Blog Posts 1–5, based on the United States of America Department of the Army Field Manual: Holistic Healing and Fitness, describe what really matters for your child’s sleep. If sleep is an important enough topic for national defense than surely sleep should be considered a serious topic for parenting!
In the past, between the ages of 4 and 6 years, a higher percent- age of children took naps, but they had fewer naps per week.
Dr. Foster wrote in 1927, “Up to the age of five (the usual age for entering kindergarten) more than half of the children nap. The drop from 68 percent at 4.5 years to 30 percent at 5–5.5 years” reflects entry into school. This 38% decrease in 1927 is similar to the 35% decrease noted in 1984–86 in children between 3 years and 4 years, but it is occurring a year earlier! Perhaps this decrease occurring one year earlier reflects a modern trend toward earlier involvement in pre-school, daycare, or scheduled activities so fewer children are napping at a younger age. Also, there is a modern trend for those children who are napping toward more naps per week and perhaps this modern trend to more naps per week reflects the modern trend towards later bedtimes causing more daytime sleepiness in some children.
Whatever the cause or causes for these trends, it is clear that parents influence nap behavior, and, over time, parenting practices change.
A late bedtime means that sleep is not in synchrony with the brain’s natural circadian sleep rhythm (Blog Post 112) and the duration of night sleep is shorter (Blog Post 109); both of which will impair the child during the day even if the naps are long (Blog Posts 113 and 182).
Hello! I have learned so much from your book and it has helped my 20 week twin girls a lot. They’ve been sleeping independently through the night in their crib since they were 12 weeks old. However, I’m still battling short naps and evening fussiness. Here is a typical day:
7-7:30am: Wake up and feed
We wait for sleepy cues and they go down for first nap in their crib between 8:30-9am. At almost exactly 45 min into this nap they stir and wake up. If I replace their pacifiers they will then sleep longer and give me a 90-120 min nap, sometimes I have to do it twice. One twin is harder than the other in this department but they don’t seem to wake each other up.
10:30-11: Feed, play, then down for second nap in crib after sleepy cues, usually 11:30-12pm. Same thing happens after 45min, replace pacifiers and they sleep another hour.
1-1:30pm: Feed, play, down for third nap around 2:30-3, but then they won’t sleep for longer than 20-30 min in their crib and won’t go to right to sleep without fussing like their first two naps. When they were younger they would sleep an hour in a swing or bouncy chair but now they get distracted or woken easily.
We’ll do another feeding at 4-4:30 and then try again for a short nap in a stroller or carrier but it’s always a battle. They seem sleepy and cranky all late afternoon until we do the last feeding at 6:30 and down to bed at 7pm. They go right to sleep; if there’s any crying it doesn’t last longer than five minutes. They then sleep through the night until morning wake up. I’ve thought about putting them down for an earlier bedtime per your book but then I’m worried about them getting enough to eat during the day and then breaking up their nighttime sleep for a feeding.
Any suggestions on these nap battles and evening fussiness, or is this a developmental phase we just wait out?
What was their gestational age at birth?
Are they identical or fraternal twins?
How involved is the father regarding night care and sleep issues?
Are you referring to my twin book?
Thank you for the quick reply! They were born at 37 weeks, healthy, no issues. They are identical and father is very involved; he is on paternity leave so we are doing everything together all day/night. I wasn’t aware of your twin book, I have your original “Healthy Sleep Habits” one.
Because the bedtime is too late, their sleep tank is going low and by the afternoon they have pre sleep arousal that interferes with a solid afternoon nap (down for third nap around 2:30-3, but then they won’t sleep for longer than 20-30 min) in their crib and won’t go to right to sleep without fussing like their first two naps.). The fatigue worsens so their behavior worsens
(We’ll do another feeding at 4-4:30 and then try again for a short nap in a stroller or carrier but it’s always a battle. They seem sleepy and cranky all late afternoon).
Please try for 3-5 nights only:
1. No new nap begins after 3pm, if they are asleep then, let them sleep.
2. Bedtime is 5:30pm (they are bathed, fed, soothed, put down drowsy but awake, you are leaving the room-lights out at 5:30pm)
Because of the early bedtime feeding, they might wake up for a normal night feeding.
Keep a record of sleep, mood, and behavior and let me know how it goes.
Does this help?
Thank you! We will try the earlier bedtime. If it means needing to feed them later on in the night but they are happier during the day it will be worth it. I’ll let you know how it goes. Is this going to help with them always waking up 45 minutes into their naps as well or is that something they develop as they grow? Should I continue trying to lengthen them to 90 min?
Is this going to help with them always waking up 45 minutes into their naps? Yes.
Is that something they develop as they grow? Yes.
Should I continue trying to lengthen them to 90 min? Yes if you are comfortable trying this and it often works.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
We’ve done 5 nights with a 5:30pm bedtime and below is a summary of their sleep and moods. Nap timing, though based on tired cues, still seems variable throughout the day and they are still waking up 45 min into most of them and/or usually only sleeping an hour at a time. We are also experiencing more early morning wakings which were very rare when we were putting them to bed at 7pm (they consistently woke at 6:30-7am then). Based on what you see should we continue with the early bedtime? Their mood at the end of the day is definitely better but that 3rd nap before 3pm is very tricky to time since they usually wake up more than 2 hours before bedtime and timing the last feeding is tricky as well. I exclusively pump and they only get breast milk, around 25-28 ounces a day, and they are each 12 and 13 lbs. We are also thinking of putting them in different cribs (same room) since M is currently the better day sleeper. I rarely get them off sync with their timing, not letting one sleep more than 30 minutes than the other.
Night/Day 1:
Bedtime 1730. M went right to sleep. S woke up within 5 min, cried for 30 min before falling asleep. She woke up briefly 30 min later, self soothed back to sleep. They’ve never been this fussy at bedtime before, they usually go right down. They slept until 0445. We fed them bottles (expressed breast milk) that they finished vigorously, and then put them back to bed. They went straight to sleep, slept until 0745. Happy all morning.
Nap at 0900. S slept for one hour, couldn’t soothe back to sleep. M slept for 1hr 40 min and I had to wake her up to keep them synced which made her fussy.
Nap at 1200, M took 10 min to settle and was fussy, S went right to sleep. They both slept for 40 min.
Down at 1430, no protest but they only slept for 30 min. They were very hysterical while I tried the graduated extinction method for 20 min. However, they stayed up playing with minimal fussiness until bedtime.
Down at 1730, then they took turns falling asleep and waking up crying and being soothed back to sleep until 1900.
Day 2:
Slept until 0600. Fed them, then put them right back down because they still seemed tired. They slept until 0800.
Nap 1 0930, cried for 20 min – M slept for 2 hours, S only 45 min. We let M sleep as long as possible while we hung with S, when M woke up S was ready for another nap so we put her down solo at 1220, she slept for 50 min.
M went down again at 1330 and slept for 50 min. When M woke up we put S down at 1430 and she slept for 90 min. We’ve never had them this off sync before.
Bedtime at 1730. M was definitely very tired after being awake for almost 3 hours so she cried and did some “false starts” for an hour. She woke up S who would join her in crying. They slept until 0650 the next morning, no night wakings.
Day 3:
Slept from 1820-0650. Happy, normal selves all morning.
Nap 1: 0815-1000. No crying, asleep within 5 min, Stevie woke up after 45 min, soothed with pacifier. Happy, normal selves.
Nap 2: 1130. S woke up at 20 min, cried briefly, self soothed and slept 2 hours. M woke up at 45 min, soothed with pacifier, slept 2 hours 15 min.
Nap 3: 1445-1600. At 1630 they were visibly tired, little fussy but possibly from hunger. Down at 1730, S cried for 5 min.
Day 4:
Up at 0700. This was a very unusual night. From 0200-0630 they woke up multiple times and made noises. Twice S cried on and off for more than 10 min and was soothed with a pacifier. The other times they self soothed back to sleep. They didn’t seem hungry. They haven’t done this since they were 10 weeks.
Nap: 0830. M slept 2 hours, S slept 90 min. Very happy all morning. I woke up M to try to sync them back together.
Nap: 1140. S cried for 5 min, slept for 1hr 15 min, M slept for 1 hr 40 min.
Nap: 1440-1540, neither could be soothed with pacifiers. They were a bit fussy until they had their bath and bottle. Down at 1730, no crying.
Day 5:
Slept until 0630. S cried at 0400 but soothed by pacifier. S woke at 0600 but we let her chatter a bit before getting up.
Nap at 0800, no crying. M woke up 30 min later, soothed by pacifier, only slept until 0900. S slept until 0920.
Nap at 1030 (saw tired cues). Went asleep with no crying. Woke at 1130, soothed with pacifier. Still sleeping at 1215 as I type this.
Thank you for your detailed report. It is difficult for me to see the big picture but you stated that “Their mood at the end of the day is definitely better.” Is this a mild, moderate, or large improvement? Perhaps this is a sufficient reason to continue the plan for another 3-5 days; what do you think?
Thanks again for such a quick reply! Yes, I would say their mood at the end of the day is a large improvement. I think the night wakings and continuously short naps are what threw me off. We will continue with the 5:30pm bedtime for another few nights and see if anything changes. If they wake up before 6am and we do a feeding, your book mentioned putting them back down again to prolong the “night sleep” which we have done before. To protect that morning nap should we then wake them up at a certain time or just let them sleep as long as they want? Right now their morning nap usually starts between 8-9am and they are awake 75-90 minutes before showing drowsy signs.
Because of the “large improvement” in mood. Please stick with the early bedtime. Follow your heart in trying to extend “night sleep” in the early morning. If successful, do not wake them. Your expectation is that between 4-6 months of age (or a little later because of their gestational age at birth), a long and regular mid morning nap will develop that begins about 9am and lasts 1-2 hours and later a midday nap starts at 12-2pm and also lasts 1-2 hours. The better rested they are in the morning (from an early bedtime) the sooner and more likely this will occur. Does this help?
Hi again! We’ve done a few more nights with the 5:30 bedtime and that late afternoon “witching hour” had reappeared. They have been sleeping until 6-7am every morning. They will take long naps in the morning and early afternoon but when put down between 2-2:30pm they won’t sleep for more than 45 min and then wake up very cranky and sometimes inconsolable. We are then stuck between trying to put them down for another nap at 4 and having them wake up close to the original bedtime goal or dealing with nonstop crying until 5:30pm. Any ideas?
Please describe with some detail: how long does the ‘witching behavior’ last? When does it start? Are they consolable or inconsolable? Is it mild, moderate, or severe?
What time does a morning nap usually begin and when does it often end. I know there is variation day by day so a general or approximate answer is fine. Same for the second nap.
Morning nap starts 8-9am and they’ll sleep 1-2 hours. Second nap starts 11-12 and they’ll sleep 1-2 hours. These are based on them waking up between 6:30-7:30am. “Witching hour” is after they’ve woken up from a 45 min nap that starts 2-3pm. They are moderately inconsolable, needing to be in a carrier or held constantly until bedtime routines that start at 4:30pm. They will even cry during feedings.
After the fist nap ends, do you think, based on drowsy signs, the second nap might be able to start a little earlier? If so, try an earlier second nap and third nap. Sometimes, shortening the interval of wakefulness between naps produces better naps and less presleep arousal later.
Hello again! It’s been a month since we started utilizing the 5:30pm bedtime. It’s been working very well at eliminating the evening “witching hour” but now things seem to be changing; they’re napping less during the day. Our girls are now 24 weeks (born at 37 weeks) and naps are getting shorter and shorter. They used to take 3 naps, each 75-120 minutes long but now they won’t sleep longer than an hour at a time, sometimes only 45 min. We utilize “crib hour” since pacifiers no longer get them to sleep longer. When they’re awake, they’re AWAKE. Here is a typical schedule:
Bedtime: 5:30pm, sometimes no crying, sometimes with crankiness during the last feeding and then for 15 min before falling asleep. Occasionally one will wake up after 45 min but a pacifier puts them right back to sleep (that’s the only time this works).
Wake up and feed: around 7am. Sometimes they will wake up between 5-6 but it sounds like chatter and they will go back to sleep on their own or happily remain in their crib awake.
Nap #1: Down between 8-9am once we see tired cues. We’ve experimented with putting them down within an hour despite cues, sometimes at 75-90 min and results vary. Any longer and they get fussy, it’s very hard to get them to a goal of a 9am nap.
Nap #2: Down between 11-12, sometimes as early as 10:30 if they didn’t sleep longer during their first nap.
Nap #3: Down between 1:30-2:30. This nap is never more than 45 min, sometimes only 20-30 min. When they wake up early getting to bedtime is very taxing – they seem exhausted and are falling asleep during that last feeding.
During the day they are very happy and engaging and wake up from naps smiling. We interact with them all day, they are outside a lot and around a lot of different family members that live next door. However, day time sleep is a total of 3-3.5 hours with night sleep around 12-13, is this enough for them? The fussiness at bedtime is throwing us off because sometimes it can be very intense. Also, should we be getting them up earlier in the morning? Is making them wait until 7am causing shorter naps? My thought was that getting them up before then would make getting to that first nap a lot harder.
If you had a single 6 month-old, I would suggest implementing the ‘nap drill’ as described in my book to eventually obtain a nap around 9am, 12-2pm, +/- a 3rd nap in the afternoon. I think the current 2 major naps are a little too early, thus the fussiness at bedtime.
However, with twins, I don’t know if this is feasible. Might you try the nap drill with one only starting on a Saturday with extra help with the other twin? Can it be done with both twins simultaneously?
Maybe you will modify what I wrote about the nap drill because of twins and just try to delay the first two naps a little at a time.
What are your thoughts?
I had an earlier version of your book that didn’t mention the nap drill but now that I have your 5th version I can see that we have been unintentionally loosely following that strategy but incorrectly in some ways. I think we will try to gradually delay the first two naps with both of them for now. Right now they usually wake up at around 45 min after falling asleep so I try to soothe them for a bit and then leave them for another 15-20 minutes to see if they’ll fall back asleep. Sometimes they cry, sometimes they are just awake and talking to themselves, not appearing upset. According to your Nap Drill, since they are nearing 6 months old, during the mid-morning nap I should not do this last bit (but still attempt to soothe at first) and should just call it, get them up, and then keep them up as long as possible until the mid-day nap. If one wakes up before an hour and is happily hanging out in their crib and doesn’t appear upset, is it okay to leave them there until they do get upset or the other one wakes up? Will this make them more tired later on?
“If one wakes up before an hour and is happily hanging out in their crib and doesn’t appear upset, is it okay to leave them there until they do get upset or the other one wakes up?” I think so.
The conflicting goals are:
1. Keep them up longer to reach the approximate times when the biological nap rhythm is expected to occur so their nap is more restorative.
2. Not keep them up too long to prevent pre-sleep arousal that interferes with easily falling asleep.
There is always some trial and error and with twins, a greater challenge. A temporary super-early bedtime is absolutely necessary to guarantee success.
Please let me know how it goes.
Dr. Weissbluth,
We have read your book and have found it to be very helpful. We have an 11-month-old who, about a month and a half ago, started resisting naps after previously being fairly (80-90%) consistent with them. Now, he will usually take 1 nap per day but will miss either the first or second nap. We have a strict routine and have attempted to get him to nap at 9:00 am and 12:00 pm.
After 1.5 hours awake, we monitor for drowsy signs but he doesn’t have obvious drowsy signs, so we have learned to be VERY attentive and vigilent and/or just go by the clock. Sometimes he will wake up early, for example 6:00 am, so in those situations, we will often put him down for his first nap at 8:30 am.
We tried the “reset” of an early bedtime for several days, but even when he sleeps at night fairly well, he resists the first nap quite often. We have a regimented pre-nap routine, read to him, feed him a bottle, soothe him, etc., but he is just very excited and restless in the crib (i.e., overtired, as we know from your book).
Should we just continue to put him down for naps and, even if he cries/plays/is restless for an hour, continue to stick to the schedule? Is there anything else we might be missing? Could we do a phone consultation?
Thank you!
When did you begin the bedtime routine and when did he fall asleep for the night about 6 weeks ago when he was mostly taking 2 naps a day.
Please describe his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement) during the 60 minutes before you began the bedtime routine about 6 weeks ago when he was mostly taking 2 naps a day.
Please describe his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement) during the 60 minutes before you begin the bedtime routine currently.
When do you usually begin the bedtime routine and when does he fall asleep for the night currently.
Please describe in detail the time and number of days that you did a reset.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
My son (11 months old) is an incredible sleeper. I followed your book religiously. He was on a consistent schedule:
Nap #1 – 9am – 11:00am (2 hours long)
Nap #2 – 2/2:30-3:30 (1 hour long)
Bedtime – 7pm
Awake – 7am
As of 3 weeks ago, he completely stopped the second nap. We offer it everyday – sing a quiet son, dark room, sound machine, etc. His routine is the same, but he fights it. He starts off quiet for the first 15 min or so, then starts babbling and then around the 40 min mark starts crying uncontrollably. Personally, I think he is too young to be awake from 11am-7pm, but nothing we do is working. Please let us know your thoughts.
Thank you!
When younger, was he taking a third nap and if so, when did it begin and end and when did the 3rd nap disappear?
Before he developed his current nap issue, about 4-5 weeks ago, please describe his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement) between 6-7pm.
Currently, please describe his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens or parental involvement) between 5-6pm and also 6-7pm.
Thank you for your response. He was taking his 3rd nap up until about 6.5 months. It would start around 4:45-5:15ish, it was never longer than 30 minutes.
Before nap issue: His mood and behavior is great, he does very well with toys on his own, we do not allow screens for him at this age. He gets a lot of fresh air during his time awake. ~2 walks a day in the neighborhood.
Currently: He is very active still, content, but I can see the drowiness in his eyes late afternoon. He starts getting fussy around 645 so we start bedtime routine at 630.
At 9 months of age, about 3% of children are taking a single nap. At 12, 15, and 18 months of age, it is 17%, 56%, and 77% respectively. Based on his age of 11 months, I think your goal is to establish a second nap with the expectation that he will transition to a single nap around 15-18 months of age.
Please carefully review Blog Posts 83 and 115X to fully appreciate how to recognize drowsy signs.
Please also read Blog Posts 159, 171, 172, and 204 to understand the concept of pre-sleep arousal.
Lastly, please read Bog Posts 84-86 to understand how ‘cumulative sleepiness’ may have caused your current problem.
Then, tell me your interpretation of what went wrong and how we are going to fix it.
I will then give you my interpretation and specific advice going forward.
Another thing I should add, the past 7 days or so, the first nap is increasingly longer by ~30-45 min. Sometimes we will put him down at 9am and he will sleep until 1145-12. Wondering if this could be contributing to the refusal?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth,
I read through your recommended blogs above and now I am wondering with the previous 9 & 2 nap schedule he was on, were they too spread out which potentially lead to overtiredness? Is his morning nap being too long becoming the problem?
“Currently: He is very active still, content, but I can see the drowiness in his eyes late afternoon.”Because his bedtime is too late, he has accumulated a sleep debt (cumulative sleepiness) which has caused him to take a longer morning nap but his higher state of neurological arousal interferes with a second nap.
“He starts getting fussy around 645 so we start bedtime routine at 630.” This pre-sleep arousal is proof that his bedtime is too late.
By moving the bedtime earlier, he will get more sleep at the front end, awake more rested, the morning nap might be a little shorter (or not). Maybe limit this nap to 60-90 minutes.
Offer a second nap opportunity(the time is based on drowsy signs, not clock time) and this will lead to a second nap. Read the “Nap Drill” section in my book for this second nap.
To start this, begin with 3-5 days of a 5:30pm bedtime (he is bathed, fed, soothed and you are leaving the room at 5:30pm).
Later, when the second nap is re-established, the bedtime will be a little later (based on drowsy signs( but not as late as before.
When older, and he goes from 2 to 1 nap, the bedtime will again temporarily be moved earlier.
How does this sound?
This sounds great, I will start these changes immediately & will share the outcomes.
I really appreciate your response & guidance!
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, we adjusted our son’s bedtime, but the second nap is still hit or miss & sometimes only 40 minutes.
Bedtime: 5:30pm (asleep by 5:32)
——
Morning wake up: 6:00am
Nap #1: 8:45am 10:15am (I had to wake him)
Nap #2: 2pm-3:20
Bedtime: 5:30 (asleep at 6pm)
——
Morning wake up: 5:29am (he was content so we didn’t get him until 6:00am)
Nap #1: 9am – 10:30am (I did not have to wake him)
Nap #2: 2pm – 3:30pm. put him down at 1:30, took a while to fall asleep but was content
Bedtime: 6 (asleep at 6:30pm)
——
Morning wake up: 6am (content so we didn’t go in until 6:15am)
Nap #1: 9am-10:15am
Nap #2: 1:45pm-2:30
Bedtime: 5:30 (asleep at 6pm)
——
Morning wake up: 6am (content so we didn’t go in until 6:15am)
Nap #1: 9am-10:30
Nap #2: no nap, just stayed awake quietly for 45 mins
Bedtime: 5:30 (asleep immediately)
——
Morning wake up: 6:30am
Nap #1: 9am-10:30am
Overall, he is very happy & content. Are the 6am wake ups normal? He has always slept until 7am so this has been new. No crying during bedtime routine which has been nice! Should we continue pushing the two naps? It’s interesting, no matter what time he wakes in the morning, 9am seems to be his sweet spot for his first nap & all week he has been naturally waking at 10:30am.
He will be 1 on Dec 4th.
The transition from two naps to one nap is sometimes confusing because it might appear that the child need 1 +1/2 naps!
Because he falls asleep easily at 5:30 and “Overall, he is very happy & content…No crying during bedtime routine which has been nice!” I would stay the course and continue to offer a 2nd nap opportunity. Pay close attention to drowsy signs during the 60 minutes before the 2nd nap opportunity and you might discover that sometimes this nap should begin earlier or later (based on the duration of the first nap) than you have been using in the past.
Keep a written record of nap timing and nap duration for several days and get back to me.
Is this helpful?
This is helpful, thank you! For the days he does take a solid afternoon nap, is it ok to push bedtime slightly?
Stay highly focused on drowsy signs. The key to getting through a 2 nap to 1 nap transitions is keeping an early bedtime.
For a more detailed explanation, please read the section in my book on this subject.
Hi Dr. Wesibbluth,
I am considering a future situation and which route to take. I’d like to know if you write about this or have advice.
For context my son is 11 months old, sleeps 11.5-12 hours a night and 2.5-3.5 hours across 2 naps that start at about 9am and 1-130 pm. Bedtime is about 6-630pm to 6-7am.
We have never done this and are anxious of the effects. On a day when one nap must be spent away from home (in a stroller most likely), would it be best to “skip” the morning nap or the afternoon nap. In other words, should i try to have him in his room and normal nap environment for the first or second nap?
As a follow up involving nap 2 and bedtime, would it be better to cut nap 2 short and move bedtime slightly earlier (530pm) or let nap 2 go as normal and move bedtime a little later (7pm) if I had to.
I know none of this is ideal but in situations where there has to be an adjustment just for a day, which is best?
Thanks
I little more context might allow me to give some advice, please.
We will be out of the house at some point during the day. I can allow him to have the first nap at home from 9-1030ish and then “skip the second nap” while away from home with an early bedtime at 530pm due to missed second nap.
Or I can “skip” the first nap and have him out and allow the second nap at home from 1 – 230ish. Bedtime around 530-6pm.
The concern is missing one nap and how bad that will effect him with overtiredness. Which nap would have the least effect on him if it is skipped? He can sleep in the stroller if he wants but he usually doesn’t and I know that isnt great sleep.
Is that the context you need?
Because he is most rested in the morning after the night’s sleep, I think it would be less stressful if the 1st nap is skipped. If possible, maybe the 2nd nap and/or the bedtime would be earlier on that day.
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, what would be your advice for a 16 month old who has been sleep trained and this week started daycare so now the bedtime is a nightmare and overnight wake ups with crying are starting again.
Before daycare we were doing 2 naps, however most days baby was skipping either morning or afternoon nap. Or morning nap was happening so late in the morning so by 3:45 baby was tired. In those cases we did early bedtime, aiming for 5:30.
A week before daycare we switched to 1 nap at 11:30 but baby was not reaching 2 hrs of sleep most days. Early bedtime at 5:30 or so. He was falling asleep at 6 or a bit past 6. Wake ups have been early around 5:30 AM.
He’s not used to sleep anywhere else other than his crib so naps at daycare have been challenging. Yesterday and tonight’s bedtime were bad, lots of intense crying missing mom. Baby fell asleep past 6:30 last 2 nights. Last night there were 2 wake ups with crying. First wake up mom comforted with nursing, but to not make it a habit we won’t do that anymore. It has just been a tough week for everyone.
Do you have any suggestions for this situation?
Is daycare every week-day?
What time do you arrive home with your baby?
It will probably be only T-W-T unless I have a meeting on M or F (if he goes in M or F it’ll probably be only half day and home for nap time) This week I picked him up at 4PM, feed him dinner, gave him a bath and tried to get him to bed as early as possible, but soothing took a loooooot longer than usual because he was hysterical.
What time do you arrive home with your baby from daycare?
When do you begin the bedtime routine on T-W-T and on all other days?
When do you leave the room expecting your son to fall asleep on T-W-T and on all other days?
We arrive home around 4:20. I feed him dinner right away, do bath time and bedtime routine. I try to have him in the crib by 5:30/5:45 and I hope that he falls asleep by 6. Last week was the first week of daycare but things went downhill quickly. There was a night with 4 wake ups with crying, and it has been tough to leave the room without him screaming (I believe in fear that we won’t come back just like daycare).
On other days I try to stay with the same routine to keep his internal clock on track.
I hope this phase will pass soon, but I’m wondering if there is anything I should do differently and hope to get him to wake up a little later so he can make it to nap time at 11:30 not completely exhausted.
Describe his mood and behavior when alone with toys (no screens or parental interaction) between 4:30-5:30pm separately on T-W-T and for the other days.
How often is he in his crib at 5:30pm compared to 5:45?
“I hope that he falls asleep by 6”. When does he usually actually fall asleep?
Hi Dr. Weissbluth, last week his mood was terrible but it was the 1st week of daycare so that is bad data. This week went a bit better. He’s taking longer naps at daycare 1.5-2hrs. From 4:30-5:30 on Tuesday and Thursday he was calm and looking for things to play while I was getting dinner ready. Those days he woke up past 2 pm at daycare and had longer naps so we put him down around 6:15.
On Wednesday he wasn’t happy, he was cranky and emotional. The earliest I was able to leave his room was 5:50.
He has been crying for about 10 minutes and screaming after we put him down and then he falls asleep between around 6 (if shorter nap, earlier nap wake up) or 6:30 (if longer nap and wake up past 2pm)
He has been waking up around 5:15-5:20 everyday this week, crying which is something he wasn’t doing before. Middle of the night wake ups have stopped this week.
Longer naps at daycare and no more night awakenings are positive signs that his sleep will improve. His joy in seeing you at the end of the may mask drowsy signs. In the long run, early bedtimes and good naps on non-day care days is your best bet.