiet by 11:45am.
She was awake and talking (calling out for me) by 12:25pm!
I’m trying to let her cry for a bit to see if she will return to sleep.
With her waking at 5:30 and only down to one nap, I really think she needs at least an hour nap.
It’s 12:45 now and she is quiet.
Any recommendations for stretching the nap to begin with?
Here are two competing goals:
1. Stretch her to about 1PM for a later and maybe longer nap. If this occurs, maybe her bedtime and wakeup time will be a little later.
2. Stretch her wakeful period too much and maybe she develops pre sleep arousal and has more difficulty falling asleep for her nap.
I would try 1. for a few days and see how it goes.
Hey Dr. Weissbluth.
I am back and responding to my message earlier in the thread. We have been going for a while now of some not perfect napping and interesting night sleep. One night he woke at 430am and was awake until 550am. He went back to sleep until 7am. The two days after night sleep was fine. Roughly 7 pm to 630am. Then the day after that he woke again at 430am and was awake until 540am. Then back to sleep until 641am. Six days later he was asleep at 613pm and woke at 840pm for ten minutes sitting up staring into space. Then back to sleep at 850pm.
Also over the past week or two since I mentioned maybe he needs to transition to 1 nap, he is having more frequent short naps. And the timing is really varying. The waking him up to keep a schedule really didn’t help so we mostly stopped doing that. Still aiming for 9am and 1pm naps.
As an example, yesterday he slept 620pm-636am. We put him down for his nap at 9am but he didn’t fall asleep until 939am. He was sitting and standing in the crib quietly. Then finally went to sleep and woke after 1h30m. A good nap but it took forever to fall asleep. He did seem sleepy during soothing.
The second nap he was put down at about 2pm and the same thing occurred. He didn’t fall asleep until 258pm. He slept for 30m to 327pm.
And for bedtime we put him in bed at 6pm. Didn’t fall asleep until 652pm. Slept for 10h48m (much less than normal) and woke at 540am. Didn’t get him out of his crib until 645am. Hoping he would go back to sleep. This morning after that early wakeup he went to sleep at 907am immediately upon putting him in crib. The early wakeup did that I guess. Slept for 1h44m.
As a reminder he is 13 months old as of 1/21. For the most part he seems happy and well rested unless he has a shorter nap.
I am still unsure of him being ready for 1 nap because he is only 13 months so its statistically less likely. He also does seem sleepy and ready for his 9am nap in the mornings but then doesn’t go to sleep quick.
Should I attempt to go to 1 nap or am I missing something?
Nap transitions vary a lot and maintaining an early bedtime based on drowsy signs is your best bet to keep him well rested.