If you have not already done so, please read Blog Posts 1 through 5 that describe how sleep is important and beneficial. I will post specific information for parents and children based on my book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Please do not be put off by my book’s length. This is a reference book. Read only the topic of interest to you.
As naps disappear, less day sleep occurs, and then, this might cause your child to begin to acquire a sleep debt that messes up night sleep. The previously customary bedtime was only slightly too late, but now with less day sleep, the previously slightly too late bedtime is way too late because there is less day sleep to partially compensate for a slightly too late bedtime. Your child now develops a higher state of neurological arousal because of less daytime sleep and starts to have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep at night and early in the morning.
In all 5 situations, ‘Cumulative Sleepiness’ (Blog Posts 84–86) means that the adverse effects from a bedtime that is too late will worsen over time. Thus, a bedtime that is only slightly too late might initially seem to be not creating any problems, but later, “all of a sudden” your child hits a wall from an ever-increasing sleep debt. Now, bedtime battles, and/or night wakings, and/or nap deterioration, and/or extremely early wake-up times occur. If the bedtime is only slightly too late, it might take a long time before these sleep problems appear. Before these sleep problems become full-blown, your child’s mood, behavior, or sociability might have mildly or moderately worsened in the late afternoon or early evening and you might mistakenly attribute these behavioral/emotional symptoms and mild sleep issues to myths such as ‘teething’, ‘growth spurts’, or ‘sleep regressions’ (Blog Posts 36–37).
Solution
Last night my 8m (adjusted) old went to bed at 545 and slept peacefully until 515, ate and went back to sleep until 715 am. (Nap total-120 minutes)
Tonight we were in bed by 6:05 (feeding took longer than anticipated) and every 40 minutes she is up screaming (not moaning-screaming). (Nap total-90 minutes) Did those 20 minutes make that big of a difference?
Please read Blog Post 6 (POWER OF SMALL CHANGES) to fully understand why the answer is YES.
Last night I left her room by 533pm she was probably asleep by 540-545. She woke up at 4am, fed her 10-15 minutes. Fussed when I put her down (she was awake). Eventually fell back asleep but woke 20-30 minutes later.
1. How long are early morning feeds ok?
2. Recommendations for how to handle early morning arousals?
Many babies awake at 3-4am for a quick feed and return to sleep. In general, I would ignore her after that until around 5:30ish because if you start the day too early, it will eventually mess up her naps.
Hello Dr Weissbluth!
You’ve been a savior to me over my child’s life and it seems we are now hitting another transition point. I have a 2 year 3 month old now. We had been doing very early bedtime (6/6:15 pm) up until recently (sometimes as early as 5:30 on sleep deficit days resulting from travel or a crappy day nap) and he was generally asleep by 6:45 at the latest. However, we recently have done two things:
1. His naps have somehow gone from 60 minutes to 90-120. He sleeps from 1 to 2:30/3 p.m. every day, it used to be 1-2 p.m. max.
2. We removed his pacifiers about a month ago, which is about when his naps lengthened and he started having trouble getting to sleep at night.
Because of the lengthened naps and lack of pacifier, we are starting to see difficulties putting him down at night. We’ve moved his bedtime later to 6:45/7 to account for the increased day sleep, but he’s still not falling asleep until 8/8:15 (so he’s spending a lot of time in bed awake). I’ve tried going back to the earlier bedtime (6:15) and find the same thing happens – he stays awake laying in bed until 8. We’ve also seen some night/early waking in all of this as well, but no matter how early I move the bedtime (as early as 6:15), he doesn’t fall asleep until 8 pm. Spending so much time awake in bed at night is leading to problems now even getting him to bed in the first place. I notice on days where he has a shorter nap (60 minutes) we see fewer bedtime struggles and he falls asleep by 7:30.
Does this mean he’s ready to drop that nap? He seems a bit young, and he also goes to preschool in 2 months where I think he will be forced into a nap from 1-3 pm.
I’m curious what the best approach is here, since it seems like he’s falling asleep at 8 no matter what time I put him down, and we are having adverse outcomes with the night wakings/early wakings. Please help, thank you!
Why did you remove the pacifier about a month ago?
During his long latency to sleep onset, is he quiet, calm, playful or agitated, fretful, fearful?
Does he understand consequences?
Please read the section on Sleep Rules which might be used in a modified format because of his age.
We removed the pacifier because it was clearly starting to change the shape of his mouth and he’s been an excessive drooler with chin irritation. We felt it was time to prioritize his physical needs over his emotional attachment to the pacifier.
He is quiet and calm for the most part, but will then have 1-2 periods where he is agitated and crying, but I avoid going back in. He generally calms himself down, and we’ve started practicing “big breaths” as part of the routine, which he does alone in his crib.
I don’t think he really understands consequences yet, no. Maybe a little or starting to, but I don’t think he’s solidified that concept.
I will look into the sleep rules section.
Understood.
The major problem is that his falling asleep time is too late causing pre-sleep arousal (“periods where he is agitated and crying”) causing a long latency to sleep onset. An earlier bedtime, based on drowsy signs will solve his sleep problem (“I notice on days where he has a shorter nap (60 minutes) we see fewer bedtime struggles and he falls asleep by 7:30.).
To accomplish an earlier bedtime, start by limiting his nap to 60-90 minutes. Exactly how much you shorten the nap will require some trial and error but once the earlier bedtime is in place for a while, the nap duration will automatically shorten.
Please carefully read Blog Posts 83 and 204 so we are on the same page.
Does this help?
Yes, same page, I read the posts. I think we got out of whack with the routine and earlier time with pacifier removal, but we’ll claw our way back to that earlier bedtime through this shortened nap strategy and pay super close attention to the drowsy signals. We’re definitely missing those and going straight to hyper-arousal/wired behavior.
I also re-read the sleep rules but I do think he’s too young for the consequences part of it, but will start building in some rewards.
Yes, if you go forward, Sleep Rules only with rewards for compliance; do not attempt restrictions of privileges for non-compliance.
To encourage other parent, please consider writing, and posting here, a narrative report of your sleep adventure that I would use as a Blog Post or perhaps an Amazon book review.
I wish you sweet dreams for your child.